Start With The Corners
by McGonagal'sCat
Summary: (Previously titled 'No Need to be Shy') What happens to Hermione when the Golden Trio go their separate ways? Following Voldemort's defeat, Hermione returns to Hogwarts for her seventh year, but without Harry and Ron there, she struggles to find her purpose. Luckily for her, Remus Lupin is also returning to his DADA post. Can Hermione find happiness? Can Remus help? AU *COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I own none of these characters. That honor goes to the fabulous J.K. Rowling. I'm just playing around a bit.**

 _"You're an emotional jigsaw at the moment but you're gonna piece yourself back together. You know, start with the corners and look for the blue bits."_

 _-Man Up_

It was with a heavy heart that Hermione Granger leaned out of her bedroom window at 12 Grimmalud Place and stared out into the dark night. The summer air was warm and sweet with the scent of gardenias. The gentle night breeze swept her honey brown curls away from her face.

The inky, black sky was bereft of stars, save for the constellation, Orion.

The brave hunter.

His story had always been one of her favorites. The arrogant hunter, who dared defied the gods, was killed by a scorpion and cast into the heavens as his punishment. Hermione wondered how he felt amongst the constellations, alone for all eternity, with only his pain to keep him company.

Did he regret his arrogance? She was certain he did.

Before the war, she was proud to be known as Hogwarts' resident 'know-it-all'. She knew the sweet triumph of victory, her brilliance often lighting the way to success. She had made it through many a tough situation and had felt full unbridled pride in her own abilities. She had known true happiness from being able to protect those she loved the most. Being able to outwit the ministry, death eaters and even Professor Snape on a few occasions had given her a sense of invincibility, and for a long time she truly believed she could take on the world.

She now knew that such hubris is often dispensed with swiftly by a cruel, harsh world.

So much had happened in the past year: the defeat of Voldemort, the loss of her parents and numerous friends including Fred, Tonks, Dumbledore, and the list went on and on. Life had happened, in so many remarkable and ordinary ways.

The tragedy, the immense loss had changed her. Life no longer was carefree and full of joy, not like it had once been. Even with the threat of Voldemort gone, she still felt a sense of worry, of dread, of sadness that seemed to permeate every inch of her life. Would that lighthearted feeling of her youth ever return? Could people like her ever leave behind their tragic pasts?

After the war, she had spent many months helping with the reconstruction of Hogwarts and then joined Harry, Ron and Remus this summer at Grimmauld Place. She had hoped the comfort of this familiar home and friends would bring her some peace and rest. And while she did feel better just being in their company, she ultimately felt lost, still grieving the deaths of so many and the loss of a happy future that she might never even know.

She hadn't slept well in nearly a year. Unlike Harry and Ron, she tended to avoid sleeping potions, hating the notion of depending upon some external force to achieve something that should come naturally. So the end result was that she was quite exhausted most days. Yet in spite of the weariness that seeped into her very bones, the blissful weightlessness of sleep she so longed for eluded her since the final battle. Many nights brought vivid nightmares full of suffering so real she would cry out for them to cease. So lately she found it easiest to wait until she absolutely collapsed from exhaustion, usually in the wee hours, rather than lay awake, fruitlessly willing sleep to come.

Tonight was no different. She cast a _Tempus_ charm to see the late hour and knew sadly that sleep would come no time soon. So she closed her window, left her wand on her bedside table and she softy padded down to the kitchen for a cup of tea.

She tip-toed past Harry & Ron's room, who were headed off to start auror training the next day. She gently eased down the creaky steps, careful not to rouse Remus as she past his room. Merlin, knew he had a horrible time sleeping, too, and she would hate to wake him should he actually be asleep.

As she reached the kitchen, she saw from the hallway the soft glow of the kitchen hearth and heard the gentle clink of a tea cup reaching its saucer and knew she needn't have been so quiet as she passed Remus' room.

Sure enough, there sat her former professor and dear friend, facing away from her, sipping tea in a thread-bare white t-shirt and checkered pajama pants.

She leaned against the door for a moment and smiled at the sight of him, happy to have his lovely company at this late hour.

Although if she had know he would be up, she would've put on something more appropriate than kitty cat pajama pants and an old tank top.

She softly walked up behind him and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder. He placed his hand atop hers and smiled as her warm hand rested there on his shoulder.

"Ah, my favorite midnight companion," he said softly, smiling as he turned to look up at her.

"You know I love your company but you should really try and get some sleep. We've got a big day tomorrow," he offered, but his chastisement was said with a sweet smile and she knew he, too, was happy to have her company for one last night.

For tomorrow morning Hermione began her seventh and final year at school, while Remus was once again returning to his post as DADA professor.

"Those are rich words coming from a night owl like yourself," she said as she sat down next to him and smiled, meeting his soft grey eyes.

Eyes that always seemed to bear such sadness now looked positively mournful as the light from the fire danced across them.

She knew that he and Tonks had only dated a few months but her death had left him bereft. He rarely talked about her and seldom seemed to share his thoughts and feelings but Hermione knew he was hurting. He always tried to be the strong one, the one everyone could count on to be level-headed and in-charge. The price of that steadfastness was many a sleepless night, quietly carrying a burden that few could imagine. She knew these rare moments at night were the only time and space he allowed himself to mourn the loss of all those dearest to him. Looking at him now, she silently berated herself for stealing this private time from him.

He smiled back at her and simply nodded.

"Well, since I can't guilt you into getting some sleep, could I perhaps interest you in a cup of tea?", he kindly asked.

"Yes, please," she said smiling warmly.

He carefully poured her a cup, adding two sugars and a splash of cream, just the way she liked it, as always.

"Thank you, Remus," she offered as he slid it before her. "You always remember how I like my tea. Harry always forgets the cream and Ron always adds to much sugar. But you never forget. Thank you for that...for remembering," she said softly, her face framed by the flickering glow of the hearth.

"Oh, you're easy to remember, love," he said smiling at her.

She took her first sip and sighed at the warmth that slowly suffused her chest, her shoulders relaxing and fingers wrapping around her small cup, enjoying the way it warmed her hands.

He smiled at the sight, secretly glad he had her delightful company for one last night.

"If I had known you'd be joining me this evening I would've picked up biscuits today," he said, looking genuinely contrite.

"Oh, I do think I have some chocolate left. Would you care for some?", he kindly asked. For he knew Hermione shared his same weakness for Honey Duke's finest.

"Oh, no, no. I'm fine, Remus. Really, you've done enough. I'm happy with my tea," she offered demurely, but he knew better.

He smiled knowingly at her, stood and padded softly across the kitchen to the large pantry. After a moment of rooting through tins and baskets, he finally found the last chocolate bar, hidden on the top shelf, away from the ravenous teenage boys who shared their house. He carefully peeled the golden wrapper and broke off a small chunk for himself and set the rest of the large bar before her, tempting her.

He watched her with delight in his eyes as she hesitated for only a moment before reaching forward and guiltily breaking off a small piece.

"I knew you couldn't resist," he said with a slight chuckle, watching as she savored the delectable treat with apparent pleasure.

"Ah, sadly, you know me too well," she said, licking the melted chocolate from her delicate fingers, his eyes never straying from hers.

"Thank you for the treat, it's delicious," she said softly, smiling at him.

He nodded as he finally pulled his eyes from hers, pleased that he could bring her some small, simple pleasure.

They ate and drank in companionable silence for quite sometime, sharing the chocolate, staring into the fire and simply enjoying the soothing company of each other.

These late night teas had been happening more frequently as of late and Hermione secretly relished them. She never told the boys about these visits, she didn't want to share them with anyone. For having Remus all to herself felt like such a luxury.

Since he had taught her back in her third year, she had admired his intellect and sharp sense of humor, his dedication and kindness. And lately, set by the glow of the fireplace, here in this drafty old kitchen, in the dead of night, she saw something new in him.

She had begun to see just how handsome he was, how beautiful his strong arms were, how full his lips, how deep and welcoming his slate-colored eyes. Taking in his elegant silhouette was like tasting her first sip of water after years in the parched desert, so was the effect he had on her. It stirred something inside of her, something sweet she had never felt before.

She bit her bottom lip and stared at him with such an intensity, such a raw heat, she had to force herself to look away. She felt flushed and dazed from the thoughts and shook her head to try and clear it from her mind.

Goose bumps suddenly prickled her skin as she sat next to him, suddenly aware of the effect his physical closeness was having on her. Embarrassed at how her body was responding, Hermione pulled her knees up to her chest to try and quiet her racing heart and to cover her breasts as her nipples were suddenly hardened and straining against her thin tank top.

She stared at the stone floor and absentmindedly rubbed her cold feet together. Even in the dead of summer, this old home was so drafty and she silently cursed herself for neglecting to put on socks and a bra for that matter.

Pulling his eyes away from the fire and noticing her clutching her feet, he smiled and reached over and pulled her feet free from her chair and placed them gently on his lap. His warm, soft hands touching her cold feet sent shivers up her spine as he began to slowly and tenderly rub them. This sudden, intimate gesture left her too stunned for words. She simply leaned back and watched him.

"Your feet are like ice, are they always this cold at night?", he inquired with a sweet smile.

But she couldn't answer, for her brain and mouth and body all seemed to have disconnected from each other as he warmed each foot by rubbing them thoroughly. As each foot relaxed, he gently and slowly pushed up the legs of her loose pajama pants and gradually slid his strong hands up each calf and rubbed them too, going just past the knee, gently caressing the tender flesh of her inner thighs.

The sensation was so tantalizing, so deliciously pleasing, so completely overwhelming, that Hermione couldn't help but tilt her head back and let out a small moan at the pleasure it brought her. And he couldn't help but continue.

Seeing the creamy, soft skin of her neck, her head tilted, eyes closed, lost in pure pleasure, Remus felt that familiar ache begin to build deep inside of him. One that he had been feeling more and more as of late when he was in the company of this bright, beautiful, amazing, young witch.

A yearning, stronger than anything he had ever felt before, to reach out and kiss her delicate, soft lips, to taste the chocolate and tea on her mouth and devour every inch of her, raged through him.

He barely stifled a groan as he took in the sight of her supple, beautiful body, relaxing yet writhing under his tender touch. Her eyes closed, he could openly delight in the sight of her perfect body; her pink lips parted in pleasure, her long, smooth legs nestled in his lap, her full breasts rising with each breath, her pert nipples rubbing against her thin shirt.

Merlin, how he hated himself for noticing, but he simply couldn't tear his eyes from her exquisite form. His hungry eyes swept over her with a dangerous want churning and stirring within him.

His mouth was suddenly dry and he felt woozy and lightheaded. As she let out a contented sigh and stretched her long legs in his lap, she inadvertently brushed the tops of his thighs with her toes causing his whole body to become aflame with raw passion. At this touch, a wanton urge tore through him and it took every ounce of self-control not to pull her into his lap and taste her, claim her as his own.

His breath hitched at the pleasure rippling through him and he could feel his self-control slipping through his tenuous grasp. He had to close his eyes and look away from her just to keep himself together.

His eyes averted, his mind slowly cleared of the lust-filled haze and it suddenly dawned on him that he still had his hands wrapped around her beautiful legs, rubbing far further up her thighs than he had ever intended. And he knew if he didn't stop now, he might not he able to later.

He slowly stopped rubbing her legs as her head slowly tilted forward and eyes opened to reveal such a relaxed, playful smile on her sweet, pink lips. He had brought forth that smile and it made his heart sing.

As he stared fixedly at the floor, he forced himself to fully regain control of himself. His breathing slowed and his pounding heart quieted.

He was being inappropriate and downright ridiculous, he knew it. He felt shameful and lecherous for touching her so intimately, leering at her half-dressed body. They had lived together for months, had become dear friends, she trusted him and he hated himself for abusing that trust. He was twice her age and about to become her professor, once more. The very last thing he needed to be doing was rubbing her legs and thinking about her smooth, supple skin. She could never feel anything more than friendly affection towards him, he was sure of it.

They had both been lonely these past few months and he was taking advantage of her by being so forward. He had been foolish and impulsive to even touch her. He had wanted to touch her for weeks and thus far he had been successful in controlling himself, but something about tonight felt different.

Maybe it was the fact that they would be leaving to start school the next day, and would once again slip into the more formal role of teacher and student, thus stunting their easy, comfortable friendship.

Maybe it was the way her pink, pouted lips curled around her soft, delicate fingers as she slowly licked the chocolate from them. Or perhaps it was the way the thin tank top she wore showed off her luscious body that usually was hidden beneath jumpers and robes.

Maybe it was how sexy she looked with her legs tucked to her chin, her curls cascading down her bare shoulders.

Whatever it was, it made his reserve crumble and that frightened him.

That he could so easily give into such desires and wants, even momentarily, terrified him. Having lycanthrope his whole life, he had prided himself on becoming a master of self-control, easily hiding his true feelings and yearnings throughout his long, lonely life for fear of hurting someone he cared about.

But something about being with Hermione made him feel safe and wanted, and that feeling of acceptance made him drop his guard, much to his chagrin. He deeply respected Hermione, her brilliant mind, her brave heart, her beautiful face, every single thing about her inspired him, enticed him. He would never willingly hurt her or take advantage of her, she meant too much to him. He would never be anything less than a perfect gentleman because that was what she deserved.

To touch her, to let his eyes linger on her beautiful body, full of delicious curves, had been an error in judgement. An error he wasn't entirely sure he wouldn't make again.

So rather than reaching for her lips, he reached down instead and pulled off his own warm and thoroughly tattered socks and tenderly placed them on Hermione's feet.

The loss of his hands on her thighs and his abrupt change in demeanor had left her wanting more, aching for his soft touch. She had been so thoroughly engrossed in his ministrations that she had momentarily lost herself in the pure pleasure of the contact.

She thought she might have offended him by being so relaxed, even moaning in pleasure but as he sweetly gave her the socks from his own feet, she was touched by his tenderness, his sweet, kind way of taking care of her.

"You don't have to give me your socks," she kindly admonished, "you've already done too much."

As she reached forward to remove them, his hands clasped hers and she stopped.

"Please keep them. It's the least I can do," he said as he leaned forward and spoke next to her ear, his lips brushing her hair. "Besides they're not much to look at. They will, however, keep you warm."

"Thank you, Remus," she whispered as she locked eyes with him, his face mere inches from her. His lips so dearly close to her own.

He knew if he stared any longer into those honey brown orbs, he would fall in and be lost forever. So he smiled and gently clasped the back of her ankles and placed her feet back in her chair.

In urgent need to break the hypnotic contact with her, he abruptly stood up and took their cups to the sink.

After several calming minutes had passed and the tea cups had been thoroughly washed, and in an effort to restore the previous equilibrium, he turned from his spot at the sink and asked, "Are you nervous about returning to school tomorrow?"

She looked over to him and nodded.

"Don't be," he said softly.

"Everything is going to be fine. After six years, you finally get to just be a student, without any worries. For once you will not be required to save the world. You're NEWTs will be a breeze, I hardly think you'll even need to study. Ginny will be there, as will I. I promise not to be too hard on you in class," he said with a smile that made her softly chuckle.

"I guess I'm just...I'm not entirely sure I'm doing the right thing. I feel like maybe I've made a mistake by turning down all the job offers in order to finish my schooling. I mean, I've fought against the Dark Lord, worrying about NEWTs seems a bit silly by comparison. Harry and Ron will be aurors soon, doing real good. All I'll be doing is studying and catching kids snogging after curfew. I just want to find what I'm meant to be doing, what my purpose is now and it seems impossible to find. Maybe I'm just being selfish by hiding at school to avoid facing the real world. I just don't know. Nothing seems to fit at the moment, not very much brings me happiness. What if I never figure all of this out. I've seen such horror and sadness, maybe that's all that life has to offer."

His heart broke for the young woman sitting before him. The bravest woman he had ever known was all but admitting defeat. Seeing her brought so low was crushing. He thought she had been doing so well this summer, but obviously her pain ran deeper than she let on.

"Not knowing what the future holds, being unsure of yourself, that's just all a part of growing up, becoming an adult. Everyone faces it, even those who seem like they have it all together. You will find your way, Hermione. I promise. You will find your purpose and your place, just give yourself time," he said.

"You have seen the very worst of humanity and all before the age of eighteen. There is so much more to life than pain and tragedy. There's so much joy in life, it's all around you in fact. I promise you, you'll have happiness again."

He closed the distance between them and took her small warm hand in his own and held it, his touch tender and soothing. She couldn't bear to pull her hand away.

She gave him a small smile and said, "You can't promise that. No one can. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I'm not your responsibility. I'll be 20 in a few weeks and you have enough to worry about without having to coddle me."

Remus squeezed her hand and held her gaze as he spoke, "I know you don't need me to worry, but I worry all the same, Hermione. You're my friend and I ...", he paused a moment to choose his words carefully. "I care for you and I can't in good conscious let you go on believing that the world is a horrid place. I have to know that you believe things will get better. Healing just takes time. We'll get past all this and one day we'll know peace. That much I can promise."

As he spoke, her beautiful brown eyes filled with tears that spilled over. She lowered her head and let them fall, not being able to look at him as he spoke such kind words to her. He gently lifted her chin and wiped away her tears with his thumb. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, relishing the touch of her soft skin and the subtle, sweet scent of her golden brown hair.

As he pulled away he saw her smiling faintly and he softly said, "Now come on, tomorrow is going to go swimmingly for the both of us, but first we must get some sleep. Come on now, off bed with you."

He stood, gently grasped her hands and pulled her to her feet. As he did, she wrapped her arms tightly around him and held him there. He felt so warm and strong, his body, his kind words, even his old comfy socks, were a reassurance against all the darkness. She looked up at him with wet eyes and said "Thank you, for everything.'

He smiled down at her sweet face and tightened his hold around her delicate shoulders. Much to his chagrin, he don't want to let go.

"You're welcome. Just remember what I said, everything is going to turn out. You'll see. We're going to be just fine."

She breathed in his sweet scent and felt the steady rise and fall of his chest against her cheek and hoped that her dear friend was right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: still not my characters, all belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

Once the sorting hat had sung its song and performed its only task for the year, Headmistress McGonagall stood and addressed the Great Hall.

"Welcome, my dear students, to Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Your fellow professors and I are happy to see so many returning students and many new faces, too. This castle has seen unspeakable tragedy in this past year and through the loss and bravery of so many, we are able to be here today. Always remember that. Your education and freedom have been hard-won and should never be taken for granted, it is indeed a privilege to be here. Try and do your very best to always deserve it. Remember also that no matter which house you may have been sorted into, we all are united as one. May we please have a moment of silence for all the members of the Light who gave their lives so selflessly so that we may be here today."

And with that, the Great Hall's ceiling changed from the customary twinkling night sky to a pitch black expanse as the names of every student, faculty and order member who had fallen during the war slowly became etched in the air in pure white writing.

With each name that appeared, a floating candle extinguished until finally the hall was as dark as night, lit only by the fluttering, white, glowing names above them. Students held hands or silently wept, feeling the weight of that sacrifice given.

As the name 'Nymphadora Tonks' appeared above, Hermione glanced up to see Remus swallow hard and wipe a tear away. She ached for him, wished she could walk up to the Head Table and hold him, but such a display would surely be misunderstood.

As Remus lifted his head, she saw Professor Snape discreetly offer Remus a handkerchief. Hermione could see the surprise and gratitude in Lupin's eyes and Lupin gave a slight nod of thanks to his old classmate. Professor Snape only offered a slight nod back and resumed his stoic glare at the students.

War, she thought, has a way of changing people. And by that simple gesture between old enemies, it would seem that things had indeed changed.

Seeing name after name of friends she knew, her chest ached with loss. She finally bowed her head as the name 'Albus Dumbledore' appeared and she had to stifle a sob as it hit her just how much light the world had lost when Albus finally left this castle.

So much had changed. Being here without Harry and Ron, losing dear friends, she felt momentarily adrift, alone in a cold, new, different world. A world in which she wasn't sure if she belonged anymore.

After several minutes of quiet reflection, Professor Mcgonagall stood again and the warm candlelight was gradually restored. Even though the battle and ensuing months of hard work rebuilding the castle had taken a toll on the aging lioness, Professor McGonagall still stood tall and fierce, every bit a proud and brave Gryffindor.

"On a brighter note, I would like to welcome back Professor Remus Lupin who will once again be serving as our Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher. I'm sure you will all enjoy his classes thoroughly."

At this, Remus stood briefly and gave a warm smile to the crowd of applauding students and locked eyes with Hermione who beamed back at him.

"I'm also sad to report that Professor Binns has retired and the post of History of Magic will be filled by Professor Antigone Clemens. She joins us from the Beauxbaton Academy and I'm sure we all will do our very best to welcome her."

This new professor was, quite simply put, absolutely stunning.

No doubt the newcomer was part Veela, for she was tall and graceful, with crystal blue eyes and perfectly straight blonde hair that hung elegantly to her slim waist. Dressed in silk lavender robes and seated happily next to Remus, Professor Clemens merely smiled and gave a slight wave to the crowd, much the same way a queen would wave to her subjects. Many of the male students and not a few of the male faculty openly looked upon her in amazement.

"Finally, I am very pleased to announce that this year's Head Boy & Girl posts will be filled by Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger."

Draco stood from the head of the Slytherin table, while Hermione stood proudly with her Gryffindors. Both were greeted with warm, enthusiastic applause from both students and teachers alike, with most of the new first years staring at Hermione with gaping mouths and obvious admiration. It wasn't every day they got to meet a war hero.

Hermione blushed at the attention and smiled warmly at her fellow students. Remus beamed at her and couldn't help but notice what a stunning woman she had grown up to be. She deserved all this praise and much more.

"Please enjoy the feast and once again, welcome to Hogwarts'," said a delighted McGonagall.

As the sumptuous feast appeared and people began eating and chatting, the mood gradually lifted and by the end of the night, students were again in high spirits.

All except for Hermione.

She would occasionally look up to Remus and noticed that Professor Clemens seemed to be monopolizing a good bit of his time. Although Filch, Hagrid, Flitwick and even Hooch tried to pry Professor Clemens attention away from Remus, she seemed to only have eyes for the wolf. Even Nearly Headless Nick tried to engage her in a conversation on the Goblin Rebellions of 1465 but to no avail. Several times she noticed the gorgeous blonde laugh at something Remus had said and throw her head back in laughter and stroke his arm. This bothered Hermione far more than she cared to admit.

Thankfully her foul mood went unnoticed as she sat next to Ginny, who hadn't drawn a single breath all evening, for she talked non-stop.

"I just can't even begin to tell you how much I miss Harry...and Ron too, of course. They're both just so lucky to get to skip this last year and start right to work training as aurors. I can't believe you didn't take the Minister's offer, too! You're a thousand times smarter than anyone here, why even come back when you had your pick of jobs?", Ginny asked.

"Well, I couldn't see just walking away from Hogwarts' without finishing my degree," said Hermione.

"I worked too hard to throw it all away. Jobs will still be there when I graduate, but being here is something I needed right now, for myself, you know? This year I can study as much as I want and live in the library if it pleases me. Besides serving as Head Girl, I have no responsibilities to anyone and that kind of feels incredible."

She didn't want to admit to Ginny that deep down, Hermione wasn't sure of anything, anymore. She didn't fit in the muggle world, but also felt listless and unsure of herself in the wizarding world. If she were being completely honest, Hogwarts' was the only true home she had ever known. She had returned simply because it was the easiest choice, if happiness and purpose were to be found, certainly Hermione would find it here.

Ginny knew better than anyone how much Hermione had given away over the years to help keep Harry and Ron safe and fight for the Light, saving so little for herself. Ginny couldn't begrudge her friend this feeling of freedom, this moment of self exploration, for she knew how much it meant to Hermione.

"So you're saying you're not going to have any time for me?", Ginny said with a smirk.

"Oh, please, you're captain of the quidditch team this year! You think you won't be busy?", said Hermione.

"Oh, never too busy for you, Miss Granger," said Ginny as she stood and bowed deeply for a giggling Hermione.

Hermione stood and followed Ginny out of the Great Hall but glanced back at the Head Table one last time before reaching the doors. As she did, she saw Remus look up and smile warmly at her with his beautiful grey eyes, the heat of it made her blush and she quickly looked away.

Since it was still an hour till curfew, Ginny accompanied Hermione to her Head Girl suite to see if its rumored opulence was indeed true.

As they recited the pass word to get into the Head Girl & Boy's suite, the portrait swung open to reveal a common room as large as Gryffindor's and twice as luxurious. A huge fireplace was against the far wall and each side of the room was flanked with twin mahaghony desks, leather wingback chairs, two plush sofas, bronze lamps and walls of bookshelves. Two separate marble staircases lead up to their private suites. The room was truly magnificent and there in the center of it sat Draco Malfoy.

"Hello, Granger. Looks like we'll be shacking up together this year," he said with a smirk.

"Indeed, Draco. It is in fact the whole reason I took this gig, just to be close to you." She gave him a dirty look but also crossed the room and gave him a warm hug.

Things had changed quite a bit in the last year.

Although no one expected Draco to have even an ounce of decency in him, he had actually turned out to be a good man. His parents of course disowned him for siding with the Light and aiding Harry in the final battle but leaving the stifling confines of Malfoy Manor seemed to have done him the world of good.

Draco turned his attention to Ginny. "Miss Weasley, a pleasure as always." This time though, he slightly bowed toward the young girl and gave her a genuine smile. And Ginny replied in kind.

With no place to go, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had graciously taken Draco in and they had become quite like a second family to him.

With Lucius rotting in Azkaban and Narcissa still busy ingratiating herself amongst only the purest of families, Draco had been cast out and was totally alone in the world, something Hermione could easily understand.

He had stayed at the castle at first, working tirelessly alongside Hermione, Neville, Ginny, Luna, Harry & Ron to restore the school to its former glory. Getting to see him work so hard restoring the castle and give of himself so selflessly, Hermione found a new respect for Draco, and against all odds, they quickly became good friends.

Once the repairs were mostly complete, the Weasleys insisted he stay at the Burrow, for which Draco was truly thankful.

Growing up an only child in a pure blood family had been lonely and somber. Living amongst the Weasleys, with all their children and noise and laughter and bickering had been a comfort he never knew he missed and desperately needed. Draco owed them an enormous debt for showing him the kind of love and acceptance that no one had ever bestowed upon him. He was even on friendly terms with Harry and Ron. Headmistress McGonagall had convinced him to return for his last year and appointed him Head Boy for his dedication and service to the Light.

Yes, Draco Malfoy was a changed man.

"Well, this place is every bit as impressive as I thought it would be. Sure am glad I scored this suite, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered coming back," he said with a grin.

"So, what did you get up to this summer, Granger? A bit of reading and relaxing or a bit of reclining with Ron?", he said while wagging his eyebrows rather suggestively.

"No, Draco, if you must know Ron and I never really went out. We tried going out on a date after things had settled but it was just a complete disaster," said an embarrassed Hermione.

They had gone to the Three Broomsticks and the date had involved quidditch talk and Ron openly basking in people recognizing him and asking for his autograph. As the youngest Weasley male, he absolutely adored all the attention and limelight and that was defiantly something Hermione could live without.

"Yeah, Ron mentioned it didn't go so smoothly. Just thought you guys might've given it another go. I guess everyone just assumed you'd end up together," said Draco.

"Yes, so did I," said Hermione. "But honestly, it's for the best. He's happy with his new girlfriend. She's an auror named Claudia and she adores quidditch. I think he'll be much better off," she said with a smile.

But inside, it still stung to talk about Ron. She truly did think they'd end up together, even though the passion was non-existent between them. The kiss at the final battle had been exciting but that had come purely from the fear of the confrontation. The only other time they had kissed, they ended up bumping each other's teeth and fumbling around awkwardly. Both agreed that friendship was the better path. Still, having someone to call her own would've been nice.

"Well, don't you worry, Granger. I'll get you laid this year if it's the last thing I do," said Draco with a saucy wink.

"Thank you for that lovely offer, Draco, but I think I'll pass," said an amused Hermione. "I'm actually not looking to get laid. I'd rather have someone to talk to."

"Aw, don't be such a prude, Granger! Everyone wants to get laid, you just happen to have higher standards than most," he said.

"Not to worry, I'll dig you up a few candidates and we'll find you a lovely, scholarly gentleman who also happens to be a sex god," he said.

At this, Ginny burst out laughing. "Oh, please, let Draco do this for you! I would love to see who he finds for you."

"Absolutely not," said Hermione, scowling. "You'll find me someone terrible! I'd be better off having Filch be my matchmaker!"

Looking her square in the eye, Draco said, "Trust me, Granger, I'll find you the one."

"Oh, fine," she said. "Do your worst."

As she sat and chatted with her two friends, the exhaustion of the day began to set in and Hermione decided to call it an early night.

"I'm tired Ginny, I'm off to bed. I'll see you at breakfast."

She gave Ginny a quick hug and watched her leave through the portrait hole. She turned on her heel, bid a goodnight to Draco and headed up the stairs to find her new room. But as Hermione climbed the stairs to her suite, her feelings from dinner bubbled to the surface again and sleep quickly became the last thing on her mind.

Why was that new professor being so chummy with Remus and why was he being so charming back?

Obviously Remus was interested in her, just like every other male in the damn castle seemed to be. And why shouldn't they, she was gorgeous. Every inch of her exuded a sensuality, a confidence that came from years of being the most beautiful creature in every room she stepped in to. She was the type of woman who had men falling all over themselves to please her, she surely had her pick of lovely suitors. Hermione, with her frizzy hair and knobby knees was no match for this new vixen.

Hermione felt flushed with embarrassment when she thought of how she behaved the previous night. Bothering Remus, letting him rub her feet and be turned on by it. A man had never touched her like that, so intimately and with such tenderness, she had thought he might have enjoyed it as much as she had.

But clearly she had been wrong. How foolish she had felt and behaved.

Remus Lupin would no sooner fancy her than he would the Bloody Baron. She had acted like such a fawning school girl and Remus was just trying to be polite. She had read way too much into his kindness, as usual. What a fool she was.

Her sense of self worth was dropping by the second, now she really did just want to pass out and end this wretched day. But as she reached the top of the staircase and opened the door to her suite, she found not only her trunk and Crookshanks but also a present sitting right atop her four-poster bed. It was a beautiful golden box, wrapped with a large crimson bow and attached to it was a hand-written note. She sat down on her bed, wondering with a small smile just what the box contained as she pulled the note free to see who had sent it.

 _Dear Hermione,_

 _Never forget just how amazing you are. You deserve every imaginable happiness and I hope this year is nothing short of extraordinary for you. Enclosed are a few treats to enjoy as you celebrate your first night as Head Girl. Know that I am incredibly proud of you and I'm always here when you need me._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Remus_

Inside the box was a massive amount of exceptional Belgium chocolate in every flavor and variety possible. It must have cost Remus a small fortune. She pulled out a salted caramel truffle, unwrapped it, took a bite and let out a contented sigh. He always seemed to know just what she needed, his thoughtfulness and kind heart were such a gift.

She didn't know if she truly deserved him, didn't know if he would ever be hers to have, but as she lay her head back on her bed, savoring the last whisper of chocolate that played across her lips, she certainly was grateful for him. Immensely so. As she closed her eyes, picturing his warm arms wrapped tightly around her, she fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

The first day of class dawned foggy and gray, but the weather couldn't dampen Remus' spirits. Today would be his first day teaching in over four years and he was eager to begin. Remus felt truly at home in front of a classroom and he was grateful to be given a second chance at doing what he loved most.

As he entered the Great Hall he was greeted by precious few, given the early hour. Up at the staff table sat a smiling Professor McGonagall, sipping tea and reading through her mail and a smirking Severus Snape. Remus sat next to his former classmate and offered him back his handkerchief.

"Good morning, Severus. Thank you for this last night, I appreciate your kind gesture."

"Think nothing of it, Lupin," said Snape with a dismissive wave of his hand. He pocketed the handkerchief and returned to his _Daily Prophet._

But the handkerchief had meant something to Remus. Severus had shown him many acts of kindness over the past few years including faithfully brewing his Wolfsbane potion every month, which was a god-send during his painful transformations. Remus also found out from Professor McGonagall that Severus had declined the DADA position for this year and had instead recommended Remus for the job. Remus was truly grateful for all that Severus had done for him. And perhaps now was the time to show it.

Remus filled his bowl with porridge and kindly asked, "So, Severus, are you all ready for classes to begin?"

"Indeed, Lupin. Teaching dunderheads how to avoid blowing themselves up is both an honor and a privilege. I simply can't wait." Severus returned to his paper with a sneer but Remus pressed on.

"Now, now, Severus. With talk like that, you'd have people thinking you don't enjoy the students," said Remus with a grin.

"Lupin, I know teaching an odd year here and there has given you the mistaken the impression that we now somehow share some common bond, but let me assure, we do not. Teach for as long as I have and then we can talk."

Feeling properly chastised, Remus decided he should probably forego conversation with the potions master. "You are indeed correct, Severus. My apologies."

Severus blew an exasperated sigh and shot Remus a look of pity.

"It's fine, Lupin. We simply don't have to talk shop all the time is all," he offered, folding his newspaper and setting it aside.

"I'd much rather talk about all the female attention you've garnered since your arrival just yesterday," Severus said with a mischievous smirk.

Remus stopped with his spoon in mid-air and looked quizzically at Severus. "And what 'female attention' might that be? Profesor Sprout?", he said with a smile.

"Ah, I see. You can play the fool all you like, but it simply doesn't suit you. I am of course referring to Professor Clemens and the rather exceptional level of attention she bestowed upon you last night at dinner."

"She's new here and was seated right next to me. She was just being polite, as was I. I was trying to make her feel welcome. I know how it feels to be new."

"She seemed far more interested in welcoming you into her quarters, I'd watch out for that one if I were you, Lupin. She seems quite taken with you. But I wouldn't worry, she'll get to know you a bit and decide you're quite the wet blanket and move onto a more lively catch, like Flitwick."

At this moment, Flitwick entered the hall and blew his noise rather loudly into a worn handkerchief.

Lupin chuckled at the sight. "Yes, I'm sure you're right, Severus."

"Besides, Clemens isn't the only one who was watching you intently last night. Miss Granger seemed quite interested in the Head Table, glanced up here frequently, not that you would've noticed given your one-man-welcome routine. She seemed upset, too. Tell me, Lupin, what kind of love potion have you slipped into the drinking water? Should I worry about Hooch tackling you in the hallway? Or Poppy tying you up to a hospital bed so she can have her way with you? We can't have all the women losing their minds over you. What will Filch and I do?" Severus asked casually, sipping his tea with a smirk.

"Believe me, Severus, there is nothing untoward going on with Miss Granger. She along with Ron and Harry stayed with me this summer. We are dear friends, nothing more. I doubt even the strongest love potion could change that."

"Change her or change you?", asked Snape as his curiosity was peaked.

Remus wasn't sure why he had said it. Last night after leaving the feast and a disappointed Clemens, he walked slowly back to his room alone and thoughts of Hermione came to him, unbidden. Just thinking of her made him smile as a warmth spread through his chest, like sipping hot chocolate after a walk in the snow.

When McGonagall announced her as Head Girl, Hermione had stood and was met with thunderous applause. The look of awe and amazement on the faces of her fellow students and faculty was a sight to behold. This amazing woman was braver and stronger than anyone had ever given her proper credit for and she was finally getting her just due. She smiled warmly and looked around the room and as she locked eyes with Remus, he felt a jolt of lightning surge through him. She was not only a war hero and the brightest witch of her age but she was also a beautiful, elegant woman. No longer a young girl, she had blossomed into a stunning beauty.

As dinner went on, he did his best to be polite to Antigone but honestly he wasn't interested at all. Someone else had already captured his attention.

"I would love to have a tour of the grounds sometime when you are free," Antigone had said as she rested her hand on his arm and held his gaze with her dazzling eyes.

"Certainly," said Remus, "But my knowledge of the castle pales in comparison to Severus. And I'm sure he would love to show you around." At this, Severus shot a murderous glare at Remus, the wolf beat a hasty retreat.

He had indeed stolen glances at Hermione all night but he was discreet, he couldn't afford to have anyone notice him staring longingly at a student. His feelings were just something he would have to keep to himself, and that was something he had immense practice at.

"Really, Severus, do you think so little of me that I would moon over a student? Even I have some sense of decency," he finally answered.

"I was merely commenting on what I noticed. I was a spy for 20 years, what can I say? Old habits die hard. Just be careful, Lupin. I'd hate to see you lose this job before you even get started."

This made Remus pause. "I hope you don't find me impertinent for asking, Severus, but I'm genuinely curious; why would you care what happens to me?"

Severus looked out across the hall and thought for a moment before answering. "Perhaps I'm getting soft in my old age or perhaps I'm simply tired of fighting. I've spent too long holding petty grudges, surely we can behave as grown men do and let old grievances rest. The war is over, why keep fighting?"

Remus was taken aback by his honesty. He had never bore Severus the ill-will that the other Marauders had, he had in fact hated fighting someone who he knew had suffered such a hard life. The two men were far more alike than either had ever cared to admit. So how could he in good conscious ignore this olive branch.

"I couldn't agree more. Thank you for being so gracious. Since I'll be here for the foreseeable future, I would like to be friends," said Remus.

At this, Snape pulled his familiar smirk and said, "Calm yourself, Remus. No more declarations of love, we're not dating. If you're going to become mawkish, I'll be forced to hex you."

He gathered his papers and headed off to class but before he did he leaned down so only Remus could hear and said, "Friendship could be agreeable, that is granted, that you tell no one. I wouldn't want my Slytherins to think that hell has frozen over."

Remus smirked at this and watched Severus sweep out of the Great Hall but not before he deducted 10 house points from a first-year Hufflepuff for giggling too loudly. Some things had certainly changed but others would always remain the same, and to Remus, that was indeed a comfort.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: all familiar characters and setting belong to J.K. Rowling. This is just my story.**

 **A/N: Just wanted to say a big 'thank you' to everyone who has stopped by for a read, left a review and followed the story. Your interest and encouragement means a lot. This is another Remus chapter, but fear not, the next one is all Hermione.**

Remus arrived a full 15 minutes early for his first class, NEWT-level defense which included Draco, Ginny and Hermione, along with thirteen other seventh-years.

He had waited at breakfast to see Hermione, kept scanning the hall for her unmistakable curly hair, but for some reason, she hadn't shown up. Casting a quick _Tempus_ , he saw the late time and he knew he had been silly for sitting there so long, hoping to see her. What a soppy school-boy he had reverted to, waiting for his crush at breakfast. He shook his head at his foolishness.

As he walked to his class, he worried that she might have fallen ill, but as he rounded the corner to his classroom he saw her and a huge smile spread across his face. She looked refreshed, more rested than he had seen her in months. Unruly curls, armful of books and an eager, excited face; this was the Hermione he knew so well.

"Good morning, Hermione. You look well, I trust you had a good night's sleep," he inquired, as he held the door open for her.

"I did indeed, thank you, Professor," she shyly admitted, walking into the quiet, empty classroom.

"Please, you know you can call me Remus when we're not in class. Not everything has changed," he said with a warm smile.

Truthfully, it was a courtesy he extended all his older students, but he especially liked hearing her say his name. The way her mouth curled around it and it floated so sweetly off her lips. He could listen to her say it all day.

"Thank you, Remus," she said tucking a stray curl behind her ear and looking down to her shoes. "I will."

"Remus...I know you need to get settled in before class begins but I just wanted to thank you for the chocolates," she said placing a warm hand on his arm in the exact place Antigione had the night before.

Rather than feeling awkward though as it had with the other professor, this only felt warm and right, as a shiver of anticipation shot through his body.

"It was such a lovely thing to do. You're so thoughtful, as always. They are exquisite and you bought me way too much, I wish you hadn't gone to so much trouble."

"Nonsense," he said, basking in her glow like a child relishing the first days of sunshine after a long winter.

"I wanted to get you something I knew you would enjoy. Besides, it's not like I have many people to spoil, it makes me happy to know I can please you."

The smile that broke across her face was heartbreakingly beautifull. He wanted to spoil her in so many ways, but had to settle for giving her chocolates.

"Yes," she blushed. "You've always known how to please me," she said, her eyes boldly holding his in a heated gaze.

At this, he stared deeply into her eyes and stepped forward instinctively to be closer to her and gently took her hand in his. The feeling of her fingers wrapped in his made his pulse quicken and his stomach clench. He swallowed at the nerves that were suddenly rising in his chest from being so close to her.

"It's my pleasure. I love seeing you happy," he said softly.

He was so very close and she wanted to take his lips, feel his hands all over her body, for she somehow knew that was the only thing that would make this dull ache deep within her go away.

As she leaned slightly forward to capture those lips, her own face mere inches from his, they suddenly heard laughter from the hallway. This noise brought them both back to reality as their heads jerked towards the door. And realizing how close they were standing, they both took a quick step back. Too quick, in fact, for Remus slammed into his podium and Hermione bumped into a desk.

Blushing furiously, Hermione turned on her heel and found a desk in the middle of the room while Remus began pulling out books and papers without any rhyme or reason. He stared at his desk, hands gripping the edge, fighting to find the composure he had just a few minutes before. _Where had it gone? Oh yes, of course, it had disappeared into her deep cinnamon eyes_ , he thought ruefully.

At this moment, Draco and Ginny came strolling in with a few others. Ginny seated herself next to Hermione and looked at her with concern.

"Are you alright, Hermione? You skipped breakfast and you're all flushed! Do you feel ill?"

Just like Molly would have done, Ginny placed a hand on Hermione's forehead to check for a temperature. "You do feel warm, do you want to go see Madam Pomfrey?"

"Oh no, I'm fine, I just overslept and had to run to get here," she lied.

Ginny nodded sympathetically while Draco eyed her suspiciously.

"Yeah right, Granger, you were probably snogging some lad senseless in the hallway," he said with a saucy smile.

Hermione then blushed furiously at this and ducked her head behind a curtain of unruly curls to hide her embarrassment.

 _Snogging senseless...if only,_ she thought sadly.

Remus chose this moment to clear his throat and said, "Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Now I know you all have your NEWTs on your mind, as well you should. I promise to do my level-best to prepare you for them. But I want to emphasize that this class will have a significant hands-on, practical component. This is your last year here at school, as such I hope to make this class as challenging and enjoyable as possible. As you all have experienced first handed, defense is an incredibly important skill to have mastered. Knowing it's practical applications is far more important than any score you'll receive on some test. Grades aren't everything, after all. So with that in mind, let's really challenge ourselves this year and learn as much as we can."

And with that, Remus was off to the races. With an exuberance she hadn't seen in the classroom in many years, Remus had them paired off and practicing protection shields while their partners flung hexes. As everyone's proficiency increased, Remus had them up their speed by throwing faster, more complicated hexes. Everyone was casting very effective protection shields that were holding up against even the best hexes. By the end of the lesson, every student was sweaty and breathless from the exertion and also exhilarated. With proud smiles, students filed out of class, thanking Professor Lupin for the excellent lesson. Watching Remus smile and thank students, Hermione felt so proud of him. He looked so genuine happy, so free of the troubles of his past. He looked like a man reborn.

The lesson had indeed been invigorating for Remus. He knew he loved teaching but had forgotten just how amazing it could feel when everything came together in the classroom. The students had been focused and tried their very best, he was so proud of them all.

As the last student filed out, he turned from the door to see Hermione gathering her things. They locked eyes and he smiled at her. Their talk before class had been too much, it had cut too close to the bone. He simply couldn't trust himself to be alone around her. As she walked towards him near the door, he froze, finding himself rooted to the floor. If he just stood perfectly still, then nothing would happen. He could look, but not touch.

"I'm sorry about earlier, if I did something to upset you," she said rather sheepishly.

"Don't be silly, you've done nothing wrong," he said, deciding that the best course of action was to ignore what had happened and move on. No point in focusing on it, he would only embarrass himself and make her feel awkward.

"Did you enjoy class?", he asked looking for a change of subject.

"Very much, I think we all did. It was the best defense class I've had since the last time you were here."

This made him smile. "Thank you for that, you're being too kind."

"I could never be kind enough to you, Remus." With that she turned to walk out and paused at the door, "Thank you again for the chocolate. I look forward to enjoying it."

"You're welcome," he said softly.

She left and closed the door. He stood there a moment gathering his scattered thoughts and taking a deep breath. He could still smell her scent, like almonds and honey. The classroom suddenly felt so very empty. He was brought out of his thoughts by the classroom door opening. As he turned to see who had entered he momentarily hoped it would be Hermione returning to him. He was immediately disappointed to see Professor McGonagall.

"Good morning, Headmistress. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?", quickly recovering from his disappointment.

"Good morning, Remus. Please, call me Minerva."

"Very well then. What can I do for you, Minerva?"

"I didn't get a chance to speak with you last night at the feast nor this morning at breakfast, and I just wanted to check and see how you were settling in?"

"Very well, thank you. I just had an exceptional class with my NEWT students. Excellent group this year, they should all do very well."

"I'm glad to hear it. And your getting along well with the other professors?"

"Indeed, Severus and I had a lovely chat this morning and Antigione seems...quite friendly as well."

"Yes, that I noticed," she said with a wry smile. "And the students? All behaving?"

"Oh, yes," he said. "No problems there, all good kids." _Some even quite exceptional,_ he thought to himself.

"Good. You know Remus, I've always thought you were an excellent instructor and I'm so glad you returned this year. Severus and I have the utmost confidence in your abilities. I mention this because I want you to know how much potential I see you in. You've always been thoughtful, level-headed and an excellent role-model for the students. I foresee a long, productive future for you here. With this in mind, I'd like to offer you the position of Head of Gryffindor House."

Remus was speechless.

With his lycanthrope, he always felt like he was on the outside of life, looking in. Today had proven just how much of that had changed. With Severus, with his class and now with Minerva, he felt a sudden feeling of peace at the thought that he had a place here at Hogwarts. A genuine place that he had earned, not given to him out of pity. The sense of honor and pride he felt swell in his chest were so rare, so foreign, he almost didn't recognize them.

Still slightly choked up, he said, "Minerva, it would be my great privilege to serve as head of Gryffindor. I am truly honored. I will do everything in my powers to serve you and the students. I won't let you down."

"I have every confidence in you Remus. You've never disappointed me before and I'm sure you won't start now. Just remember, the students come first. Their needs above our own, always."

"Of course," he said. "Thank you again, Minerva."

"Certainly," she said with a warm smile. "It will be announced tonight at dinner. Till then Remus, good day," she said and left.

His head was spinning with complicated emotions. Pride, excitement, disbelief.

And then he thought of Hermione, and Minerva's words echoed through his mind: _The students come first. Their needs above our own, always._ He swallowed at the thought. Wanting her, lusting after her was a selfish desire, one he could no longer afford. His House and students deserved his full attention and commitment and he would give it to them. He simply had to find a way to put the lovely Miss Granger out of his mind. He just wasn't sure how in the world he was going to do it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: all familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

The first day had proven truly exhausting and as Hermione sat down with Ginny for dinner, she realized she really just wanted to go to bed.

The double charms class was draining and even though her defense class had been amazing, her run-in with Remus had proven to be more than a bit awkward. Their near kiss had left Hermione shaken and upset with herself. She couldn't seem to stop thinking about him and what was worse, she couldn't seem to control herself around him either. Her cheeks stung with embarrassment.

How he had jerked away from her as she leaned in to kiss him, how he hung back from her as she left his classroom. Poor man was probably scared shitless at the thought of this gangly teenager lunging at him.

Ugh, what a prat she had been. It simply couldn't happen again. She wouldn't allow it.

She'd keep her distance, be polite and forget anything had ever happened. But as she glanced at the head table and saw how he smiled and chatted with Profesor Snape, her heart melted at the sight of him. This was going to be hard.

As Ginny sat bitterly complaining about Harry's busy training schedule and the lack of good quidditch players available for the house team this year, Professor McGonagall stood from the head table and tapped her glass for silence.

"I have two short announcements this evening. First off, it is with great pride that I am able to announce that Professor Remus Lupin will be taking my former position as Head of Gryffindor House."

At this, the Great Hall broke out into thunderous applause. The entire Gryffindor table burst from their seats and cheered with wild abandon. Hermione stood and clapped and shouted with her fellow friends. All of Hufflepuff stood, as did Ravenclaw and as Draco Malfoy stood to offer his warm praise, the rest of Slytherin rose and cheered as well, albeit a bit less enthusiastically.

Remus stood and smiled a wide, easy grin. He blushed slightly and looked a bit embarrassed by all the attention but Hermione knew he was touched and honored not only by the new position but by the warm applause. Snape stood then, right next to Remus, patted him on the back and shook his hand. This made many a Slytherin and Gryffindor look around at each other in confusion and surprise. Hell had indeed frozen over.

Remus approached the podium to address the hall.

"I would just like to thank Professor McGonagall for this opportunity. I truly am honored to be serving the noble House of Gryffindor. I hope to serve faithfully for many years to come as we all work toward building new ties and friendships, especially across houses. To the students in my house, in particular, I hope you know you can always count on me to help in any way I can. I truly am here to serve you." His eyes locked on Hermione's as he said this. "Thank you all again for your support."

Remus returned to his seat to more applause and yells from the Gryffindor table, while a smiling Professor McGonagall returned to the podium.

"Lastly, I am very pleased to announce that we will be holding a formal Halloween Ball this year. For many years, this ball had been a long-held tradition and until recently, had occurred annually. This year seems like the perfect time to reinstate such a wonderful celebration. The weekend leading up to the ball will include a free day in Hogsmeade so that students may shop and prepare. That is all for now, thank you for your attention, please enjoy your dinner."

With that, loud talking broke out across the hall. Girls giggled excitedly over dress colors and hairstyles and boys quietly conferenced with each other over who they could convince to go as their dates.

Remus smiled as he quietly watched Hermione as she laughed and talked to Ginny. How excited she must be, he wondered who would ask her out, whomever it was, was certainly a lucky man. And no sooner had this thought crossed his mind, than Draco Malfoy stood and walked towards the Gryffindor table, and sat down right across from Hermione.

Conversation around the hall all but stopped. Slytherins never sat with Gryffindors. Sitting at another house's table wasn't forbidden, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs frequently did it. But a Slytherin at the Gryffindor table, or vice versa, was unheard of.

As Draco settled into his seat, he noticed the silence his bold move had created and turned to face the hall with a look of annoyed defiance. Most students took this sneer from the Head Boy as all the explanation they needed and returned to their own planning. And those still bold enough to be staring were brought out of their revere by a not-so-gentle cough from Professor McGonagall.

"Um, Draco," said a thoroughly confused Hermione. Could this day get any stranger? She highly doubted it.

"You do know you're at the wrong table, right?", said Hermione.

"No, Granger, I must've taken a wrong turn on my way to the loo. Where ever have the urinals disappeared to?", said a slightly annoyed Draco.

"Very funny," she chuckled. "But seriously, I don't think a Slytherin has ever sat at our table. To what do we owe this distinct pleasure?"

"You heard what old Wolfie up there said. We need more inter-house cooperation, I thought I could sit with you two sometimes, the others see us doing it, maybe more will follow suit. Besides if Snape and Lupin can become friends than anything is possible," Draco said as he filled an empty plate with roasted potatoes and rolls.

"Also with this ball coming up next month, I thought now was a splendid time to start Operation G.G.L.," he said with an air of seriousness.

"What in the hell is G.G.L.?", Hermione asked.

"Get. Granger. Laid.", he answered evenly while grabbing a chicken leg.

"You can't be serious. I thought you were just screwing around," she said.

"Not at all, Granger. I'm dead serious. The only one who will be screwing around is you. Now tell me," he said, licking his fingers clean as he pulled out a quill and scrap of parchment from his pocket, "what would you consider to be your ideal man?"

Remus sat watching the happy exchange. The sudden sensation of anger and jealousy coursing through him. He wrung his linen napkin in his lap, his dinner now abandoned as his appetite disappeared. This abrupt change in demeanor was not lost on Severus, as he simply observed his friend out of the corner of his eye.

"You're really serious? You're going to find me a date?", asked an incredulous Hermione.

"Indeed, I will not rest until you are fully satisfied," he said with a wink and a smirk.

"Go on then, tell him what you like, see if he can work his magic," said a thoroughly amused Ginny.

Hermione blew an exasperated sigh as she pushed her half-eaten dinner away.

"I don't know, I guess I like what every heterosexual female likes. Tall, handsome, kind, smart, sweet, romantic, dedicated, passionate, well-read, brave, considerate...", she rattled on.

"Whoa there, Granger, that's a hell of a lot more than most women want, at least a lot more than most will settle for. Based on that alone, you've nixed about two-thirds of the available males. You're quite particular, aren't you?", said Draco.

"She isn't particular, Draco. She simply knows what she wants and doesn't feel like settling. Every girl deserves a decent man, not just someone to snog," said a suddenly sincere Ginny, staring intently at Draco.

"So, if you're going to do this, then do it right. No half-ass attempts here. This is Hermione Granger, brilliant war hero, so no wankers need apply. She deserves the best. You said you could make this happen, are you admitting defeat already? Is this going to be too hard for you?", said a teasing Ginny.

Malfoy stared back at Ginny with a look mixed with amusement and something else that Hermione couldn't put her finger on.

Finally he spoke, "A Malfoy never backs down from a challenge, Miss Weasley. Actually...on second thought, plenty of Malfoys have been cowardly bastards and have no doubt backed down from many a challenge. No matter. This Malfoy won't. Don't you worry Granger, you're in good hands. I'll narrow down the applicant pool and get you a list by the end of this week," he said with a wink.

He stood from his spot and returned to his house table, pocketing the list as he went. "I'll catch you at 10 for rounds, Granger," he called over his shoulder. "Don't be late," he said with a smile as he walked away.

"He's such a prat," Ginny said with quite a bit of warm affection in her voice as she watched him saunter away. Hermione couldn't help but notice Ginny's eyes lingered on his retreating form a bit longer than was strictly necessary.

"No, he's being very sweet, but honestly he's wasting his time. Doesn't he know that there is no man here who would want to take me to the ball let alone touch me," said a suddenly quiet Hermione.

Ginny gave her a questioning look, "Don't be so hard on yourself, you're beautiful, any guy here would be damn lucky to take you to that ball. And besides, Draco is a good man, he'll find you a great guy."

Hermione didn't have the heart to tell her sweet friend that she had already found the perfect man, he unfortunately wasn't interested.

Little did she know though, at that very moment, her perfect man had just watched her entire exchange with Draco and had come to the same unfortunate conclusion about his chances with her.

XXXXXXXX

After dinner, Ginny and Hermione worked on homework in the Gryffindor common room until 10 when Hermione met Draco for their nightly rounds of the castle.

It felt so strange walking the halls after curfew without fear of being caught. They were now the footsteps that others would fear. That they were the enforcers of a rule that Hermione had frequently broken herself over the years, was truly comical.

At first they walked the halls together but soon decided to split up, so that they could cover more ground and get this finished more quickly. As Hermione walked past the second floor corridors, she heard hushed talking and turned a corner to see Remus walking a seemingly tipsy Professor Clemens back to her quarters. She quickly ducked behind a suit of bronze armor to remain out of sight and hopefully avoid the two. She caught snippets of their conversation as they walked closer towards her.

"Oh, Remus, you're hysterical!", Antigone laughed. "I just knew you'd have a wicked sense of humor," she said as she draped herself all over him.

The sight disgusted Hermione. _Lucky witch,_ Hermione thought ruefully. _Pretty girls always get the guy._

Antigone had indeed overindulged in the wine at dinner and Professor McGonagall had asked Remus to kindly see Professor Clemens back to her quarters. Being a gentleman, Remus of course agreed but was quickly regretting that decision as Antigone seemed to be confusing his kindness with romantic interest.

"You're too kind, I'm really never funny. Just ask Severus," he replied with a small smile. This produced another peal of laughter from the blonde.

As they got closer to where Hermione was hiding she heard Professor Clemens say, "Oh, Remus, do come join me for a drink, just for a moment. I have an extensive jazz collection, I think you'd love it," she purred into his ear.

Hermione's blood boiled at the sight, she clenched her fists and tried to steady her breathing.

As Clemens and Remus rounded the corner, Hermione let out a wistful sigh and thought it was safe to come out from hiding. Hermione gingerly extricated herself from behind the armor, but the hem of her robe caught the edge of the armor and pulled the entire suit down to the floor, and her along with it, with a deafening crash. Only a moment passed before Remus had rounded the corner, with an annoyed-looking Clemens following in his wake. He spotted Hermione on her back and rushed to help her up.

"Are you alright, Hermione? What happened!?", he asked with concern and confusion as he grabbed her hands and gently lifted her to her feet.

"I, um, I...well you see I was out doing rounds and I thought I heard a noise down the adjacent hall, but I was mistaken. As I came back this way, I must've tripped and crashed into the armor. I'm so sorry, Remus. I wasn't paying attention," she said, lying to cover up why she actually fell.

"Don't worry about it, accidents happen. Are you alright? Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?", he kindly asked, gently brushing the curls from her face to stare into her deep eyes, cupping her face with his strong, soft hands.

By this time, a thoroughly bored and pissy Clemens was waiting by Remus' side and had noticed the tender display with a good deal of consternation.

"No, no, I'm fine, Remus. Sorry to interrupt your walk," Hermione said, her eyes downcast, suddenly embarrassed to be an unwanted third wheel.

"As you should be," stated an angry Clemens. "I am deducting 50 points from Gryffindor for damaging school property and another 50 for addressing a teacher by his first name. Do they really appoint such arrogant and rude students to the post of Head Girl in this school? Miss Granger, is it? I would've expected more from you based upon your reputation. Apparently you've been grossly overpraised. You are dismissed, now return to your room at once before I deduct any more house points."

Shocked by the staggering point loss and saddened at how easily she had been degraded by Clemens, Hermione turned and ran down the hall to get away as quickly as possible. Hot tears splashed her face as she ran full-force to put as much distance between her and them as possible.

"Hermione, please wait!", called out a desperate Remus. But Hermione kept running, unable to bear the thought of looking Remus in the eye.

"Walking feet, please, Miss Granger!", called out a triumphant Clemens.

Turning back to Remus, she grinned like a drunken fool, flung her arms around his neck and asked, "Now where were we?"

Edging in for a kiss, she was immediately disappointed by the sight of a rageful Remus. Gone was the mild mannered professor, now he was glowing with anger and looked ready to kill.

"What in the world would possess you to speak to Miss Granger that way?", he asked, his voice dangerously low as he roughly pulled her hands from his neck.

"She broke school property and called you 'Remus' instead of 'Professor'. I thought those kind of infractions deserved punishment. She also interrupted us, which was awfully rude of her in my opinion," she said with a saucy smile.

As she tried to grab at Remus again, he pushed her away and let loose his full anger.

"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me! I do not find you the least bit attractive! You are in fact one of the most obnoxious, horrible women I have ever had the misfortune of meeting!", he roared.

"But how you've treated me is nothing compared to how you treated my student. Miss Granger is an exceptional witch, who rightfully earned her Head Girl position by being clever, brave and respectful. Every student here looks up to her and so should you. She called me by my first name because I told her to. And if you ever so much as give her a side-ways glance again, you'll regret it. Leave my students alone," he practically hissed.

Turning on his heels, he raced down the hall towards the Head Boy & Girl's suite, leaving a thoroughly miffed Clemens in his wake. Unfortunately, he arrived a few minutes too late. For Hermione had already rushed through the portrait hole, throwing up extra wards to keep out any visitors. He could've broken the wards down, but he didn't want to intrude on her and invade her privacy, especially after what she had just experienced. He sat down on the floor, next to the portrait, putting his head in his hands, feeling thoroughly defeated.

Just then, Draco walked up to return back to his common room and nearly tripped over Remus.

"Oh, Professor! Forgive me, I didn't see you there."

Seeing the anguished look on Remus' face, Draco bent down, placed a kind hand on his shoulder and asked, "Is something wrong, Sir? Did you need to see me or Hermione?"

Remus sighed and slowly got to his feet and said, "No, Draco, I don't need anything."

"Hermione tripped a few minutes ago in the hallway and I was checking to make sure she was alright. She had a bit of a run-in with Professor Clemens and I think Hermione is just a bit embarrassed. Hence the extra wards," said Remus, smiling sadly.

Draco nodded in understanding. "Well, I have the password and can pull the wards down myself, would you like to come in and check on her?", Draco asked.

Remus looked at the handsome, thoughtful young man and realized that Hermione wasn't the only student who had grown up. This was the man she was now living with and potentially dating and Remus envied the young man his privileged position. He was the one who was going to comfort her now and wipe away her tears. The thought gripped his insides like a vice.

 _Young men always get the girl_.

It wasn't the first time that Remus wished he was twenty again.

"No, Draco, that won't be necessary. But if you could," he paused, "if you could, please check on her before turning in. I don't want her to be alone after what just happened," said a resigned Remus.

"Of course, Professor. I'll take care of her," said Draco.

"I'm sure you will," he said with a heavy heart. "Thank you, Draco," Remus said and turned to make the long walk back to his cold, empty quarters.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

Remus returned to his rooms, thoroughly angry with himself. How could he let Clemens talk to Hermione that way? Why didn't he defend her immediately? His anger and sorrow clouded his mind and made it hard to think straight. Given that, he should have headed to bed, that would have been the smart thing to do. Instead he decided to floo to Severus' rooms and drink far too much fire whiskey. While there, Remus bitterly complained about Antigone's shameless flirting, her deplorable treatment of Miss Granger and her blatant disregard for school rules. Severus merely sat quietly and patiently listened to his friend. He knew the real reason Remus was upset and knew it had nothing to do with the deduction of house points. Remus was a shy, self-conscious fellow and so Severus ignored the bushy-haired, know-it-all elephant in the room. Like any man, Remus couldn't ignore his feelings forever and until then, Severus would pretend like he hadn't noticed his friend's longing glances at a certain Head Girl.

By 2 a.m., Remus was completely shitfaced and an irritated and exhausted Snape had to hold Remus upright in order to floo him back to his quarters. Once there, Severus had to take off Remus' shoes for him and tuck him in bed.

"Gryffindors," Snape said ruefully. "Haven't met one yet that could hold their liquor."

With Remus snoring loudly, Snape flooed back to his quarters.

As he slept, Remus was overcome by the most amazing dream. He was in the kitchen of Grimmalud Place at night, and Hermione was there too, seated at the kitchen table. But instead of pajamas, she was wearing her school robes. He sat down beside her and she smiled at him.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Professor?"

"You don't have to call me professor. We're not in class, call me Remus."

But as he blinked, he suddenly found himself in his classroom, seated at his desk, with Hermione standing right in front of him. She slowly pulled her robes apart to reveal she was completely naked. She dropped her robes, and slowly settled in his lap.

She leaned down and gave him a kiss, the contact was positively electric. Her soft lips teasing him at first, nibbling and sucking his bottom lip. But her kisses soon turned passionate and lingering as her sweet tongue found its way into his mouth to explore and flick and tease him even more. Her hands digging into his hair and pulling him flush against her luscious body, he finally surrendered and grasped her, letting his hands glide over her hips, her breasts, feeling her warm skin and smelling her intoxicating scent. He buried his face into her unruly curls and felt like he had finally come home.

She began writhing under his touch, begging for more contact, begging him to undress and take her to bed. And then suddenly she pulled away from him, tears streaking her face, her body suddenly clothed again in school robes. She looked sadly at him and said, "Remus, how could you?"

And with that she leaped from his lap and ran out of the classroom door. He ran after her and screamed her name over and over again but couldn't catch her. And then he suddenly woke up.

Drenched in sweat, with a painful erection and a horrible headache, he looked around his room, confused to be in his quarters. He couldn't remember getting back here. For a long moment he thought the dream had been real. The dream had felt so very real. Her body, dear Merlin, he felt like he had actually touched her, tasted her. It had all been so tantalizing. He rolled onto his stomach to quell his desire and steady his heart. Damnit, he simply had to stop thinking about her. But how could he shut out his heart's dearest desire? How could he simply turn a blind eye to the one thing he wanted most? Yet worse than the dream was the harsh realization that he let her be hurt last night. And now in the sharp, morning light he knew he had to do something to make it right.

XXXXXX

Draco had tried twice the previous night to check on Hermione, but both times he knocked, she refused to answer. So he awoke early and waited in their common room for her to emerge.

When she awoke, Hermione felt shame coursing through her veins. She embarrassed herself in front of Remus yet again and she had lost her house points. She had so wanted this first week to go smoothly, to reaffirm her decision to return to school and the exact opposite was happening. So much had gone wrong, so quickly, she felt worse than ever about being here.

As she descended the steps from her suite, Draco noticed her puffy face and the dark circles beneath her eyes and knew she hadn't slept well.

"Good morning, Hermione. You doing okay?", he carefully asked.

"Of course, I'm fine, why do you ask?", she said a bit sharply.

"Oh, it's just that as I returned last night, I found Professor Lupin sitting outside the portrait and he mentioned you had some kind of run-in with the new blonde professor. He looked pretty upset, in fact. He seemed like he wanted to check on you but didn't want to bother you."

Remus was just being sweet and considerate, as always, she thought. Nothing more to it.

"It was nothing," she said, quickly dismissing any thoughts about Remus being upset on her behalf.

She and Draco walked and chit chatted about classes on the way to breakfast. As she passed the crystal cases that held each house's points, she was surprised that her 100 point loss hadn't affected Gryffidor's points. In fact, their points were higher now than they had been last night. Thoroughly confused, she and Draco sat down at the Gryffidor table and began to eat breakfast when a small tawny owl landed in front of her with a small note tied to its leg. She fed the sweet owl a piece of bacon as she untied the note and noticed the familiar handwriting.

 _Dear Hermione,_

 _I sincerely apologize for what happened last night. Professor Clemens was completely out of line in her assessment of you and for deducting so many house points. She simply does not know you like I do. Never for a second believe her harsh words, you are magnificent in every way. You will be pleased to know that I've rectified her deduction and awarded fifty additional house points for your excellence in attending to your nightly duties. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Remus_

So that's why the points had been so high this morning, she thought with a smile. Then her eyes welled with tears as she reread the letter. _'You are magnificent in every way.'_ If the gentle professor had only knew how much those words meant to her, how much happiness and hope she pinned to their meaning.

She glanced up to see a very tired and drained-looking Remus sitting quietly at the end of the head table. As his lifted his head and their eyes met, she gave him the warmest, kindest smile she could muster and mouthed the words 'Thank You' to him. At that, he immediately brightened and smiled back at her and gave her a simple nod of his head.

Hermione also noticed with some measure of glee that Professor Clemens had moved several seats away from Remus and was busy chatting up Professor Sinastra. Whether this was Remus' doing or Clemens' she didn't know. But clinging to the warm feeling that now spread throughout her whole body, she realized that maybe not all hope was lost.

XXXXXXX

Feeling reassured and buoyant, Hermione finished a quick breakfast and headed off for another long day of lessons. First up was arithimacy, followed by double potions, where an unusually chatty Snape told her that the Amortentia potion she had brewed had been "quite adequate." She nearly fainted from the effusive praise. Leaving the cold dungeons, as she headed for lunch, Hermione felt wonderful. The day was turning out so well. Remus wasn't mad at her, classes were going well and she was beginning to feel a small bit of confidence return.

It was unfortunate that this good mood was shattered later that day as she entered her very first History of Magic class with Professor Clemens. All of the boys, except for Draco, jostled to sit in the very front of the class, while he and Hermione sat towards the middle. The severe-looking blonde professor looked positively giddy as she watched Granger walk in, her beady eyes trained on the Head Girl with a malicious look in her eyes.

As class began, Professor Clemens said "Welcome to History of Magic, as you know I am Antigone Clemens and I am indeed excited to be teaching such a fascinating subject," she said with fake cheerfulness.

"I've heard from several sources that your previous professor had a rather stuffy approach to teaching. I can assure you that my approach is much more lively."

"Rather than lecturing, I prefer for you to do the readings on your own and come to class prepared to battle your fellow students in a quiz-bowl style competition. Students can earn points for correct answers and the student with the most points get a reward at the end of the year. However, wrong answers will lose you points and subsequently earn you extra readings."

At this, students gasped and looked visibly worried. No one, except Hermione, enjoyed History and the prospect of earning more reading for not knowing every factoid, put everyone on edge.

"Now, now, don't be afraid. This is going to be fun, let me show you. Let me have a volunteer...ah, Miss Granger, kindly come to the front of the class."

With not a small amount of trepidation, Hermione headed to the front of the class, trying hard not to look worried.

"Now then, I'm going to ask Miss Granger a few simple questions and you'll see how much fun this will be. We've all heard and seen how smart Miss Granger is, so this should be a walk in the park for her."

"Hmm, let's see, Miss Granger, kindly name all 216 giants that perished in the 1246 Battle of Sammly," said an expectant Clemens.

Hermione's mouth gaped open at the question. She couldn't possibly have been serious.

"Come now, Miss Granger, close you mouth, you are not a fish," the professor said gleefully. Her comment drew several laughs from the class, while Draco merely glared at the professor with arms crossed.

"Name them, let's go, we haven't got all day."

"I'm sorry professor, I don't believe I will be able to name all 216," Hermione said as worry began to rise in her chest.

"Well then, how about another easy one. Tell me the order of the 26 Goblin Rebellions, chronologically and from north to south."

"Um...first there was Gilbert's rebellion, followed by Rosenmirth's, then Flannery's...", Hermione began.

"Wrong," Clemens smugly called out. "Rosenmirth's rebellion came after Flannery's."

"How about I give you a very easy one. Tell me the order of the Treaties of Peace?"

"There are over 90 treaties, Professor."

"Indeed, Miss Granger, I'd get started if I were you," Clemens said with a wicked grin.

At this, Hermione grew beet red and wished the earth would swallow her. Rather than get it wrong, she merely hung her head and stood silently before the class.

"Aww, what a pity. I thought you were the brightest witch of your age. Seems like that was just talk. To help you sharpen your knowledge, Miss Granger, I would like you to read chapters 1 through 12 and have a presentation prepared for us all to enjoy by our next class."

Hermione nodded mutely and returned to her seat, thoroughly embarrassed. Clemens had managed to knock her off her game, leaving Hermione feeling humiliated and painfully out of place here. Draco reached under the desk and gave her hand a firm squeeze and a reassuring glance.

Seeing this, Professor Clemens called out, "Really, Miss Granger after that pathetic display of knowledge, you must make kissy faces with your boyfriend? What a disappointment. 20 points from each of you for inappropriate touching."

The class snickered and Hermione felt white hot rage shoot through her body.

Other students were called forward and asked easy questions in comparison to what Hermione had faced. As class finally came to a merciful end and students began filing out, Professor Clemens called out, "Miss Granger, I would like a word with you."

Draco was reluctant to leave Hermione's side, but she told her friend she would be fine and he agreed to meet her at dinner in a few minutes.

As the classroom door shut, Professor Clemens sat in silence, staring at Hermione like a cat about to pounce on a mouse.

"The famous Miss Granger. How much I've heard about you. Smart, talented, war hero. You must have an ego the size of a horned-tailed dragon," said Clemens.

"I can assure you, Professor, nothing can be further from the truth."

"You can't fool me, Miss Granger. I have known many girls like you; what you lack in physical attributes," the grown witch said, casting a critical eye over Hermione's body, "you make up for it by burying your nose in books. But I hate to break it to you, in addition to not being much to look at, you also aren't very bright."

After Remus had left her stranded in the hallway, Antigone grew furious. No man had ever dare turn her down. Recalling the way Remus had tenderly touched the young student, she suddenly realized why he had spurned her advances. Well, if Antigone couldn't have the delicious wolf, then this prickly teenager couldn't have him either.

"Yes, smart enough to get by, certainly. But no where near the brightest witch of your age. Makes me wonder why you're even here."

While Hermione was stunned speechless, the professor continued on.

"I saw how you were looking at Professor Lupin last night. I saw you ogling him, leaning into his touch. How pathetic. You think he'd want you? A man like that wants a real woman, not some skinny, needy child. He doesn't love you, he merely pities you."

The words stung like a hard smack to the face. Every fear and insecurity was bubbling to the surface and it killed Hermione to know that this witch could see each and every one of them.

"I could have him whenever I want," Clemens said leaning within inches of Hermione's face.

"I could snap my fingers and have him kissing the very ground I walk upon. After your little scene last night, he may have disagreed with how I disciplined you, but make no mistake, I could get him back so very easily. For you see, I have things to offer him that you simply will never possess," she said standing tall, towering over Hermione with her perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect everything.

"So do please keep that in mind the next time you decide to go stumbling about the castle looking for attention," she said with a cold, calculating glare.

With a fake smile, Antigone stood tall and proud and said, "You're now dismissed. Off to dinner with you. And don't forget about that research presentation."

Hermione left the classroom feeling as if a boulder were resting atop her shoulders.

The rational part of Hermione knew that Clemens was bluffing. She knew Remus had come after her, knew that he cared for her. He had called her magnificent. It couldn't be an act. It just couldn't.

She wanted so desperately to believe in Remus' good heart but it was so much easier to believe that all his kindness was merely pity for her, rather than love. It was so easy to believe all the nasty things that Clemens had said, so for once in her life, Hermione chose the easy route and delved head-first into the dark abyss. She closed her eyes against the pain. Nothing made sense anymore, not school, not Remus, not even herself.

It was with these cloudy and turbulent thoughts that she entered the Great Hall for what would turn out to be a memorable dinner.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: all familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling. This is just my story.**

 **A/N: thank you to all of you who have reviewed and followed the story. I hope you're enjoying reading it, as much as I'm enjoying writing it.**

Walking into the noise and heat of dinner in the Great Hall, Hermione felt the humiliation and stress of the day catching up with her. She took a deep breath and slowly walked to take a seat with Ginny. Hermione wondered if everyone else could see her? Really see the real her? See how she stuck out and yet was invisible?

She felt so insignificant, so pathetic. An imposter. Like a child dressed up in her mum's heels, pretending to be a grown-up.

The act was wearing thin.

Sitting down, Ginny immediately noticed how unwell she looked, pale and sweaty, her eyes unfocused.

"What's wrong? What's happened?", asked an alarmed Ginny.

"Nothing that matters," Hermione said listlessly.

As Hermione began methodically eating, ignoring the hall around her, Ginny watched with worry, unsure of what exactly had transpired during the day but knew instinctively that things weren't good for her friend. She knew this crowded hall was the very last place she would want to talk, she needed to get Hermione out of there and do it quickly.

But Ginny wasn't the only one worried. Remus watched with open concern as Hermione came in late to dinner and looked on the verge of tears, barely holding it together by the looks of it. Severus noticed his concern just as Antigone swept in and sat next to Severus.

"Miss Granger appears to be ill. Perhaps a visit to the hospital wing is in order," said Severus loud enough for his seat mates to hear, especially Lupin.

"As well she should feel poorly. That arrogant witch couldn't answer a single question in my class this afternoon and then to top it off, I caught her snuggling up with her boyfriend Malfoy right in the middle of my class. I docked them 40 points in total," said a proud Antigone.

"That sounds rather uncharacteristic of Miss Granger. I usually find her well prepared for class and generally keeps her hands to herself," remarked Severus. "I also do not believe her to be dating Mr. Malfoy. They are simply friends. Perhaps you misunderstood what had transpired, Antigone. I've heard that gauging people's interest is not exactly your strong suit," smirked Snape.

With that, Antigone opted for silence. Insults were of no consequence to her, for her work here was done. The salt had already been put in the wound, for she knew Remus was starting to believe that Hermione was spoken for. And with Hermione out of the picture, she would then have the wolf all to herself. She just had to be patient.

Remus was stung by the image of Hermione and Draco snuggling but couldn't believe it actually happened, especially not during class. Antigone had to be lying, she just had to be. Remus continued to watch the young woman, who was looking more and more out of it as the moments ticked by.

Hermione ate without tasting, looked without seeing. She felt almost outside of her own body. Her head swam with so many frantic thoughts that she began to feel woozy.

"Ginny, I think I need to leave. Will you come with me?", Hermione asked, looking so weak and defeated.

"Of course," and with that Ginny was immediately on her feet, grabbing her and Hermione's bags and gently helped her friend to her feet. But just as they were leaving, an excited looking Malfoy strode up to them with a frightened looking student in his clutches.

"Whoa, ladies! Leaving so soon? Where are you running off to?", asked a smiling Malfoy.

"Hermione isn't well, I'm taking her back to your common rooms," said Ginny, holding onto her dear friend.

"Oh, you can't leave just yet, there's someone here I want you to meet," he said. Pulling forward the slightly frightened young man, Draco said, "Ladies, this is Mitchell Albright. Mitchell here is in Ravenclaw, loves chess, reading and volunteers at St. Mungo's."

"See?" Draco said, pushing young Mitchell in front of Hermione. "I told you I'd find you a live one, Hermione, I think you two would make a terrific couple."

Mitchell was, for all intents and purposes, a lovely young man. Approximately 14 years old, if Hermione's guess was correct and about 6 inches shorter than the Head Girl, and with a high enough voice to suggest that he hadn't actually hit puberty yet. This truly would have been an amazing joke on Draco's part but she could tell from the look on his face that this was a sincere offer.

"Mitchell, it's a pleasure to meet you," said Hermione, summoning every ounce of strength she had not to scream and cry at the same time.

"I'm not sure what Draco here has told you, but I do not think I will be interested in a date anytime soon. But thank you so much for stopping by," and with that Hermione began charging towards the door with Draco, Ginny and a bewildered Mitchell hot on her heels.

"What!? That's it? I search high and low for the best man I can find and you just flat out refuse?", Draco asked rather loudly.

Whipping around, face alight with fury, Hermione yelled, "You can not be serious! That boy hasn't even got chest hair! You've searched high and low and that's who you bring me for a date!?"

"I do, too, have chest hair," said a sheepish Mitchell, but no one seemed to be listening.

In fact, the entire Great Hall seemed to be focusing their eyes and ears solely on the Head Boy and Girl, who by this point were quite vocal.

"He's quite the catch, I'll have you know and he likes you, told me himself," crowed a proud Draco.

"Stop it! Just stop it!" Hermione screamed. "Stop embarrassing this poor boy and yourself and me, for that matter! There's no point! I'm not worth having, do you understand me?!", she screamed loud enough for all to hear, her voice almost hysterical.

She leaned in closer to Draco and said several octaves lower, "I'm not beautiful or smart or brave. No one would want me, so please stop trying."

The silence that followed was palpable and filled the Great Hall. Hermione turned on her heels and said to no one in particular, "I'm done, I'm done being here. I quit."

And with that, she swept out of the Great Hall and left a stunned school behind her.

XXXXXXXX

Hermione tore through the castle with a speed and strength she didn't know she possessed. She bolted through the portrait to her rooms, ran up the stairs to her suite and shut and warded her door. She tore to her closet, yanked out her truck and began throwing all of her possessions in. Books, clothes, shoes all went in with great speed and little accuracy. She was blind with rage and embarrassment. She just wanted to leave and forget this all ever happened. She would go to the Weasley's or stay above the Leaky Cauldron, if she had to. She'd figure it all out. Anything would be better than staying here. She'd start fresh somewhere, where no one knew her, she could become anything she wanted.

As she raced around her room, grabbing random objects to pack, she happened to grab a photo of her with Ron and Harry, and it made her pause. In it, they were eleven years old and all smiling. Their younger selves had no idea what was to come, they were innocent and happy, as all children should be. That thought, that they had all once been whole and happy was the one that caused her to stop for a moment. And when she did stop, she finally breathed and felt her heart break open.

"Why is this all so fucking hard!?", she wailed to no one. She clutched the picture of her dear friends and began to violently sob as she leaned against her heavy door and slid to the floor in a heap.

XXXXXXX

Outside of the closed and warded door, stood quite the ragtag collection of people. Draco and Ginny, were of course there, arguing.

"How could you be so thick!" Ginny screamed. "Offering her a child as a date! And in front of the whole hall! Could you possibly be a bigger jack ass?!"

"I didn't mean for things to get loud! She was the one who started screaming!", yelled Draco.

"And besides, Mitchell was a catch. A few years from now, she's gonna wish she listened to me," said a confident Draco.

"Indeed, if I don't strangle you first," said Ginny, glaring at the Head Boy.

Remus, Severus and Minerva were also there. Minerva was sick with worry and was trying to gently coax Hermione out, but it was useless. Remus was meerly pacing the room, trying to release nervous energy, while Severus was trying to get to the bottom of what exactly had transpired.

"So, let me see if I have this straight," said Severus, who could feel a migraine coming on.

"Mr. Malfoy was put in charge of finding Miss Granger a date for the ball, is that right?", asked Severus.

"Yes," said Draco and Ginny in unison.

"Wait, so you and Hermione are not dating then?", asked Remus, cautiously optimistic.

"No, we're just friends. I'm not dating anyone at the moment," said Draco as he caught and held Ginny's gaze.

"So, yeah I was trying to find her a date, she's been a bit down lately, I was just trying to make her happy," said Draco.

 _Aren't we all,_ thought Remus.

"And you thought young Mr. Albright would be a good match? You do know he's only 13, right?", asked an incredulous Severus.

Ginny scowled while Draco visibly winced at this new bit of information, but in true Slytherin fashion, he pressed on.

"Well, he seemed mature for his age. Anyway, he was just the first candidate of many. If he didn't work, I had more to pick from. I just knew she had a bad day in Professor Clemens' class and I wanted to try and cheer her up," Draco said sheepishly.

Ginny momentarily softened her glare and gave Draco a small smile.

"What happened in Clemens' class?", asked Remus.

"Clemens really went after Hermione in front of everyone for no reason. Asked her impossible questions just to embarrass her. Then when Hermione sat back down I squeezed her hand just to show her some support and Clemens called us out as dating and having inappropriately touched. It seemed like Clemens was out to embarrass her, knock her down a peg. Clemens then made Hermione stay after to talk, but I don't know what was said then," said Draco.

"Nothing good, I'm sure," said a furious Remus. As soon as he knew Hermione would be okay, he was going to wring Antigone's neck himself.

"So she was clearly distraught from Professor Clemens' class, arrived at the Great Hall, was confronted about needing help finding a date and then had what can be generously called a meltdown," Snape succinctly surmised.

"But why were you helping her find a date in the first place, Mr. Malfoy?", asked Snape. "Surely she could've found someone to go with on her own."

"Because you heard what she said, 'I'm not worth having, no one here would want me,'" stated a resigned Remus.

The words had echoed through his mind over and over again since the moment they left her lips. _Not worth having._ How could she think such a thing? As soon as she left the hall, he bolted from the head table and raced to catch her. He was the first one to reach her rooms, but for a second time that week, he was just a few minutes too late.

Alone in her common room, he knelt against her closed door and spoke softly, "Hermione, it's Remus, please come out. Please just talk to me. Everything is going to be alright, just let me help."

She had heard him but couldn't let him in, couldn't let him see what a mess she was. And so he knelt there, keeping a quiet vigil until all of the others stormed into the room yelling and shouting, all hopes of coaxing her out for a quiet chat gone.

And now they sat there without a clue as to what to do. Sweet words from Remus couldn't coax her out, neither could motherly concern from McGonagall nor stern threats from Snape. At last, Ginny asked everyone to leave so that she could try. With no other options available, they listened and filed out of the room. Snape and McGonagal left to check that the other students had turned in for the night, while Draco and Remus sat and waited for some kind of news.

With the room empty, Ginny approached the door and said, "Hermione, everyone's left. It's just me, please let me in, just so I know you're okay," Ginny softly begged.

The wards vanished and the lock clicked and Hermione allowed Ginny to come in. Seeing her wild hair, her face ravaged by sobbing, Ginny could only rush to embrace her friend. Ginny threw a silencing ward at the door as the two collapsed on the bed and Ginny just held her and let her sob. They laid there among the mess and chaos for quite a while before Ginny finally spoke.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?", she asked gently.

Hermione drew a deep, shaky breath before speaking.

"That horrible Clemens woman embarrassed me in class and then told me afterwards that I'm both stupid and ugly and that I shouldn't get any ideas about ever landing a particular man."

"Would that particular man by chance be Remus?", asked Ginny.

"How did you know?", asked Hermione, surprise playing across her face.

"I'm your best friend, I know these things," she said with a small smile.

"Yes, it's Remus. I...I like him, I think I love him," Hermione said quietly. "But I've made such a fool of myself in front of him. It doesn't matter, anyway. Antigone likes him and I think he likes her, so it's not like a have a real shot at him anyway."

"And why not?", asked Ginny.

"Because Clemens is stunning and I'm just some awkward teenager, why in the hell would he want me?"

"Are you mad?!", said Ginny. "Hermione, who wouldn't want you? You're kind, strong, smart, and quite beautiful," she said sincerely, taking Hermione's face in her hands.

"I've seen the way he looks at you, Hermione. I know he cares for you," said Ginny.

But Hermione pulled away and her anger again began to bubble up.

"Honestly, Ginny! Look at me! I'm nothing to write home about. I've lived in a school full of horny boys for 7 years and not a single one of them has ever wanted me. No one had ever thought of me as anything worth having. The only time a boy has sought me out is to help them with their homework. Two kisses with Ron, that's it! Talk about pathetic."

"Look at yourself, really look," she said as she positioned her friend in front of her full length mirror. "You're gorgeous."

But Hermione merely shrugged and walked away from the mirror.

"That's it," said an exasperated Ginny.

"I've had quite enough of listening to this bullshit. Strip," ordered the red head.

"Excuse me?", said Hermione.

"You heard me, take it all off. Robes, clothes, bra, knickers. Everything off," ordered Ginny.

"Absolutely not, I'm not getting naked in front of you!"

"You have nothing I haven't seen before, but if it'll make you feel better, I'll put on a blindfold, I won't see anything but you are going to take a good, long, honest look at your body," said Ginny.

She hesitated, she rarely looked at herself naked, let alone stared at her naked form infront of a full length mirror.

 _Fuck it_ , she thought, _what do I have to lose._

Ginny tied a scarf around her eyes and sat on the bed while Hermione started stripping off her clothes. Robes, socks, top and jeans gone as she stood before the floor length mirror and paused in only her bra and panties.

"Alright now, describe to me what you see," said a blindfolded Ginny from atop Hermione's bed.

"Um...knobby knees, small tits, frizzy hair, big teeth, chicken legs," recited Hermione.

"No, no, you see this is a perceptual problem. Let's try this again. Instead of saying a negative thing about each part, I want you to say a positive thing instead."

"Ginny, c'mon this is stupid," begged Hermione.

"Hermione, just do it!", yelled Ginny, sounding remarkably like Molly.

"Ugh, fine," said Hermione as she blew an exasperated sigh. She scanned her usual critical eye over her body and searched for positivity.

"Smooth knees, long legs, wild hair, straight teeth," said Hermione, trying to placate her friend.

"Good, alright, that's better. Now, ditch the knickers and bra," ordered Ginny.

Reluctantly she did so. She hadn't stared at herself fully naked since she first sprouted breasts several years ago. She figured that not much had changed. But looking now she could see that her body had indeed changed. The girl that had once stood there now looked like a woman.

"Flat stomach...delicate hands...proud shoulders, strong arms...perky bottom, curvy hips...small, pink nipples, firm breasts...a bit tall, nice smile," she said with warmth in her voice.

"Not so bad, eh? Everything you have just said is how everyone sees you, Hermione. You don't need hair creams or glamours or fancy clothes. You don't need to change anything about yourself. You're stunning, just as you are, if you'd only just see it."

A small tear escaped her eye and it slid quietly down her cheek. Then her eyes filled and she couldn't stop the ensuing flood. Ginny could hear her soft whimper and said from the bed, "It's alright, 'Mione. It's hard being a woman, no one tells you these things."

"It all comes down to acceptance. All girls are different, but it's not the physical differences that make some beautiful and others not. Beautiful girls are confident, they accept and embrace themselves. Plain girls feel insecure, ashamed even of their own bodies. Pretty girls just figure this shit out sooner than others," said Ginny, suddenly sounding far wiser and more mature than her years.

"It's going to be okay, you know. Just don't give away your power. Don't give others the right to judge you and deem you 'fuckable' or 'hot' or 'ugly' or 'smart' or 'stupid'. You don't need their validation, Hermione. You never did," said her good friend.

"I would offer to come and hug you right now but you're naked and I'm blindfolded and I'm sure that is the exact moment Draco would walk in and get the wrong idea."

Hermione giggled and let out a breath. She had been holding a lot in. She wiped her eyes and began getting dressed. Once her jeans and top were on, Ginny removed her blindfold and gave Hermione a fierce hug.

"Now I want you to do this every night before bed. The more you hear yourself feeling positive about your body, the sooner you'll believe it."

 _Easier said than done_ , thought Hermione.

Ginny helped an exhausted Hermione clear off a spot on her bed so she could lie down. Once under the covers, Ginny leaned down and kissed her forehead and said, "You're gonna be just fine, Hermione. Everything is going to work out just fine, you'll see."

"Thank you, Ginny," Hermione said, her eyes heavy with sleep and a smile on her lips.

"You're going to make a wonderful mum someday," she said as she drifted off to sleep.

Ginny smiled wistfully, and at that moment had felt so thankful for her own mother, for showing her just how strong a woman could be. With that, Ginny put out the light and left Hermione to sleep.

She tip-toed down the steps and out the portrait and was met by Remus and Draco, who had been eagerly waiting for some news.

"How is she?", Remus asked, still looking panicked.

"She's fine, a bit exhausted but she going to be fine. Had a tough day and it all caught up with her. You know Hermione, she always expects perfection from herself. She's just feels a bit out of place right now and insecure. She just needs to give herself a break. A few days rest and she should be right as rain," said Ginny.

Remus breathed for the first time all night. He felt such enormous gratitude for Ginny. He was glad Hemionne had another woman she count on but at the same time he had wished she could've confided in him too.

"Thank you, Ginny, sincerely. I don't know what we would've done without you tonight," said Remus.

Ginny smiled, looking at Remus in a whole new light. She hoped the sweet professor knew what an amazing woman Hermione was, she hoped he would work hard to deserve her.

"We're her only family, we have to take care of her," Ginny said looking pointedly at Remus.

Remus could only nod, feeling the weight of the young woman's words settle deep within him.

"It's late and you should already be back in Gryffindor tower," Remus finally said to Ginny with a small smile.

"I can walk her back, Professor, if that's alright with you, Ginny?", asked a hopeful Malfoy, offering her his arm.

"You may be a git, but you are a sweet git," she said, taking his arm and strolling away.

Remus smiled as the pair walked away, noting with some surprise the way Ginny leaned into Draco and gave him a warm smile.

Remus went into the common room to wait for Draco's return, he didn't want Hermione to be alone should she awaken and need something. He knew he should wait on the couch but this thoughts swirled with guilt and anger and sadness for Hermione and he knew he had to see her. He had to know that she was okay.

He couldn't stop himself, before he knew what he was doing, he had crossed the room, climbed the steps and gently opened her bedroom door. Heart racing, he slowly peered inside to see a mess of clothes, books and pictures shoved haphazardly into a traveling trunk.

Amongst all the mess, he saw her fast asleep.

He stepped closer and gently sat down on her bed. Her face was framed by the soft moonlight that filtered through the curtains. Asleep, she looked positively radiant. Thick eye lashes, pouted, pink lips, with all the tension erased from her face as she finally relaxed.

But he knew this belied the anguish that was churning within her. Just like every person that Remus had ever cared for, Hermione was suffering and he had been unable to stop it, unable to protect her. He felt so defeated, he hung his head in his hands and began to quietly weep.

Just then, Hermione shifted in her sleep and snuggled closer to Remus, her hand reaching for his leg and clutching it like a life line. He sighed and reached down to stroke her beautiful hair, as she curled around him like a sleeping cat.

"I'm so sorry, Hermione," he whispered. "I'm sorry for all of this. I'm going to make it up to you, I swear," he said.

"You are worth having, you know. So very worth having...just not by me," he said, the quiet words ringing in his ears with such sad truth.

He knew he had to protect her at all costs. He couldn't lose one more person in his life. And keeping her meant helping her find her happiness even if that meant her being with some other man.

He sat there, letting her hold him and stroking her hair until the sun rose. Only then, with the promise of a new day, could he finally stand and tear himself away from her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: all familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

It turned out that having a mental breakdown in the middle of the Great Hall was not as bad as Hermione had feared.

While she may have once chosen death over publically laying out all of her insecurities, she found in the wake of the 'Granger Implosion' which was how many were referring to it, that she had far more supporters than she ever realized.

As she rested in her suite for the remainder of the week, by order of Madam Pomfrey, well wishes poured in from all over the castle. Professors McGonagall, Sprout and Flitwick took turns checking-in on her and Madam Pince made sure to send a fresh supply of reading material each day. Draco and Ginny came by each afternoon with warm cookies from the kitchen and her homework.

She also received several letters from a few younger female students, ones that she barely knew. They said they all had looked up to her and they too felt the pressure to be perfect. They also acknowledged that seeing the great Hemione Granger succumb to pressure had made them all feel a bit better about their own insecurities and worries. She was glad that her honesty had lead to at least a few students being a bit more accepting of themselves.

Between all the visitors, she barely had time to nap. The only person who didn't come by was the one she wanted to see the most and that was Remus. He sent owls each day with letters of encouragement and he also arranged for fresh hydrangeas to be delivered daily by Winky. But he never came to visit and his absence made Hermione long for his soothing presence.

Although it felt strange to be missing classes, Hermione was actually enjoying the weeklong break. It felt good to really rest and take care of her self. She felt so blessed to be cared for by so many. The outpouring of goodwill had taken her by surprise, but nothing was more surprising than the visits she received daily from Professor Snape.

Each day he insisted on bringing her healing potions, brewed fresh and of the finest potency, he assured her. This new care and concern, from the most unexpected of places, touched her the most.

"Thank you, Professor Snape, for your kindness," she said Sunday morning, sitting upright in her bed. "I truly appreciate your taking the time to brew these potions for me and to deliver them yourself. I know how busy you are," she said warmly.

"It is my pleasure, Miss Granger," he said without any hint of sarcasm, as he measured out a potion.

Emboldened by his unusually kind words, she asked, "If you don't mind me asking, why are you going through so much trouble for me, sir?"

He paused, not sure what to say. He finally settled on telling the truth.

"Because...you are important to this school, and we can't have you wearing yourself out or running away. You're different, Miss Granger. You bring a sharp, astute mind and a brave heart to this castle, it simply wouldn't be the same without you," he stated matter-of-factly.

She felt stunned and elated. Not once in seven years, had she ever heard Professor Snape give anything close to a compliment to anyone and here he was lavishing her with praise. She choked-up with emotion and was barely able to speak.

She finally found her voice and said, "Thank you, sir. That means more to me than you'll ever know."

He responded with a slight smile and a nod. "Do get some rest, Miss Granger. We all miss having you in class," and with that, the not-so-greasy bat of the dungeons swept from her room, leaving a smiling Hermione.

XXXXXXXX

Monday morning dawned bright and early with Hermione ready to face classes and her fellow students, once again. With her head held high, she entered the Great Hall for breakfast and was greeted by a smiling Draco and a happy Ginny, both sitting next to one another at the Gryffindor table.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Granger," said Draco.

"You look great, Hermione. Are you ready for classes?", asked Ginny.

A brave Hermione smiled and said, "Absolutely," without any hint of fear.

She was sorted into Gryffindor for a reason after all and she wasn't going to let students or teachers or anyone's opinion effect her anymore. She deserved to be here and she was going to prove it. Like a strong oak weathering a storm, she would not be pushed over so easily.

The next two weeks passed quickly as Hermione returned to classes and found the daily schedule and routine to be a soothing comfort. With the exception of History of Magic, which was still painful, with Clemens still trying to trip her up with obscure questions, the rest of her classes were going quite well and she felt her confidence returning slowly.

She began to remember how much she loved being here, being a student. Without the pressure to constantly save Ron and Harry or the whole wizarding world for that matter, she found she had much more time this year to pursue things that she loved. She was able to study at a leisurely pace, handle her Head Girl duties easily and still have plenty of time to tutor younger students, which was quickly becoming her favorite part of her day.

Watching the young students crack a complicated problem or master a wand technique gave her such a sense of accomplishment and pride. This must be why Remus loves it so much, she thought. Remus saw her tutoring several times as he walked through the library and quietly watched her from a distance. He was impressed at her poise and confidence with the students, her positive, encouraging way of helping them find their own answers. She was a natural at it, and he felt so proud of her.

Although he kept a healthy distance, he still watched her every day and was glad to see she was improving. This castle, and the love of those within it, seemed to be healing her.

XXXXXX

One morning toward the end of September, Remus was headed to his classroom a bit early to prepare for his class with second year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. As he walked into the room he was surprised to find the Boy-Who-Lived perched on a desk at the front of the room.

"Harry!", exclaimed a surprised Remus. "What are you doing here?", he asked smiling, while shaking the young man's hand.

"I had an hour free and I thought I'd pop by in person and ask for a favor," said Harry.

"Of course, what can I do for you?", asked Remus.

"Well, Hermione's birthday is this weekend and Ron and I are planning a surprise party for her on Saturday night at her favorite restaurant in London. I've already asked McGonagall and she said that Hermione, Ginny and Draco can leave the castle but only if they have chaperones. I'll need someone to bring Ginny and Draco first so Hermione won't suspect anything and then I'll need you to bring her alone so she's surprised. Can you do it?", asked a hopeful Harry.

Remus hesitated. He had been purposefully keeping his distance from Hermione over the past two weeks, knowing that it was best for the both of them. He knew she needed some space to find her way and maybe even find a boyfriend, he didn't want to get in the way of that with his feelings for her. But faced with this request, he couldn't think of an explanation that would get him off the hook, so he told Harry he would happily bring her and figure out a way to keep the party a secret.

"Who else could chaperone? Maybe Hagrid?", asked Harry.

Remus shook his head, "Hagrid's away for the next two weeks, visiting Madame Maxime."

And then it dawned on Remus who the perfect chaperone would be.

"Actually, I think I have the perfect man for the job. I do believe Professor Snape would love to come along. He and Miss Granger have become good friends recently. I'm sure he wouldn't want to miss it," said Remus with a grin.

"If you say so," said an incredulous Harry. "As long as he behaves."

"He's actually not so bad, once you get to know him," said Remus with a warm smile.

"Alright then, have Snape bring Ginny and Draco at 5:30 to this restaurant," he said handing Remus a slip of paper with an address on it, "and then you bring the birthday girl at 6:00, sound good?", asked Harry.

"Yes, sounds great. What should I tell her to get her to come along with me without rousing suspicion?"

"Tell her you're taking her for dinner, you two always loved hanging out together. I'm sure she'll be thrilled," said Harry.

Before Remus could protest, Harry offered him a quick thanks and said, "I've gotta run, I'm running late. I'll see you both Saturday night. Thanks again, Remus!"

So much for keeping his distance. He now had to ask Hermione Granger, his friend, his fantasy, his one true wish, out on a date. Well, this was going to be interesting, he thought.

XXXXXX

Later that day as Remus watched a happy Hermione get up, leaving the Great Hall from lunch, he jumped from his seat and practically raced out of the hall so that he could pretend to casually catch up to her.

"Oh hello, Remus!", she said looking positively delighted to have run into him. She had only seen him in classes for the past two weeks and she had missed him terribly.

"Hermione," he smiled. "Just the young lady I wanted to see. How have you been? Enjoying classes?"

"Oh yes, things have been going well. Everyone has been so nice and supportive since my trouble a few weeks ago."

"That's wonderful to hear, I'm so happy you're settling in. You look like your old self again," he said touching her arm with such an aching tenderness, that Hermione nearly swooned from the contact.

"Indeed," she said, struggling to calm her racing heart.

"And your birthday is this weekend. Any big plans?"

"Well, not really. Ginny has quidditch practice that night and it's Draco's night to host Slytherin's monthly community meeting, so I guess I'll just be celebrating on my own," she said with a sad smile.

"Well, we can't have that, would you care to come out for dinner with me?", asked a nervous and suddenly worried Remus.

What if she said no? She very well could, what beautiful twenty-year old would want to go out for dinner on her birthday with her old professor?

But in this regard, he truly did not understand Hermione, for her heart leapt in her chest and a huge smile spread across her face as she immediately said, "Yes, of course! I'd love to!"

But a nasty thought suddenly crossed her mind. What if he was asking merely out of pity? Her features darkened momentarily at the thought and Remus took this as a warning sign.

"You of course don't have to if you don't want to. I understand if you'd prefer not to go with me," he rambled, suddenly blushing and feeling silly.

But for once, Hermione decided to grab ahold of her confidence and be bold. "There's no one else I would rather be with on my birthday. Thank you so much for the offer, I can't wait," she said smiling.

"Wonderful," said a very pleased Remus. "I'll pick you up at 5:30 and we'll walk to Hogsmeade to apparate. Do please dress in muggle clothes, we'll be going to London."

"Thank you so much, Remus. This is so kind of you, till Saturday," she said smiling.

"Till Saturday," he said, looking relieved.

She had looked so happy when he asked her. He thought she must be really desperate if she was willing to agree to dinner with him on her birthday. But what if her happiness had been genuine? What if she liked being around him? The thought warmed him, but he quickly shook it away, for those thoughts were the most dangerous of all. For they held the most hope.

Hermione walked to Transfiguration with a radiant smile that could have lit up the night sky. She was going on a date with Remus and she couldn't be happier. Of course it wasn't a real date, he didn't think of her that way, but at that moment, she didn't care. She would get him all to herself for a whole night and that left her feeling weightless with immeasurable joy.

XXXXXX

The week flew by as Hermione conferenced with Ginny on what to wear and how to do her hair for her dinner with Remus. Ginny and Draco of course knew about the surprise party that awaited their friend and Ginny felt bad that Hermione would be cheated out of her date with Remus. She hoped the party would make up for it.

Saturday morning dawned bright as Hermione woke with a smile. She was twenty-years old today and she couldn't have been in a better mood. She dressed quickly and made her way to breakfast to find Draco and Ginny had decorated the entire Gryffindor table. Her seat was piled high with presents and a delicious chocolate cake awaited her.

"Oh, my goodness, you guys shouldn't have! Thank you so much!", she said, grabbing her friends in a crushing hug. She truly was lucky to have them both here.

"Aw, it's nothing, Granger. Happy Birthday," said a smiling Draco.

"Happy Birthday, sweet girl," said Ginny. "Some cake and presents are the least we can do since we can't be with you tonight," Ginny slyly lied.

The three friends sat down to eat cake for breakfast. They laughed and chatted and Hermione opened her gifts. Ginny had gotten her a set of beautiful silver bangle bracelets and Draco got her a grey cashmere scarf and matching gloves. And Molly sent a box of homemade hazelnut fudge and a newly knitted navy blue sweater. Hermione was touched beyond belief and thanked her friends for their thoughtfulness.

Remus watched the exchange from the Head Table with genuine happiness. He knew what a difference having good friends could make in one's life and Hermione had them in abundance.

Snape entered just then and sat next to Remus.

"Ah, Miss Granger's birthday has arrived. I almost forgot. I take it we are still on for chaperoning this little soirée this evening?", said an irritated Snape.

"Oh, Severus, stop it," Remus kindly admonished him. "It'll be fun, besides when was the last time you went out?"

"Mid-1800's. And as I recall it wasn't all that much fun," said Severus remarked dryly as he began to read the _Daily Prophet._

"Tonight will be fun. Harry & Ron will be there, you know. You can't give them detention or anything but you can glare at them, that should be fun," said Remus with a smirk.

"Sarcasm does not suit you, Remus. You owe me one for this," said Snape returning to his paper.

Just then, a smug Antigone entered the hall and seated herself regally at the head table, casting a critical eye towards Hermione.

"Minerva, I did not realize that students were allowed to host their own parties in the hall. Isn't that against school rules?", Antigone asked.

Minerava had to forcibly restrain herself from rolling her eyes at the young witch. What a mistake hiring her had been.

"No, Antigone, the Gryffindors have broken no rules. All students are allowed small birthday celebrations," said a thoroughly annoyed McGonagall.

"Well, they had better make sure and clean up that mess or I'll be sure to dock them each fifty points," said Antigone, looking for any way to ruin the Head Girl's birthday.

At this remark, Snape suddenly looked at Antigone and flashed a wide smile.

"Antigone, forgive me for noticing, but you look positively radiant today. Have you done something different with your hair?", he asked in a thoroughly charming voice.

"Why, thank you for noticing, Severus. Yes, if you must know I recently received a bottle of amazing shampoo from a secret admirer and I just tried it this morning. I quite like the results, if I do say so myself," she said smiling at the attention.

Her hair indeed looked lustrous, shining brilliantly in the early morning light.

As Antigone began to eat her breakfast, she happened to brush a hand though her long, elegant tresses and was immediately horrified to pull out a fistful of her perfect blonde hair.

Her mouth gaping open at the wad of hair in her hand, Antigione pulled her other hand through her hair with the same effect, her mouth hanging open in complete surprise. She began to sweep her hands through her hair rapidly as clumps and clumps of hair began falling gracefully to the floor.

"No! No! No! No!", she wailed as she rose from the head table, screaming in horror and ran from the hall at top-speed, littering the floor of the Great Hall with piles of her long, perfect hair.

Every pair of eyes, of both student and teacher alike, followed her exit. Loud chatter broke out as everyone was absolutely shocked at what had just happened.

Everyone that is, except for Severus Snape, who merely buttered his toast as if nothing had happened.

"I know Antigone relies rather heavily on her beauty products, but she really should be more careful with what she puts on her body. Looks like her shampoo was tainted with a bit of hair loss serum. That potion, when brewed by an expert hand, can be quite effective at removing every bit of hair it touches. What a pity," Severus said dryly to Remus.

"Oh my goodness, you didn't. Did you?", asked a dumbstruck Remus, his eyes wide with surprise.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Lupin," said a straight-face Severus.

Remus stared at the the potions master with a new found sense of awe and respect and reminded himself to never get on Severus' bad side.

As loud chattering once again filled the hall, Snape finished his breakfast and rose from the table. Sweeping towards the front doors, gingerly stepping around the strewn golden locks, he stopped suddenly at the Gryffindor table, right in front of Hermione.

"Happy Birthday, Miss Granger. I do hope you are enjoying your morning," said Snape working hard to suppress a smirk.

"Indeed I am, sir. Thank you," she said smiling brightly at her professor.

"Very good," he replied. He then shot her a quick wink and a grin and left the hall.

And with that, Hermione smiled to herself, for she had just received the very best birthday present anyone had ever given her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling. This story, however, is mine.**

 **A huge thanks to all the new views, follows and favs! They truly mean the world to me. A special thanks to a guest reviewer for catching my misspelling of McGonagall.**

 **Now, on with the story :)**

It was turning out to be an amazing birthday and it wasn't even over yet. Hermione spent the day reading and then walking around the lake with Ginny and Draco, enjoying their company and the crisp autumn breeze. It was four o'clock before she knew it and she returned to her suite to bathe and dress for her date.

As she laid in the warm bubble bath, she began to feel a bit nervous. She tried to relax and clear her mind and soon thoughts of Remus came to her. She remembered his hands rubbing her legs, slowly, tortuously traveling up her thighs, the thought made her stomach knot and tighten with pleasure. How she wished he were in this tub with her now, rubbing her with those skilled hands and easing her tension away.

Feeling far calmer and more relaxed now, she climbed out of the tub, cast a drying spell on her hair and put it up in a loose bun, with a few delicate curls hanging free. She was never all that adept at make up, but after twenty minutes of fiddling with blushes and brushes and powders, she looked rather good, with glossy lips, a warm glow to her cheeks and smoky eyes.

She chose a light gray silk a-line dress that hit just above her knees and hugged her every curve. For good measure, she wore the bracelets that Ginny gave her and added a black pashmina wrap to stay warm. She gave herself one last look in the mirror and smiled. She suddenly looked grown up and she felt confident. She really did.

She headed out of the Head suite and was immediately met by a devastatingly handsome Remus. He was wearing an elegant, new black suit and a crisp white button down, sans tie. He smiled at her and she melted under his warm gaze. She went to him and immediately gave him a hug, kissing his cheek. Gods, how good he smelled.

"You look beautiful, Hermione," he said, his voice soft and full of awe, forgetting for just a moment who and where they were.

She always looked beautiful, every single day in fact. But tonight she looked sexy and confident, and it was a sight that took him somewhat by surprise.

"I mean...I'm sorry, I just...I, um...I meant that you look quite lovely this evening," he said his words coming out in a rush as he tried to hide his blush.

"Thank you, Remus, you look very handsome yourself," she said meeting his eyes with a smile.

He handed her a small box and simply said, "Happy Birthday."

"You didn't have to get me a present. Thank you, you really shouldn't have."

She opened the small silver box to find an exquisite golden locket within. It had intricate engravings on either side and it opened to reveal twin indentations where small pictures could be placed.

"Remus, I...this is exquisite, I couldn't possibly accept this, it's too much," she said trying to hand it back.

"Please," he said, "I want you to have this, it was my mother's. My father gave it to her on the day they were married and in it she kept a picture of her and my father. She wore it everyday and it seemed to bring her luck and a long, happy marriage. I want you to have it now, and I hope some day it brings you the same love and happiness it brought my mother," said Remus.

The day his mother passed away, his father gave Remus the locket and told him to give it to the girl he loved more than life itself. Remus had kept the locket ever since, not even giving it to Tonks. No woman had ever seemed like the right one, that is until now.

Even if he could never have her, he still wanted Hermione to have it, for he knew that there would never be another woman for him.

At this, he gently took the locket from her hands and walked behind her. Hermione lowered her chin to her chest as Remus reached around her and clasped the locket for her. The urge to bend down and kiss the back of her neck was palpable.

With tears welling in her eyes, Hermione finally said, "Thank you, Remus. I am truly touched beyond words. I already feel happier than I ever have, thanks to you," a small tear spilling down her cheek.

"Now, now, no crying. It's your birthday," he said taking her face in his hands as his gently wiped away the tear with his thumb.

He stood proud and tall and held out his arm for her to take, "Shall we?", he asked, smiling.

"Certainly," she said.

The night was turning cooler as the sun set and the night sky turned to pale shades of red and pink. As they left the castle, she let go of his arm and gently took his hand instead and they walked to Hogsmeade at a leisurely pace. Stopping now and then to glance heavenward at the emerging stars.

They said precious little, as they walked hand-in-hand, choosing instead to relish the touch of each other's hands and the warmth of their bodies so close. As they reached the apparition point, Remus turned to Hermione and said, "You're going to need to hold me tightly while we apparate, are you ready?"

As Hermione stepped into his warm arms and felt his body pull flush against hers, she looked up into his eyes and said, "This has already been the very best birthday of my life, Remus, no mater what else happens tonight, I've already had the best time with you."

He delighted in her smile and wished that they were indeed headed to a private dinner instead of a surprise party.

"It's not over yet," he said softly, smiling and pulling her close and apparating away.

As they landed in the lobby of the seemingly empty restaurant, Hermione felt dizzy from apparating. Her heart racing, still clutching Remus and breathing in his sweet scent, she tilted her head up to see him staring deeply into her eyes.

She was a mere inch from his face when a set of double doors suddenly burst open and she heard a loud, "Surprise, Hermione!", from all of her nearest and dearest friends.

Surprised wasn't even the word for it.

She jumped in shocked at the sight and couldn't quite comprehend what was happening.

Why were all of her friends here? Slowly she realized why they were all there and she smiled as tears sprung to her eyes.

Everyone she loved was in a single room and they had come to surprise her, she felt on top of the world and lucky beyond measure.

Remus reluctantly let her go so she could hug her many friends, but not before bending down to her ear and whispering a, "Happy Birthday, Hermione," with a smile on his face.

She kissed his cheek and said a quiet, "Thank you, Remus, for everything."

Seeing the tears, Ron said, "Oh, Mione, it's alright, don't cry! Not expecting such a surprise, eh? Prepare yourself, love, we've got a great night planned," he said smiling, bringing her in for a bear hug.

Hermione said, I'm just so overwhelmed right now. Thank you all for this. I'm so very touched."

Rushed into the restaurant among a sea of her friends, Hermione turned to see a smiling Remus staring after her with something that looked remarkably close to love.

XXXXXXXX

The party was a raucous affair, with her friends filling up every inch of the small French restaurant. Harry had remembered her mentioning that it had been her favorite restaurant as a child, her parents bringing her here every year for her birthday. Even without her parents there now, she still felt them with her in spirit and that made her smile.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were there along with Bill, a very pregnant Fleur, George, Ron and his new girlfriend Claudia. Harry and Ginny were together although seemingly upset with each other by the looks of things, Draco was laughing with Neville and Luna. Severus was there, too and looked quite dapper in a charcoal gray wool suit. Who knew he wore anything but black? Harry had also brought a friend along from work, a handsome young man named Davis Clarke. Remus was talking happily in a corner with Severus but he seemed to be looking at Hermione all night long.

Everyone was talking and laughing and telling stories, eating and drinking and Hermione was having the very best time. Harry's friend Davis had tried several times to chat Hermione up and regale her with amazing stories of working as an auror and selflessly saving the day but Hermione found him to be a bit pompous.

So after what felt like hours of chit chat with the would-be superhero, Hermione excused herself to the ladies' room and was immediately followed in by Ginny.

"Are you having a good time?", asked Ginny. "I thought you might've been a bit disappointed about not getting your date with Remus. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about the party, Harry wanted to surprise you. Oh, and that prat, Davis! What a wanker, you'd think he was the one who took down Voldemort, single-handed. I hold Harry not to bring him but he thought you two might hit it off," her friend said a bit irritated.

"Oh, Gin, it's alright, really. I'm having a great time, I'm so thankful for this, really. Having everyone together like this is such a gift. But yes, that Davis is so arrogant, not really my cup of tea."

"Not like Remus, eh?", said a smiling Ginny, as she reapplied her red lipstick.

"No, very different. Remus and I...I don't know what's there or not. We're friends, certainly but I feel like there are times when there is more there, just beneath the surface. I can certainly feel it, and maybe he does too, but I can't be sure. Maybe he feels nothing but friendship for me. I've just never felt like this before. So out of control when I'm with him, like I can't stop myself from being swept away."

"I know how you feel," said Ginny wistfully.

"Just like you and Harry, eh?", said Hermione but her friend did not return the smile.

Instead Ginny looked at Hermione for a long moment before saying, "Yes, just like with Harry, you know when he finds five minutes free to spend with me," said Ginny with an angry edge in her voice.

"You two having a tough time?", said Hermione although she already knew the answer.

"You could say that. He just has different priorities now, and I feel like there is no place left for me. I've honestly felt quiet lonely for months now," said Ginny. Hermione felt dreadful for not seeing this in her friend sooner.

"Oh, Gin, I'm so sorry. I know it's tough with him not around. But he'll be finished training in a few months and then things will ease up. And until then you've always got Draco and I, and we love you dearly."

"I know," said Ginny, "that's part of the problem."

Hermione didn't understand, "What do you mean, Ginny? How's that a problem?", but before her friend could explain, Fleur came into the bathroom and their conversation ended abruptly.

Wiping a tear discreetly from her eye, Ginny said, "You know what? To hell with all these foolish men and their nonsense. They can't see a good thing when it's sitting right in their lap. Screw 'em, let's get drunk and have a fabulous time."

Hermione smiled and agreed. Returning to the table for more wine and conversation, Harry stood up and drew everyone's attention.

"I just wanted to say that we love you very much, Hemione. You are a beautiful, accomplished, brave, amazing witch and our lives wouldn't be the same without you. Ron and I would've in fact kicked the bucket many a moon ago without you there to save us."

Everyone laughed at this while Hermione smiled and wiped a small tear from her eye.

"You're one of the best things to ever happen to me and I'm sure I'm not the only one here tonight who can say that. Happy birthday, Hermione, we love. To, Hermione!", said Harry lifting his champagne.

"To, Hermione!", everyone toasted.

"Speech, speech!", yelled Ron and George.

Hermione gracefully rose from her seat and looked at all the smiling, warm faces before her.

Her family. Her heart.

She didn't know what she would've done without each and every one of them. She was lucky to be here even if this wasn't what she had planned.

"I'm really taken aback by all this. I never expected such a party and I'm truly grateful for tonight. You all are the very center of my life, I wouldn't be me without all of you. So, thank you. For being here and standing by me, I love you all dearly," she said, tears welling up again, as she squeezed Molly's hand and gave the older witch a fierce hug.

Molly smiled and looked Hermione in the eyes and said, "We're all so proud of you, dear. You're like our daughter and you mean the world to us."

"Alright, Mom, that's enough. You're gonna flatten her," called a smiling George.

Just then a huge chocolate cake with buttercream frosting appeared with twenty lit candles and everyone began to sing to her.

Remus watched her smiling at everyone, looking so happy. His heart skipped a beat when she locked eyes with him and the singing came to an end.

"Make a wish," called a smiling Draco.

Looking deeply at Remus for what seemed like an eternity, she made her wish. The wish that hid deepest in her heart. And at that very moment, Remus wished, too. She finally closed her eyes, bent forward and blew out the candles. Secretly, selfishly, Remus hoped that they both had wished for the same thing.

XXXXX

After everyone enjoyed the delicious cake and Hermione got to open her many presents, which mostly included wonderful books, the party began to wind down with everyone giving hugs and kisses to the birthday girl as they left for the evening.

Harry was the last to get going. After giving Hermione a peck on the cheek, he turned his attention to Ginny, who pulled him off to the side and gave him a small, chaste kiss. Draco tried to pretend he was talking with Severus but his glances at Ginny told another story.

Ginny and Draco shrank and packed away Hermione's gifts and at last everyone was all set to leave. Ginny and Draco left first and apparated together, with Ginny smiling for the first time all night.

Snape prepared to go, then turned and said, "Miss Granger, I do hope you enjoyed your birthday," as he bent down to kiss her cheek.

"I did indeed, thank you, Professor. I especially enjoyed my present this morning," she said with a smirk.

Professor Snape smiled and quirked an amused eyebrow before apparating with a pop.

Finally, Hermione was alone again with Remus, the only one she really wanted to be with. Remus was amused to find that Hermione had become quite tipsy from all the wine and champagne. With hooded eyes, half-closed, she clung tightly to him in order to apparate and not fall flat on her face.

Once back in Hogsmeade, they found the streets deserted and Remus found he had to hold her up most of the way, as she kept stumbling and giggling. He finally gave up half-way to the castle and lifted her off the ground and into his strong arms. She weighed nothing at all and was easy to carry as she settled sleepily against him, her head nestled between his shoulder and neck, and arms wrapped around him.

"Aw, that's much better," she said. "Why didn't you carry me the whole night, my feet have been killing me!"

He chuckled at her, "Next time, you just say the word, and I will happily tote you around."

"Hmm, thank you, Remus," she sighed, warm breath tickling his neck, causing his stomach to tighten in delight at the sensation.

"You smell so lovely, you always smell nice," she said, her lips so close to his neck. "You showered again this afternoon, didn't you? I can tell because you smell just like you do when class starts in the morning," breathing him in, "I love how you smell, like warm lilies basking in the sunshine," she said dreamily.

"Why, thank you," said a blushing Remus. She was more drunk than he thought.

"Thank you for tonight," she said, as he gently set her down at the entrance to the castle doors, but she stumbled forward again.

He merely scooped her up once more, deciding that the only way she was going to get to her bedroom was if he carried her. And so he did, all through the quiet, sleeping castle, up the many winding stairs and into her bedroom suite.

Setting her down gently on her bed, he reached down and pulled off each high heel which elicited a satisfying gasp from Hermione.

"Oh, thank you," she said gratefully, as he pulled a comforter from the bottom of the bed and covered her up.

"Good night, Hermione. Happy Birthday and get some good sleep," he said as he leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead.

She smiled up at him, her sleepy eyes full of adoration for the lovely man before her.

"Remus," she said, grabbing his suit jacket as he began to pull away, "don't go. Please stay with me. I don't like it when you're not with me. Don't you want to stay with me?", she asked sincerely.

 _More than anything_ , he thought.

"Dearest, you need sleep and I need to go to my own rooms," he said, leaning over her, trying to be rational, fighting the overwhelming urge to crawl into her sweet bed and lay with her forever.

"No, please, I don't want you to go," she said, slowly sitting up, her body turned towards him, suddenly looking more alert and awake.

She took his hand in her own and pulled him to sit down on the bed, her eyes staring deeply into his.

"Remus, I can't quite say how or when it happened but...I think you are the very best man I have ever known. I know this must sound ridiculous, but I feel like I've known you all my life, and I feel happier and more alive when I'm with you than anything I've ever known. I've never felt this way for anyone. I love you, Remus."

He sat next to her in stone silence, his mind reeling with this discovery. He tried to speak, to say anything, but his mind seemed to be on an extended break.

She had said the words, she truly said them.

Hermione Granger loved him.

The weight of those words had been immense and had flooded him with such a profound sense of happiness. He knew he would keep those four little words forever, tucked away deep inside, as the purest sense of joy he had ever known.

She leaned forward slowly, oh so very slowly.

She left plenty of time for him to stop her. He could've simply stood or turned away or said 'no'.

But he didn't.

He wanted her as badly as she wanted him and at that moment he couldn't stop himself even if his life had depended on it.

She tilted towards him and as her soft lips touched his he felt fire course through his veins as passion, deep and overwhelming, overtook his every sense. The kiss was both electric and soothing. He could've stayed there for the rest of his life, for in this moment he felt such peace of heart, like none he had ever known before.

As she deepened the kiss and started to climb into his lap, her dress slipping up her creamy thighs, he suddenly felt split right in two.

He had wanted this woman more than air. He had dreamt about this very moment for just shy of eternity. And it felt sweet and right. Her body fit perfectly against his, like two long-lost puzzle pieces finally reuniting. He wanted to give in and deepen the kiss, stop holding back and finally allow himself this joy. He wanted to make her feel as loved and adored as she had made him feel because she deserved the very best.

But the other part of him knew what he had to do.

And so, with an anguish he had never felt before, he gently pulled away from her sweet soft lips, with his body screaming in protest. She was panting as he pulled back, her lips swollen and her eyes hooded with desire.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry, I truly am, but we...we have to stop. We've both been drinking tonight and this simply wouldn't be right. I...I work here and it's my job to take care of students and I simply can't be with you," he said as he watched her face slowly crumple first in embarrassment and then defeat.

Like a hard smack to the face, Hermione felt stunned by his words. She awkwardly pulled herself off of his lap and pushed herself against her headboard, tucking her legs under and pulling her dress back down, feeling painfully self-conscious. She stared at the floor for a long moment, mortified beyond belief. His heart broke for her but he couldn't let this happen, he just couldn't let either of them make this mistake.

"I'm, um, uh...I'm...so very sorry, Professor. I've clearly done something very wrong here tonight and I'm throughly ashamed of my behavior, I have no excuse for making such unwanted advances. I clearly mistook your kindness for something else," she said, shaking slightly and fighting to regain some composure although her heart was breaking.

"No, Hermione, please don't say that. You've done nothing to apologize for," he said but she cut him off and abruptly stood from her bed and crossed the room to put some distance between them.

She simply couldn't sit there and hear his niceties, not after what she had just done and said.

"Please, stop, Professor, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't do that. I've made a fool of myself in front of you many times and your trying to act like it didn't happen just makes me feel worse."

Staring out her window into the night sky, she reached around her neck with both hands trembling and unfastened the locket. She held it for a moment, feeling it's weight in her hand and admiring its beauty one last time before she handed it back to Remus.

"I think you should take this back, save it for someone special," she said tearfully.

"Hermione, you're special to me. I want you to have it. It's meant to be yours," he said, anguished at seeing the crushed look in her eyes.

"No, this time I insist," she said in a calm, detached voice, dropping the locket into his hand.

She turned away from him to stare out her window.

"Hermione, I...", he began, but again she cut him off, "I think it's best if you leave now."

Dejected, he crossed the room and as he reached the door, he turned and said softly, "I'm so sorry, Hermione." Then he turned and left.

"Not as sorry as I am, Remus," she said to no one, "Not as sorry as I am."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling. This story, however, is mine.**

 **A huge thanks to all the new views, follows and favs! They truly mean the world to me.**

Sunday morning brought no relief as Remus sat staring out sadly from his seat at the Head table. Try as he might, not even Severus could pull the werewolf out of his melancholy as he replayed last night's events over and over in his mind. She had been so brave, she told him she loved him and he threw that love away as if it meant nothing, as if she meant nothing to him, when in reality it meant the whole world to the man. He truly and deeply hated himself for what he had done to her. His self-loathing was all he had left, his punishment for hurting the finest woman he had ever known. But he had done it for her own good, how could she be truly happy with a middle-aged werewolf? She deserved more, much more. And he couldn't be the reason she didn't get it. This thought, however, was of little comfort to the heartbroken man.

Hermione, meanwhile, wasn't fairing much better. Unable to find the will or courage to leave the safety of her room, she laid and stared out her window at the rain all day Sunday. With Remus' tattered socks on her feet, she tried to pinpoint just how she could've been so foolish to admit her true feelings. The kiss had been extraordinary, exhilarating, absolutely perfect. Better than she had ever imagined it could be. His skin, his mouth tasting of chocolate and wine, his strong, lean body beneath her legs, it had all added up to the most sensual experience of her life. She could still feel his body against her, her hands digging into his hair, pulling him closer. She reddened with embarrassment as she recalled the anguished look in his eyes as he pulled away from her. She didn't know how she was ever going to face him again.

After she didn't turn up for breakfast, lunch or dinner, Draco and Ginny were truly concerned. They camped out in front of her room for hours and Hermione finally let Ginny in to see her completely despondent.

"Tell me, please tell me what happened," said Ginny.

"Not much to tell really, I told him I loved him, I kissed him and he pushed me away. He said he couldn't be with me," said a dry-eyed Hermione, her tears having been spent hours ago.

"But he didn't say he didn't love you," said Ginny.

"Doesn't matter, he left all the same," said Hermione.

"He's shown in a million small ways he loves you, he's just afraid. He older, he's a werewolf, he's a teacher here. And besides all that, he doesn't want to see you get hurt. He loves you, of that I'm certain," said Ginny.

"You were so brave to say it," Ginny continued.

"Most people trudge through life, always holding back, hiding their true selves because they're just too damn afraid. I'm proud of you, you're braver than I am," said Ginny.

Hermione smiled sadly at her friend. Holding onto this love was pointless, he would never feel the same towards to her.

"He really doesn't love me, Gin. Every kind look and gesture were mere pity. He felt bad for me, an orphan without many friends and no one to love. He probably felt obligated, there was no one else to look after me. And I understand him pushing me away, he's a wonderful, smart, handsome man, how could he ever love me? But I just feel...I'm just so devastated. I love him so much," she sobbed and fell into her friend's lap.

She cried bitter tears for what seemed like ages, her heart and soul aching from the profound loss. Ginny for her part, merely held her friend, gently rocking her and trying her best to share the loss and ease her friend's heavy burden.

Hermione eventually fell asleep, exhausted from crying her heart out. Ginny gently laid her head on a pillow, quietly left her room and was greeted by an anxious Draco who had been keeping a silent vigil in the common room.

"What's happened? Is she okay?", he asked, his face full of concern.

"She's had her heart broken," said Ginny as she sank into the sofa and began to cry. Draco sat down next to her, taking her into his arms and holding his dear friend.

"I'm so sorry, Gin. I know it kills you to see her hurt. I didn't even know she liked anyone. Who's the guy?"

"Remus," said a tearful Ginny.

"Lupin? Really? Well I guess that makes sense," he said thoughtfully. "They'd actually make a damn fine match. Two quiet bookworms," he said, which made Ginny smile.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I wouldn't have been running all around the castle like a damn fool if I'd have known she had a thing for older gents," had said playfully.

"Stop it, it's not funny," she said, smiling at him, gently whacking his arm.

"Poor girl, she really loves him. She told him last night after they got back here and I guess he shot her down, she's absolutely wrecked."

"Poor 'Mione. Must've been hard carrying that feeling around and then finally be brave enough to admit it, only to have the other person not return your feelings," said Draco suddenly somber and reflective.

"He cares for her, I'm positive of it," said Ginny.

"Maybe the wolf just needs a bit of encouragement," said Draco with a small smile.

"What are you suggesting?", she asked, sitting up and looking Draco in the eye.

"I don't know, maybe if he thought she really was taken, it might move his ass. Get him to be honest with himself and her. Sometimes us thick-headed males need a bit of an extra push," he said smiling warmly at the beautiful red head.

"Indeed, you do," said Ginny smiling at the Slytherin.

"Well, that settles it then, we're going to make this happen for 'Mione. We'll do everything in our power. I just hope it works," said Draco.

"Me, too," said Ginny, "me, too."

XXXXXXXX

Monday morning in the Great Hall found Hermione walking towards the Gryffindor table, mustering all her strength to appear normal, but anyone looking close enough could see something was amiss. Her skin was pale and her eyes sunken and dark. She looked weak, almost sickly. She approached the table and saw a smiling Draco stand and give her a warm hug.

"You holding up alright, Granger?", he asked quietly.

She gave him a weak smile and nodded. She sat down facing away from the Head Table so she wouldn't have to look at Remus.

"How about some breakfast?", asked Ginny. "Some waffles or eggs?", she asked kindly.

"I'm not really hungry, Gin, but thanks," said Hermione.

Just then a large brown owl swooped down and landed in front of Hermione, holding a sealed envelope. Hermione offered the bird some sausage in exchange for the letter. Draco and Ginny watched in silence as she opened and read the letter to herself.

 _Dear Miss Granger,_

 _Kindly meet me in my office following breakfast. There is a matter we need to discuss._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Professor McGonagall_

 _Oh, shit_ , thought Hermione. _McGonagall knows._

Remus must've told the headmistress about the kiss, worrying that it was his fault and now Hermione was going to be booted out of school.

 _Well, this is a fitting end to an illustrious educational career,_ she thought sadly. She could see the _Daily Prophet_ headline now, _'War Hero Expelled from Hogwarts for Throwing Herself at Unsuspecting Professor'_.

 _Well, fuck it_ , she thought ruefully, might as well get this over with. She figured she could be packed off and at the Weasley's by lunch if she played her cards right.

"Professor McGonagall has requested that I see her in her office. I should get going, don't want to keep her waiting," said a defeated Hermione.

"We'll see you in class afterwards, right?", asked Ginny.

"Yeah, sure," said Hermione although she was convinced she wouldn't be a student here for very much longer.

She walked to the Headmistress' office and said the password to the waiting stone gargoyle and the stone steps opened for her.

As she opened the door, she was saddened to see her suspicions confirmed. There sitting in the room was Professor McGonagall and Remus. Her heart sunk deeper into her stomach as she gathered all her courage to enter the room.

"You wanted to see me, Headmistress?"

"Ah, yes, Miss Granger, do please come in. Have a seat," said the headmistress, as she shuffled some parchments about on her neat desk.

She sat in the only chair available, which happened to be next to Remus. His hair was still damp from his morning shower and he smelled of his usual lilies and sunshine. The smell immediately brought back the memory of his tender, sweet lips, how his mouth had felt on hers, the immeasurable pleasure it had brought her. Hermione shivered at the thought. He offered her a small smile, full of regret and unease. As well he should feel uneasy, the girl who forced herself upon him was seated right next to him.

"Miss Granger, you look slightly peaked this morning? Are you feeling alright?", asked the headmistress.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine, thank you," Hermione replied quickly. "I, um, just didn't sleep that well this weekend," said the Head Girl.

The headmistress smiled knowingly. "Overdid your birthday celebrations?", she asked smiling.

"Indeed," lied Hermione.

"Well, the reason Professor Lupin and I asked you here this morning was to offer you an exciting opportunity," said Professor McGonagall.

"Excuse me? An opportunity?", asked a thoroughly confused Hermione.

What was McGonagall talking about? Wasn't she about to be expelled?

"Yes, as you are aware, the full moon is only two days away and Professor Lupin will be undergoing his monthly transformation. As such he will be unable to teach his classes the day following the full moon. I have looked into getting him a substitute but qualified teachers trained in the subject are hard to come by, as such we are empty-handed at the moment. I have heard from Professor Lupin and many others that you are an exceptional tutor, as I would expect you to be. Given your natural abilities and our current situation, we would like to offer you the chance to fill-in for Professor Lupin this Thursday and teach his classes while he recuperates. This opportunity could be a wonderful stepping stone towards a teaching career, if that interests you. You would be excused from your own classes that day and if this goes well, then we can make it a recurring position each month. Do you think you might be interested?"

Hermione was speechless. She wasn't being expelled, far from it, in fact. She was being rewarded for all her hard work. Of course she was thrilled to be offered such an opportunity. Tutoring this year had been wonderful and she had recently begun considering a career in teaching. This couldn't have been a better opportunity, it unfortunately came at the worst possible time.

"I am sincerely grateful for this opportunity, Professor McGonagall. I really am, I'm just not sure if now is the best time for me," said Hermione.

"There are one or two other seventh years who could handle this in my place, Draco Malfoy or Hannah Abbott, perhaps. They both excel in Defense. Perhaps Professor Lupin should consider them instead," chancing a glance at a quiet Remus.

Looking surprised, the headmistress said, "Are you quite sure, my dear? This is an amazing opportunity that has never been offered to a student. Professor Lupin and I have been discussing this for weeks and both feel your incredible brilliance and dedication make you a perfect fit. I certainly haven't changed by mind. Professor Lupin, do you have any reason to have changed yours?", asked McGonagall.

Since returning to school, Remus and McGonagall had planned on asking Hermione to handle his class following the full moon. After seeing her tutor, he knew she would be incredible in front of a class. He had wanted to give her this chance, but after Saturday night he had indeed tried to convince McGonagall that Draco should fill-in instead. He simply didn't want to force her to be around him, helping him. Not after what he had put her through. But without a valid reason for the switch, for he certainly couldn't tell the headmistress the truth, McGonagall had decided that Hermione was the best choice.

"I have full faith in Miss Granger's ability, I always have," said Remus.

"Hermione," he said, now looking right at her, though she avoided his eyes, "I think you will be amazing in front of the students. You have a gift with them, and will do an exceptional job. If you want this chance, it is yours to have. I wouldn't want anyone else besides you," said Remus.

"I, of course, understand if you can't spare the time or simply aren't interested. But if you do choose to do this, know that you would have my eternal gratitude," said Remus, hating having to ask her for this, but there simply weren't any other viable options.

Gathering her strength and poise, Hermione sat up a bit taller and said, "I would be honored to fill-in for Professor Lupin this Thursday," all the while looking at the headmistress. "Thank you both for this opportunity."

Smiling, McGonagall said, "Excellent. Then that is settled. Thank you for helping, Miss Granger. I'm sure this arrangement will work out splendidly."

The headmistress dismissed them both.

Once the office door was shut, Hermione quickly descended the steps, with Lupin not far behind, the tap-tap-tap of their shoes hitting stone, echoing through the silence.

Remus finally caught up to her at the bottom of the steps.

"Hermione, could you please stop for a minute?", asked Remus as he caught her arm and gently pulled her around to face him.

She merely looked up at him mutely with a cold stare and she pulled her arm free of his grasp, causing his heart to sink into his toes.

"Hermione, I'm so very sorry about Saturday night. If you could just let me explain, I care so much for you but," she put up a hand to silence him.

"Professor Lupin, there is no need to ever discuss what happened again. I am perfectly aware of what transpired and how you feel, no need to talk about it any further," she said, all business.

She continued, "If you would be so kind as to owl me your lesson plans for Thursday, I will be more than prepared to fill-in for you. Again, thank you for this opportunity," she said, her mouth set in a hard line.

And with that, she turned and swept quickly down the hall, leaving Remus to feel the burn of her cold detachment and to wonder just how foolish he had been to turn her down.

XXXXXXXX

Choosing to ignore her pain and embarrassment, Hermione flung herself headlong into her work, spending most of the week in the library studying for classes and preparing for Thursday. She avoided the Great Hall for the most part, choosing instead to stop by the kitchens for buttered rolls and hot chocolate. Draco and Ginny missed their friend but knew that she was dealing with her pain in the only way she knew how, by studying and forsaking all else.

Classes went by mostly without incident, her teachers noticing that Hermione seemed suddenly even more driven and hyper focused than usual, and for Hermione, that was saying something. Defense was the only exception. Hermione stayed completely silent while in Remus' class, avoiding his gaze, not answering a single question and barely participating. Remus chose to let it slide, understanding her need to feel invisible.

Dinner on Wednesday night found an exhausted Remus at the head table. Severus brought him his last dose of Wolfsbaine and as Remus took the potion, he caught Hermione looking at him and their eyes meet for the first time in days. He felt the heat of her gaze and the discomfort of it, but he couldn't bear to look away and much to her surprise, neither could she. Remus finally broke the contact and left the Great Hall, headed toward the Shrieking shack, and Hermione realized that she felt nervous for him. She knew how hard the transformations were, even with the aid of the Wolfsbaine. She knew a long night lay ahead of him and she hoped it wasn't too painful.

However once the full moon was high in the sky, Remus experienced a painful transformation and once in werewolf form, Remus tapped into all of his repressed anger and self-hatred and he raged and howled all night. Not allowing himself to sleep or even stand still for long, he paced through the shack and threw himself against walls, he broke furniture, he let out every ounce of anguish pent up inside of him. He raged and raged until the sun mercifully rose.

XXXXXXXXX

Hermione was wide awake by four-thirty on Thursday morning and after tossing and turning for another thirty minutes, finally decided to get out of bed and prepare for her big day. After a quick bath, she put on her best school robes and pulled out Remus' lesson plans for the day to go over once more. When she finally felt ready, she packed up her supplies and was about to leave for an early breakfast. But as she reached the door, she felt a pang of worry for Remus and she headed back to her nightstand to grab one last thing.

She headed through the quiet castle, the sun barely up and walked the familiar route to the hospital wing. She stood outside of the doors for a moment, wondering why she was even here. He didn't care for her, why did she still care for him? Why was she worried?

Without pausing to examine her own complicated feelings, she pushed open the doors, to find a quiet and mostly empty hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey saw the Head Girl and approached her immediately.

"Miss Granger, how nice to see you, are you feeling alright this morning?", asked Madam Pomfrey warmly.

"No, no, Madam Pomfrey, I'm fine. I was actually just checking on Professor Lupin. Is he doing alright?"

Madam Pomfrey smiled sadly at the young girl. "Professor Lupin actually had quite a rough night, he returned not too long ago, covered in cuts, a few of them quite deep and multiple bruises. He lost more blood than usual, too. I'm not sure what happened, the Wolfsbaine usually helps stop him from hurting himself too badly. He's just taken a Sleeping Draught and is resting now."

"May I see him?", asked Hermione before she could stop herself.

"Of course," said Madam Pomfrey, "But just for a few minutes."

The older witch pointed Hermione towards the only occupied bed at the end of the room. She walked towards his bed and stepped around his privacy screen and gasped quietly at the sight that greeted her. Remus' body was covered in bandages all along his torso, legs and arms and he was covered in dried blood. His face had a deep cut along his right cheek. He looked peaceful while asleep, but she knew how hard the night had been on him.

Seeing him injured, she felt so saddened and helpless. The tears came unbidden as she sat down on his bedside and took his warm hand in hers. If she could just hate him, feel angry at him, focus on all of his bad points, then she would be able to stop loving him and she could put this all behind her and move on with her life.

She wanted to hate him. She truly did. She wanted to rage against him and curse his name, tell everyone who would listen what a heartless bastard he was. She knew that hating him would be easier, simpler than what she was feeling. Because loving him, with no possible hope of him returning that love, was terrifying. That a part of her heart could be given to another, never to be returned again was a crushing realization. So she wanted to hate him instead.

But try as she might, she simply couldn't find it in herself to hate him. As much as her heart ached for a reprieve from this pain, she couldn't let go of the hope that maybe one day he could love her, too.

So she sat with him and held his hand and watched him sleep. As the sun rose higher in the morning sky, she knew classes would be starting soon and so she finally summoned the strength to stand. She bent down and brushed his sandy blonde hair away from his face and gently kissed his forehead. She then pulled a large bar of chocolate from her robes and placed it on his bedside table.

The last thing she did before leaving was to pull out the socks that Remus had given her on the night before school started. She tenderly put the socks onto his cold feet, rubbing each one for good measure and then covered them with his blanket. She gave him one last look and saw him smile in his sleep. She then turned and headed off to teach, leaving the hospital wing as if she'd never been there.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

 **Thank you all for the kind, thoughtful, encouraging reviews. I appreciate them more than you'll ever know.**

Remus awoke in the late afternoon feeling far more relaxed and refreshed than he had expected. His bruises and cuts were mostly healed thanks to Poppy's usual diligence and he wasn't nearly as fatigued and sore as he usually felt after a transformation.

As he sat up, he spotted a large, thick chocolate bar on his bedside table and immediately devoured it, wondering how his favorite treat had gotten there. For he knew Poppy hadn't left it, she had always chastised him for his penchant for junk food and would never leave him such a decadent treat.

He also noticed with some surprise, that he had on warm socks, another oddity. He had always hated the hospital wing for he felt it was the coldest part of the castle, even worse than the dungeons, his bare feet usually freezing whenever he woke up here. But today they were covered and warm, how strange, he thought.

He pulled his thin blanket aside and noticed then that the worn socks on his feet were his own and suddenly realized with a pang that they were the ones he had given Hermione.

It all suddenly clicked into place. His favorite chocolate, the warm socks.

Hermione had obviously come to see him this morning while he was asleep.

He was so moved by the thought of her coming to see him, after everything he had done to her. Why she would care and coddle him was beyond him. He didn't deserve such kindness.

Seeing him awake, Poppy began poking and prodding him, running more diagnostic spells and administering several healing potions, before clearing him to leave. He quickly dressed and left the hospital wing, hating to stay there any longer than was strictly necessary. He was headed towards his rooms when suddenly he decided to take a detour and head towards his classroom instead. He knew Hermione would soon be finishing up the last class of the day and he wanted to peek in and see how she was fairing.

As he neared the class, he saw the door was ajar and he could hear wild cheering and shouting, the students sounded ecstatic. He peered in to see Hermione walking quickly around the classroom, observing pairs of students battle against each other using a variety of hexes and protective spells. The air was positively on fire with spells bursting and colliding with each other and ricocheting off the walls. And yet she walked through this battlefield calmly, her curly hair wild and her face flushed. She walked with such confidence as she helped students sharpen their wand movements, strengthen their stances and correct their pronunciation.

She looked strong and fierce.

She looked, in a word, amazing.

"The key to good defense is to know your opponent. Try and anticipate their next move, and remember to keep your wits about you. Don't let one hex cause you to lose your confidence. Focus is key," she spoke above the din.

She looked so confident, as if she were born to lead and teach. The students also seemed to be responding to her teaching style, with many students throwing excellent hexes and many more deflecting and protecting themselves with ease. They looked proud of themselves, as well they should, they were learning from a legend.

As she finished helping a young female Slytherin with a complicated deflection spell, she turned to see Remus peeking in and watching her, his face full of delight at what he was witnessing. She froze for a moment and gave him a small nod before helping another student recover from a full-body bind.

A few minutes later, class was finishing up and students began filing out, talking excitedly about all the complicated hexes they landed and thanking Hermione for the wonderful lesson. Remus waited until the classroom was empty and then walked in to see Hermione packing up her books and notes. She knew who was there without having to look up.

"Glad to see you're up and about so soon, Professor. You must be feeling better," she said a bit aloof, not wanting to betray her happiness at seeing him.

"Yes, I seemed to have bounced back more quickly than usual. I was heading back to rest but I wanted to stop by and see how your day went. Obviously it went quite well. I knew you'd be a natural," he said smiling at her.

He wanted so desperately to have their usual, easy banter and revel in the closeness they had once shared.

She dropped her guard for just a second and offered him a reluctant smile and said, "I don't know about being a natural, but I certainly did enjoy today."

She saw him smile warmly at the comment and knew she had to recover her poker face if she was going to make it through this conversation without embarrassing herself.

Putting her professoional demeanor back in place, she continued, "The classes all went well, and I feel like the students responded well to me. Thank you for this chance, I'd love to cover for you again next month if the arrangement suits you, Sir," she said, once again maintaining her distance, which saddened Remus beyond words.

"I would be delighted if you would continue filling-in for me when I'm unable to teach. Thank you for doing this, I really am in your debt," he said.

"I am happy to have been of help. You've always gone out of your way to help me, it's the least I can do," her eyes downcast as she headed towards the door.

As she reached the door he said, "Thank you for the chocolate and the socks this morning. I didn't deserve such kindness from you but you offered it all the same. I appreciate you and your thoughtfulness, always."

At this she stopped and turned to face him, looking him full in the eyes. She smiled sadly in response and said, "Get some rest, Professor Lupin."

And with that, she was gone.

XXXXXXX

Weeks passed quickly as Fall settled in and the trees put on their full-color display. October came and Hermione found herself frequently sitting by the lake to do her homework and to read, relishing the last bits of warmer weather knowing a long, cold winter would soon arrive. Keeping busy with school work and tutoring had proven a good strategy for the Head Girl. She was often too busy to even think about Remus and what had happened on her birthday. She seemed to stay in constant motion, like a shark, moving from one project or paper to the next. But when she did stop, slow down even a little, she was hit with a longing like none she had ever known before. She still loved him and it hurt, physically hurt, to be without him.

Remus, too, was trying his best to put on a brave front. As the semester progressed, Hermione maintained her distance and Remus respected her wishes. She was either too angry or too embarrassed to try and be friends again with him, so he left her alone, figuring it was for the best. But he underestimated just how much he would miss her. Her sweet smiles, her laughter, her friendhship had been like warm rays of sunshine on a bitterly cold day, for she had given him warmth and light where previously there had been little. He did his best to ignore the loss, focusing on his classes, his Gryffindors, his colleagues and tried to fill his days as best he could. He thought if he could just stay busy with life, then eventually his heart would fall into step with his brain and soon he would put this behind him. But at night, when all his work was done and there were no distractions, he succumbed to the sweet sadness and allowed himself to miss her. He missed their midnight teas, their talks, their closeness. He hadn't been close to many people in his life and precious few over the past handful of years. Her friendship had been such a blessing, such a healing balm on his shattered soul. And now that it was gone, he felt truly alone.

As the middle of October approached, the castle soon became abuzz with excited students distracted by the upcoming Halloween ball. As Head Boy and Girl, Hermione and Draco were busy helping Professors McGonagall, Snape and a thoroughly pissed off Clemens with planning and decorating. Clemens had missed a full two weeks of class while she tried every potion and serum know in the wizarding world to try and regrow her lustrous hair. So far, however, it had only regrown an inch. Needless to say, the History professor had never been in a fouler mood, much to Hermione's dismay. At least the Head Girl wasn't the only one who was not looking forward to this ball.

Because of a busy work schedule, Harry wouldn't be able to accompany Ginny to the ball. Although disappointed by his absence, Ginny agreed to go with Draco as friends, and this had pleased the youngest Weasley immensely. Every seventh-year seemed to have a date except for Hermione, which hadn't escaped her friends' attention. So two weeks before the ball, Draco and Ginny decided to launch their plan.

At dinner that night, Draco casually excused himself from Ginny and Hermione and headed towards the Head Table, walking straight for McGonagall.

"Excuse me, Headmistress, I apologize for interrupting your dinner, but I had a question regarding the Ball?", asked Draco, as most everyone at the Head Table turned to look at the Head Boy.

"Of course, Mr. Malfoy, it's no trouble at all. How may I help you?", asked McGonagall.

"I was just curious, are students allowed to invite outside guests as their dates? I ask because Harry Potter is good friends with a young auror named Davis Clarke. Davis would very much like to accompany Hermione Granger to the Ball. However, he wanted me to check and see that this was allowed before he asked her formally," said Draco, the very picture of innocence.

He knew very well that students could invite outsiders, but he had to plant a seed of worry in Remus. He noticed with delight out of the corner of his eye, that Remus had stopped eating and was watching the Head Boy now with rapt attention.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy, that is allowed. You may tell your friend Mr. Clarke that we look forward to having him. I'm sure he's a very special young man if he is taking our Miss Granger," said the headmistress with a smile.

"Thank you, Professor," said Draco with a bow and a smile as he left a stunned Remus and returned to the Gryffindors.

Remus was indeed taken aback by Draco's question. Well, she had moved on. He should have felt good about this but instead he felt absolutely wrecked. He had seen this Davis Clarke fellow at Hermione's birthday party and he had noticed the interest the young man had shown in her. Of course Hermione would be going with him. He was a young, handsome, brave auror. What wasn't to like?

"Well, that's nice that Miss Granger will have a date to the ball. For a moment there I was quite worried," said Severus in his usual dry tone.

"Indeed," said Remus. "Good for her. I'm sure she'll have a wonderful time," he said with forced cheer.

"Oh, come off it, Remus. You've been moping around this damn castle for weeks and so has she. It's obvious something happened between the two of you, so have out with it," said Severus, in quiet tones.

Remus only stared at him with his mouth opened. "I have no idea what you're talking about," Remus practically hissed. "Nothing has or ever will happen between Miss Granger and myself," he said angrily.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you don't want something to happen, now does it?", said an astute Severus.

Flustered and angry that Severus could so plainly see the very thing he was trying to hide, Remus dropped his voice low and said, "That's, that's just...that's preposterous! I'm old enough to be her father! How dare you accuse me of lusting after her! I do have some decency, Severus."

Severus leaned close to his irate friend and said, in a low whisper, "You have been in love with that young woman since the war ended. It's written all over you. Her friendship has made you happier than I've ever seen you, and if you recall, I've known you for twenty-five years. So do please spare me the righteous indignation. You can deny it till you're blue in the face, but you and I both know that's not going to do you a damn bit of good. I've seen the way you two look at each other. Why are you running from this?"

Remus hated when Severus was right.

"I'm not running," Remus said softly. "I'm just giving her a chance at a normal life. It's what she deserves. It doesn't matter now anyway, does it? She's got herself a nice boyfriend her own age. It'll be good for her," he said utterly defeated.

"Fine, have it your way, Lupin. Let me know how that works out for you," said Severus as he pushed away his unfinished dinner and swept from the hall.

All the fight suddenly drained from Remus and he felt weak and tired and longed to sleep for a month straight.

At the Gryffindor table, Draco had returned and gave Ginny a discrete wink as he sat down. This was Ginny's cue to handle her side of things.

"So, 'Mione, I was thinking. I was talking to Harry this weekend and he mentioned that his friend Davis was quite taken with you and fancied asking you out for a date sometime," said Ginny.

"No, thank you," said Hermione. "I'm not really ready yet to start dating, plus he was kind of a bore."

"You know Harry said that Davis was actually really nervous that night and was just trying to impress you. Harry said he's actually a top-notch guy, maybe worth a date," Ginny lied.

"I don't know, maybe a date sometime could be okay," said Hermione. If she was going to try and get over Remus then going out on a date with Davis was a probably good start.

"Excellent, what do you say you invite him to the Halloween Ball and get to know him a bit better? Draco and I will be there, so you won't be on your own with him and I bet he'd swoon seeing you all dolled up," said Ginny as she gave Hermione a nudge and an exaggerated wink.

"Oh, alright," said Hermione. Agreeing with Ginny was easier than arguing.

She owled Davis the next morning and was surprised to receive his positive response just an hour later. Well, now she had a date to the ball, at least she wouldn't have to sit alone all night, which was more than Remus could say.

XXXXXXXX

Halloween morning finally arrived and the entire student body couldn't wait for the ball. After lunch was finished, Hermione and Draco spent the afternoon transforming the Great Hall into a warm, romantic venue. They removed the usual long, oak tables and replaced them with smaller, more intimate round ones with a large dance floor in the center of room. The hall was then decked out in grey, gold and white decor. Crystal chandeliers floated throughout, lit with the glow of a thousand candles. Countless yards of luscious gold fabric draped elegantly along the wooden walls and gave the hall the feeling of warmth and comfort. White roses, gardenias and lilies graced the center of each table. Vines of fragrant jasmine wrapped around the doorways and chairs and ice sculptures of dancing witches and wizards stood thought the hall. After hours of hard work, the Hall was finally ready. It looked breathtaking.

Hermione and Draco both headed back to their suite to get ready. Ginny and Davis would be meeting them at 6:00 in the Great Hall so they only had two hours to prepare. Draco was of course showered, dressed and waiting in his dress robes after twenty minutes but Hermione took the full two hours and only emerged from her room with five minutes to spare.

"It's about damn time, Granger! What have you been doing up there?", asked an irritated Draco from his seat as he heard her descend her steps with the click-click of her heels. But when he turned and caught sight of her, he immediately realized what she had been doing for two hours.

Hermione looked absolutely stunning. Her hair was done up in an elegant French twist, her make-up was simple yet impeccably done. But it was her dress that made him do a double-take. The previous weekend spent in Hogsmeade, Hermione had found the perfect dress. Black silk organza, that swept to the floor in graceful waves, like the undulating sea at night. It hugged her every curve, it truly looked like it had been made for her. With a somewhat deep front slit, showing off a tasteful amount of cleavage and a backless tie at the neckline, it was certainly not a dress for the faint of heart. Certainly not a dress she would've worn a year ago. But as soon as she tried it on, she knew it was the one. She felt confident and beautiful in it.

"Hermione," said a momentarily stunned Draco, "you look amazing."

"Thank you," she said smiling. "I feel amazing. You look quite dashing as well."

Smiling at his good friend, Draco offered her his arm and said, "Well, we can't keep them waiting all night. Shall we?"

She gratefully took his arm and headed happily off towards the Great Hall, blissfully unaware that her life would be forever changed before the night was through.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

 **Your sweet, encouraging reviews are such a treat to read! Thank you reading and reviewing.**

Remus was hurrying, his long legs carrying him as fast as he could run. He hadn't left enough time to get ready for the ball and was now rushing to the Great Hall so he wouldn't be late. Quickly shucking on his formal robes and running a hand through his disheveled hair, trying desperately to look somewhat put-together, he raced into the front hall and was greeted by a veritable sea of smiling students, all dressed up and chatting happily amongst themselves. He smiled and greeted many of them, as he quickly waded through the excited crowd and ran ahead to join the faculty as the very last one to arrive, earning him a disapproving look from McGonagall.

Her faculty finally assembled in its entity, the headmistress called for the crowd's attention.

"Welcome one and all, to our Halloween Ball. Before we enter the hall, I would like to remind all of you that this event is no different from any other formal function and thus we fully expect you to carry yourselves with your usual decorum. I would also like to thank our Head Boy and Girl, Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger, for painstakingly transforming our hall for this evening. We do hope you all will enjoy yourselves and we wish each of you a very Happy Halloween!", said a jubilant McGonagall.

With a flourished wave of her wand, the Great Hall doors were opened as the students audibly gasped in delight at the sight that greeted them. Students filed in excitedly as music spilled out and the promise of a fun-filled night lay ahead of them. Remus hung back and waited until the last students had walked in. He hadn't seen Hemione among the crowd, and surmised that she must've already been inside. He turned to leave the empty front hall when he finally spotted her.

He stopped dead in his tracks, all thoughts of being here as a chaperone, completely vanished from his mind. She looked ethereal, elegant, and graceful on Draco's arm as they descended the grand stairs, heading toward a stunned Remus. As Hermione caught his eyes, she offered a slight smile and approached him.

"Good evening, Professor Lupin," she murmured.

Draco caught sight of the smitten werewolf, smiled to himself and gave Hermione a friendly peck on the cheek. Draco then gave Remus a friendly nod and let go of Hermione's arm to go and find Ginny. Alone together in the front hall with Remus, Hermione felt flushed, being so near him again, the closest they had been in weeks.

"Hermione...you look absolutely beautiful," said Remus, his voice full of wonder at the stunning woman before him. That Davis was truly a lucky bastard.

She blushed at the warmth in his words and said, "Thank you, Professor. You look quite handsome yourself."

Staring at each other for what seemed like ages, Remus grasped for any kind of conversation.

"You're, um, you're here with Davis Clarke, is that right?", he finally managed, his mouth suddenly dry, his palms suddenly sweaty.

"Yes, Harry's friend from my birthday party. He should be here already, I really should go and find him," she said smiling slightly, although she truthfully could not care less about seeing Davis and made absolutely no move to leave, her eyes lingering unabashedly on Remus.

"Oh, yes, of course, I'd hate to keep you from your date. And I have chaperoning duties to attend to. Minerva will have my head if I'm caught shirking my responsibilities," he said with a warm smile, finding himself rooted to her side.

She smiled and chuckled softly at his comment, reveling in being so close to him, enjoying this precious, private moment far more than she should be.

After several long beats, the familiar tension began to grow and she knew it was time to leave before she had the chance to make a fool of herself.

"It was good seeing you, Professor," she said with a small smile, as she reluctantly turned to go.

But as she started to walk away, Remus quickly caught her hand and gently pulled her to a stop. His warm fingers tenderly clasping her own, she felt her breath catch and her pulse quicken, her heart springing to life at his careful, delicate touch.

"You truly look incredible tonight. I hope you have a wonderful time," Remus said earnestly, staring deeply into her beautiful eyes, his thumb tracing a tender line across her fingers.

She slowly smiled at him, silently rejoicing at his heartfelt words and his touch, redolent with such care.

Without thinking, she closed the distance between them and offered him a tender kiss on his cheek, her hand gently cupping his face, savoring his scent and the feeling of his soft skin beneath her lips. He bowed his head and leaned into the touch, closing his eyes to bask in the moment, never wanting it to end.

"Thank you, Remus," she softly uttered, pulling back ever so slightly to his eyes closed and his lips quirked in small smile.

She wanted more than anything to stay here, right here, beside him, forever. But she knew she had to leave, and so she turned and walked into the Great Hall with a knot in her stomach that hadn't been there just a few minutes ago.

XXXXX

The ball was in full-swing as Hermione made her way into the hall. Happy students danced and laughed and were enjoying the beautiful hall. Many students stopped her to compliment her on the amazing decorations and her gorgeous gown. She spotted her friends sitting at one of the far tables, and headed off towards them, trying to shake the tingling that suffused her whole body as she left Remus. She found Draco, Ginny and Davis talking and laughing as she approached their table.

"Good evening, everyone. Hello, Davis, thank you for coming," she said, being as gracious as she could to the young auror.

Looking quite enchanted, Davis stood and bent down to kiss her hand.

"Hermione, you look beautiful this evening. Thank you for inviting me," he offered with a huge, confident grin.

"It's my pleasure," she said as he pulled out a chair for her. They sat and chatted for a while, visiting with all her friends and relishing the rare joy of just relaxing and having fun.

She took turns dancing with Seamus, Dean and Draco, as Davis seemed to prefer holding court at their table and flirting with every girl in the castle. But she honestly didn't care at all. She drank and ate and laughed and was having an amazing time, despite her date's wandering attention. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so young and carefree. Weightless with the unfamiliar feeling of happiness, her face was already sore from smiling and laughing so hard.

Remus watched her with delight, she was having such a wonderful time, by the looks of it, and that sight alone brought him immeasurable joy, even if he couldn't share in it with her. He walked the hall throughout the night, stopping to chat with colleagues and students alike, everyone seemingly happy and carefree, including himself. He smiled as students danced and flirted and he studiously turned a blind eye as a few brave souls stealthily ducked into side halls for privacy. He smirked as a pair of particular eager and ingenuous seventh-year Ravenclaws, cast a disillusionment charm to shield their amorous activities.

As Remus caught sight of Severus heading off with a scowl to catch them and deduct house points, Remus grabbed him by the shoulders, effectively halting his progress and gently pulled him aside.

"Oh, come on, Severus, let them be. They're older and they deserve some privacy," Remus offered kindly.

Severus merely crossed his arms in annoyance and quirked a defiant eyebrow.

"You really expect me, of all people, to let this kind of thing slide?", the potions master asked.

"Oh, far be it from me to deny the great Severus Snape an opportunity to yell at students," Remus offered with smirk.

"No, I'm merely asking that you delay punishment for a bit. Give them a few minutes of enjoyment before you go busting up their fun," Remus asked, smirking at his friend, as he offered him a glass of punch.

Severus let out a huffy sigh but made no move to leave. He took the proffered glass with a smirk and settled beside his friend.

"They get five minutes, Lupin, not a minute more. I do have a reputation to uphold," Severus said while eyeing the crowd with his usual sneer.

"That's very generous of you, Severus. I'm sure the week of detention they will receive will be well worth it," Remus said with a genuine smile.

"Honestly, Lupin, what does it matter to you if I punish them? They're breaking several school rules and lest you've forgotten, it is our duty to ensure they comply with those rules. It's for their safety, it's for their own damn good," Severus said, his irritation apparent.

"Believe me, Severus, I have not forgetten my position here. It's just that...tonight's special. For us, it is simply part of the job, one more obligation, one more night wasted sipping the same punch and making the same small talk. But for them...this truly is a special moment," Remus said with a wistful smile, his eyes floating across the sea of happy students before him.

"This is a huge night for them, someday they'll look back on this evening with fondness. A brave few might finally pluck up the courage to ask the object of their affection to dance. I'll even wager that a few might fall in love before the night's through. You remember that, don't you? How exciting it all felt?" Remus asked sincerely.

Severus rolled his eyes at his friend's sentimentality, but Remus pressed on.

"I'm just asking you to remember, Severus. Remember what it was like to be sixteen, and liking a girl so much you thought your heart would refuse to beat without having having her, and how incomparable it felt when that girl finally returned your affections. That's an incredible feeling, don't take that from them," Remus asked, his voice suddenly full with emotion.

"Can't say I have too many memories like that, Remus," Severus offered honestly, his voice softening ever so slightly.

"Yeah, me neither," Remus smirked sadly.

The pair stood silently on the edge of the dance floor for a long time, recalling being in a similar spot throughout their own school days, always on the edge, never having the girl.

As Hermione crossed the room to grab more punch, Remus' gaze followed her and he let out a wistful sigh, one that did not go unnoticed by his companion.

"Miss Granger looks lovely this evening," Severus offered quietly, his arms crossed.

"That she does," Remus said softly, averting his eyes from her beautiful form.

"That Neanderthal she brought has barely paid her any notice. Typical, of course. If he's friends with the likes of Weasley and Potter, one can hardly expect much in terms of courtesy or consideration," sneered Severus.

"Ron would've at least danced with her by now," Remus noted with a small smile.

"Well, since they aren't here to save the day, perhaps you should play the hero. Ask her to dance," Severus said, nudging the wolf with a friendly, encouraging elbow.

"Not tonight," Remus muttered, with a small shake of his head.

"If not now, Remus, then when?", Severus said pointedly.

The pair resumed their silent vigil, as Remus mulled Severus' words over in his mind.

 _If not now, when?_

 _Never_ , a small voice in his mind replied. _You'll never be good enough for her._

His throat burned and tightened with the sudden melachcoly that gripped him, his previous good mood disappearing swiftly as reality set in. He would never be the one to please her and revel in her. That joy would go to another, someone younger, more handsome, more deserving than he and that thought left him suddenly shaken and dejected.

Pulled from his melancholy by another nudge from Severus, Remus looked up just in time to see a pair of fourth-year Gryffindors spiking the punch bowl with glee apparent on their young faces. They reminded Remus so much of James and Sirius, he noted with a small smile.

"Surely, you can't deny me this, now can you?" Severus asked with a smirk, clearly itching to despense some punishment.

"By all means, Severus. Go enjoy yourself," Remus said with a smile as Severus stalked off and caught the young offenders in a iron-grip, hauling them off the dance floor to a future filled with scrubbing cauldrons.

Alone once more, Remus resumed his post and his mask of fake cheer and politeness, offering more pleasantries while keeping a half-hearted eye out for any rule breaking. He was diligent and responsible like a grown man should be but his eyes never strayed far from her. He watched her dance and laugh and he selfishly wished that he could be a student once more and enjoy this special night by her side, rather than from a distance.

As the night wore on, Hermione and her friends settled at a large table where everyone laughed as Davis told many an embarrassing story about Harry and Ron. He had the whole table full of seventh-year Slytherins and Gryffindors clutching their sides with laughter at their tales of auror-training-gone-wrong.

"And then we had these two dodgy wizards cornered in an alleyway after they ripped off a few paintings from a shop in Diagon Alley," said Davis, all eyes on him.

"But Harry didn't see Ron behind him and just as he was going to cast a body bind on the two crooks, Harry slipped on a pile of trash and ended up blasting a hole clear through Ron's pants! That kid's lucky he didn't loose his bollocks!", he said to uproarious laughter.

Although funny at first, something about the way Davis was making fun of her friends, wasn't sitting well with Hermione.

"This isn't very fair," said Hermione finally. "Harry and Ron aren't even here to defend themselves. I'm sure they're amazing at what they do, you're just pointing out their most glaring mistakes."

"Oh, I can assure you, they've done even worse," said a smirking Davis.

Hermione gave him a scowl and he relented. "Alright, alright no more mean stories," he said rather teasingly. "How about a dance instead? Would that do?"

"Very well," said Hermione, as she reluctantly let him lead her to the dance floor.

Once on the crowded dance floor, Davis pulled her tight against his body and began to dance with a bit too much force, rubbing hard against her, his hands digging into her side a bit. She honestly felt uncomfortable and tried a few times to loosen his grasp and put a bit of distance in between them. But Davis was a good six inches taller than Hermione and a good bit stronger.

"What's wrong? Don't you like being close?", he purred into her ear, his words a bit slurred. His obnoxious stories and borish behavior now made sense.

"Have you been drinking tonight?", she asked, eyeing him critically, her irritation bubbling to the surface.

"Ah, just a little. That's certainly alright, isn't it? I'm a grown up after all," he said rather condescendingly.

Any good will Hermione had felt toward the young man was now completely gone and all she now wanted to do was ditch him and head back to her suite. _What a waste of a great dress,_ she thought ruefully.

"You know, I'm getting a bit of a headache, I think I'm going to call it a night. Thanks again for coming," she said as she freed herself and started to dart away. But even drunk, Davis was quite quick and caught her wrist in his painfully strong grasp before she could slip away.

"You didn't think I'd let you get away that easy, now did you? Ron told me you could put up quite a fight, but I don't mind a challenge," he said, now leering at her, and grasping her waist even tighter.

Her eyes began to dart around wildly looking for someone to help but everyone seemed to be busy. How she wished she had her wand right now.

"You're hurting me," she said, anger and fear rising in her chest. "Let me go," she hissed.

"Not without a kiss first. C'mon, you know you want it. Wearing that dress," he said, his fingers dipping along the front of her gown to graze her breast. "Don't pretend you just invited me here to dance," he said against her ear, his hand slipping to her rear and gripping her tight.

"I said 'no', now let me go," she hissed in his face, trying to pull free. But this only proved to strengthen his tight grip.

"Don't be such a cold fish! Loads of girls would die to be in your shoes right now! So stop being such a cocktease," he said angrily, as he shoved a rough hand into her hair and tried to pull her forward for a kiss.

Just as his lips were about to touch hers, Davis was suddenly and violently jerked back by an irate-looking Remus, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

The werewolf had seen him touching Hermione and flirting and had did his best to ignore it but when Davis grabbed her and she looked panicked, Remus raced through the crowd of students to stop him.

"Hermione, are you okay?", Remus asked, his eyes wide with concern, while still clutching the young man tightly by his robes.

She only nodded, feeling gratitude and relief rush through her. The students closest to them had stopped dancing and were staring with rapt attention at the sudden turn of events, as Minerva and Severus arrived to see what had caused such a kerfuffle.

"Is there a problem, Professor Lupin?", the headmistress asked, alarmed at seeing the young man being manhandled by one of her faculty.

"Minerva, this young _gentleman_ ," Remus said pointedly with venom in his voice, "was making unwanted advances towards Miss Granger and he went so far as to assault her. I intervened on her behalf."

The surrounding crowd was now openly gawking at the scene, causing Hermione to blush furiously at the unwanted attention, her head bowed in shame, as if she had done something wrong. Remus' heart broke for her. He knew this had to be dealt with in private. Rage pulsing through him like jackhammer, Remus wanted to deal with the young brute right there on the dance floor but didn't want to embarass Hermione any further.

"Headmistress, I do believe, Professor Lupin can handle this incident in private," Severus said with a pointed glance to Remus.

Minerva pursed her lips at the young auror but didn't disagree.

"Very well, Professor Lupin, do dispense with this quickly," said the headmistress, her lips pursed in disgust at the disgraced auror.

"You're coming with me," Remus quietly hissed into the young man's face, pulling him off the dance floor and through a side door, the young man's feet barely touching the ground as Remus had him in an iron grip. Hermione followed quietly in his wake.

"The rest of you," Severus said to the assembled crowd, "carry on as you were."

When the stunned students still stared openly at the scene, Severus snapped, "There's absolutely nothing to see here. Now find a suitable dance partner or I shall partner you up myself!", he hissed with annoyance.

At this, students quickly paired off and resumed their dancing, much preferring to find their own partners than allow their potions master to do so. As the music began again and the dance resumed, the students quickly forgot the little scene and happily returned to the joyful evening.

Once they were safely ensconced in the empy front hall, Remus pulled Davis up to a standing position and screamed into the young man's face, "Just what do you think you were doing in there!?"

Davis tried to explain to the angry professor. "We were just dancing, sir," said a suddenly fearful Davis, his earlier swagger completely gone. "I... I swear," he stuttered.

"From what I could see, you were being very rough with Miss Granger. Is this how they teach you to behave in auror training? This is how you treat a young lady!?", Remus screamed at the cocky young man, shaking him roughly for good measure.

"I swear, sir, she was having fun, weren't you, Hermione?", asked Davis, looking truly terrified being held so tightly by the towering, angry professor.

"No, as a matter of fact, I wasn't. You're drunk and I had asked you to let me go, and you refused to listen," she said matter of factly.

Remus had to call upon every ounce of self-control not to tear the young man limb from limb, right on the spot.

"Mr. Clarke, since you have proven yourself to be a complete and utter degenerate, who can't even treat a young lady with the respect she deserves, do kindly remove yourself from this castle and never contact Miss Granger again unless you wish me to hex you into oblivion," said Remus, barely holding his rage in.

"Have I made myself perfectly clear?", said Remus, in a dangerously low voice.

Davis only mutely nodded as Remus finally released him and Davis bolted through the castle doors and out into the clear night.

Remus slowed his breathing and saw Hermione was shaking.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?", he asked, gently touching her arm, it was cold to the touch. He cast a warming charm over her, trying to bring her some comfort.

"No, he didn't hurt me, not really. He scared me and ripped my dress on the side, but otherwise, no, I'm fine. Just shaken up," she said feeling unsure of how things had turned so badly, so quickly.

He looked down at her and saw the ripped fabric on the side of her dress, exposing her sweet pale skin just above her hip. He saw an angry, red welt there. It tore him apart that anyone could hurt her with such ease.

So while she stood there, still shaking with nerves, he slowly knelt down next to her, his body a hair's breath from hers and he murmured a quiet healing incantation which made the nasty welt disappear and the pain vanish. He then said, " _Vestis_ _Reparo"_ and she watched the rip in her dress stitch itself back together, fixed good as new.

She was in awe of this amazing man before her, still on his knees, trying everything he could think of to make her feel better. He was always such a gentleman, which she realized was such a rare thing to find in a man. He was genuinely a good person, with such a kind heart that had been hurt far too many times. She longed to make him feel loved and protected in the same way he had done for her.

Before she could even think about what she was doing, she gently ran her fingers through his soft hair, her fingertips grazing his ears and murmured a quiet, "Thank you, Remus. I don't know what I would've done without you," she said smiling, with tears in her eyes.

Their eyes met and he melted a bit under that gorgeous smile, his stomach tightening under her gaze.

He stood now and was close enough to hold her, should he choose to be so foolish.

"I'm so sorry he treated you with such disregard. You deserve so much more than that," he said.

"Thank you, Remus, you're always too kind to me," she said, looking deeply into his lovely, gray eyes.

How she missed looking into them. She felt herself being pulled away by so many overwhelming emotions and she knew she needed to break the contact before she made a fool of herself.

"I, um...I think I'm going to turn in now, I've had quite a night," she said as she turned to head back to her rooms.

But he couldn't let the night end like this for her. He had to make it better, so before he could stop himself he said, "Please don't leave yet, I would hate to see you go."

She smiled as she heard the words, remembering that they sounded so like the words she had uttered to him in her own bedroom.

From inside the hall, they could hear the music change from fast-paced to a slow dance and Remus stretched out his hand towards her and asked, "Hermione, may I please have this dance?"

She knew she should politely decline and turn in for the night, after all he was just being nice. But she found she couldn't walk away from him. The hold he had on her was too strong, too fierce to deny. She wanted, no...she _needed_ to be near him, to know that good men still existed. As much as it saddened her to admit, she needed him now more then ever.

She smiled and nodded and took Remus' soft hand as he gently lead her back into the hall and to the dance floor, his protective fingers interlaced with her own. Draco and Ginny were already dancing, leaning into one another and they smiled at each other as they saw the head girl and the werewolf return.

The enchanted ceiling twinkled with a thousand stars and the candles from the chandeliers cast a warm, soft glow across the hall.

The dance floor was full of couples and friends dancing, including several faculty dancing with several students, as was school tradition, including the Headmistress dancing with Dean Thomas and Professor Snape dancing with Pansy Parkinson.

So no one batted an eye as Remus gently took Hermione in his warm, protective arms, pulling her flush against his body. No one, that is, except for the astute potions master, who merely cracked a small, genuine smile at the sight.

Her hand around Remus' neck, their soft hands clasped and warm bodies touching, Hermione's heart raced at the contact. His body felt amazing against hers, like it belonged there. His hand on her bare back, he began to rub slow, small circles on her soft skin with his thumb and his featherlight touches made her weak in the knees, as they slowly danced to the music. Hermione felt so safe and protected in his warm embrace. The world and all its darkness felt a million miles away.

They were quiet for a very long time, as the music and magic and candle light swirled around them, cocooning them in their own little world. As the song began to wind down, she finally found the courage to speak.

"Why are you doing this?", she quietly asked, looking up into his eyes. "Why did you want to dance with me?"

"Why did you say 'yes'?", he asked in response. "Why would you want to dance with me? Surely you hate me after what I've done to you, as well you should," he replied, anguish etched across his face.

"I don't hate you, Remus. I never could, not even when...not even after all that has happened between us."

Tears prickled her eyes and she swallowed hard to fight down her feelings.

"I don't want to talk about that tonight. I just want to put that all behind us," she said, looking away.

"Yes, that would be the sensible thing to do, wouldn't it?", he said, looking at her, loving the way she felt in his arms.

"The problem though is...that I miss you dearly and I can't seem to stop thinking about you," he said looking right into her beautiful brown eyes.

She suddenly felt hot and dizzy, as her mind reeled at his words. He had missed her. He had been thinking about her. She felt suffocated in the hot hall and abruptly tore herself from Remus' arms. Tears welled in her eyes as she discreetly rushed out of the hall to an adjourning balcony. Remus followed her, giving a concerned Ginny and Draco a reassuring nod, indicating that he would take care of her.

He found her on the balcony, hugging herself against the cold night air and trying desperately to catch her breath.

"Hermione, are you alright?", he asked, walking up behind her and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

She whipped around, her face streaked with tears, her whole body shaking.

"Please, please dear gods, don't touch me, Remus!", she shouted, looking so anguished, backing away from him like a frightened animal.

"Don't look at me with concern, don't follow me out here," she pleaded, shaking with hurt and confusion.

"Don't you know what I feel when you do those things? It's all pity from you and I don't want your pity! Every kind word and touch makes me love you all the more, it makes it all that much harder to stem this tide. So please... just leave me be," she said looking so very exhausted.

Tilting her head back and staring into the cloudy night sky, biting her lip to stop herself from howling out in anguish.

"Remus, I obviously care far more for you than you care for me. And every time I'm around you, I get so swept away by what I feel for you that I end up making an utter fool of myself. I simply can't take it anymore. I promise to leave you alone, I sincerely do. But I also need you to leave me alone. I'm sorry...but I just can't...I can't be your friend. It will never be enough for me. I can't chat with you and act like everything is fine. I can't pretend that I don't love you with all my heart. I wish I could, but being so close to you without having you is torture. So please...just go inside and leave me be," she said resignedly.

He couldn't bear to see her so hurt, to let her keep on thinking that he didn't love her. He could stand it no longer. Something within him broke wide apart and he knew that he couldn't keep ignoring that voice deep inside of him. So he crossed to her and took her in his arms, even as she tried to wriggle free of his grasp, he held her and stared deeply into her sad eyes.

"Do you honestly think I don't care for you? That you don't fill my thoughts constantly? I burn for you, Hermione. I think of you every day. I dream about you. I watch you at dinner, I skulk about the library just hoping to catch a glimpse of you. I adore everything about you. You are a bright, kind, strong, fierce, amazing woman who also happens to be breathtakingly beautiful. You are the finest person I have ever known and your friendship and love mean everything to me. And I'm eternally sorry for ever making you think otherwise. I love you, Hermione... I always have," he said, his voice redolent with such sweet tenderness.

She was too shocked to speak. Luckily she didn't need to, for at that moment, Remus leaned forward and passionately took her lips with such a raw fierceness she nearly fainted from the sensation.

The cold night air seemed to vanish as her skin suddenly felt ablaze under his passionate touch. He took her face in his hands and poured every ounce of love and longing into that kiss to show this beautiful witch just how much he adored her, needed her. She leaned into his long body and grabbed at his robes, pulling him flush against her, feeling his strong arms wrap tight around her.

Her beautiful warm body moving against his made him growl as pure pleasure ripped through his body and he deepened the kiss, not holding back anything. Tasting her with such abandon, touching her soft skin, holding her without fear had been a wonder he could have never fathomed with his limited imagination. He likened it to the sweetest of all freedoms, it honestly felt like flying or falling off of a cliff, he wasn't sure which.

They kissed and held each other as if their very lives depended upon it, each not believing their own amazing luck. Then she suddenly stopped and pulled way. He looked so saddened to relinquish her precious lips.

Gasping for breath, she slowly found her voice and asked, "You...you really love me?", looking incredulous, not being able to fully comprehend what had just happened.

"I really do," he said smiling at his beautiful witch. "I love you, Hermione Granger, I always will," he said smiling.

She blessed him with the loveliest smile in all the world and then launched herself back into his arms for another taste, being swept away in a tide of immense pleasure. They were both so lost in each other's embrace that they didn't see Antigone watching them from the doorway with a wicked, satisfied grin.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

 **Thank you, as always, for the kind, encouraging reviews. They have been so wonderful to read. You guys are the best :)**

"Well, well, what do we have here?", Antigone asked aloud, looking triumphant.

At the sound, Remus and Hermione jumped apart as if having been electrocuted, looking guilty and embarrassed as the history professor made her unwanted presence known.

"Correct me if I am wrong, but aren't relationships between students and faculty strictly forbidden?", Antigone asked in mock curiosity. "Why, yes, I do believe they are forbidden," she said, relishing in their obvious discomfort.

"Or did Miss Granger take another tumble and land on your face, Remus? Do explain, I'm quite confused," asked the malicious blonde.

"Antigone, go inside. This is a private matter between Hermione and I, it does not concern you in the least," said a furious Remus.

"Doesn't concern me? I do believe Minerva will feel differently," and with that, the tall blonde swept back inside, headed directly for the headmistress.

Remus turned to see a shocked Hermione.

"Oh my, gods, what have we done? We are going to be in so much trouble," she said looking terrified.

He crossed to her and held her, kissing her hair and reassuring her, "Don't worry, everything is going to be fine. Trust me," he said.

Although try as he might to project confidence, he honestly didn't know how Minerva was going to take the news. He was worried.

Giving Hermione one last tender kiss, relishing her sweetness, they headed back inside. Across the hall, they could see Antigone talking to an angry-looking McGonagall. Minerva then caught sight of Remus and Hermione in the balcony doorway and frowned as she made her way over to the pair.

"Professor Lupin, Miss Granger, in my office. Now," her face alight with anger.

She turned and swept away. Remus and Hermione, followed in her wake, feeling dread rise with each footstep.

But before they could make it out of the Great Hall, Hermione turned to see an incredible sight. She saw Draco and Ginny kissing passionately on the dance floor. Hermione was taken aback by the display, not believing what she was seeing.

It was unfortunate then, at that very moment, that Harry Potter had arrived to surprise his girlfriend and he caught sight of the pair on the dance floor. The look of hurt on Harry's face made Hermione wince.

She momentarily forgot about her own doom and strode towards Harry and gently tried to steer him out of the hall but Harry shrugged off her touch and ran full-speed toward Draco. The Slytherin had just pulled back from Ginny's lips with a huge smile of his face, when Harry's fist connected with his mouth.

Draco never even saw it coming.

The punch knocked Draco straight to the floor, as blood sprung from a deep cut on his face. Ginny screamed in shock and anger and the entire hall quieted.

"How fucking dare you touch her!", roared Harry who hauled Draco back to his feet only to punch him square in the face again, this time blooding his nose.

By now, Severus had arrived was using all his strength to hold back an enraged Harry and Remus was pulling Draco to a sitting position, assessing the extent of the damage. Hermione merely held a sobbing Ginny.

"She's my girlfriend, you prick! You had no right to kiss her, you knew we were together!", raged Harry, straining against Severus, howling to be set free.

Draco looked deeply ashamed for hurting Harry and Ginny, two of his only good friends.

"Harry, I'm so sorry, we didn't mean for any of this to happen. I didn't mean for you to get hurt. But I love her," said Draco.

At this, the entire hall seemed to gasp. Harry paled, his frantic thrashing ceased at the young man's declaration. He turned with mournful eyes to address Ginny.

"Do...do you...love him?", Harry asked the red head, tears suddenly wetting his eyes.

"I do," she said, now crying. "I'm so sorry, Harry, I never meant to hurt you," Ginny said, barely louder than a whisper.

Anger coursing through him, Harry started to lunge once more at Draco but stopped short as he saw the headmistress appear, looking positively livid.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy, you will stop this fighting this instance or I will hang you two up by your thumbs for a week. Both of you to my office now. Miss Weasley, Miss Granger, kindly join us. Professor Snape, Professor Lupin, and Professor Clemens, if you would please escort these students to my office," said Minerva as she swept away.

And so the motley crew set off for McGonagall's office to await their doom as the Ball came to an abrupt end.

XXXXXX

Walking at a furious pace, Minerva wondered just what else could possibly go wrong tonight.

Was it too much to ask that all of her students and faculty behave for a single night? Just one night? Was that such a tall order?

 _Damn teenagers and their hormones. Damn faculty and their hormones,_ she thought angrily.

This must be why Albus never held the damn ball, what a pain in the ass this had turned out to be. She was getting too old for this shit, she thought sourly as she entered her office to see the four upset teens and the three professors.

"Alright, let's see here. We will dispense with Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy first. Boys, kindly tell me what transpired," said the headmistress as she seated herself at her desk.

"I came late to the ball to surprise Ginny, she wasn't expecting me. I finished up work early and came to be with her. When I arrived, however, her and Malfoy were...kissing on the dance floor. I, uh, kind of lost it and punched Malfoy...twice," said Harry succinctly. After years of getting in trouble, he was obviously use to explaining his brash behavior.

"Mr. Malfoy, do you wish to file criminal charges against Mr. Potter for assault?", asked the headmistress.

Draco merely shook his head, holding a rag up to the deep, bloody cut by his mouth. "No, Professor, that won't be necessary. I deserved it," he said morosely.

"Damn right you did," said Harry bitterly.

"I really am sorry, Harry. This was a horrible way for you to find out," said a contrite Draco.

"Yeah, I'm sure you really give a shit how I feel," said a dejected Harry.

"Language, please, Mr. Potter," said a slightly amused Professor Snape. This ball had turned out to be far more entertaining than he had expected. He reminded himself to tell Minerva that they should have these kinds of dances more often.

"Alright then. Mr. Malfoy please head to the hospital wing and have Madam Pomfrey examine you. Miss Weasley, back to your dorm room, please. And Mr. Potter, do kindly refrain from assaulting one of my students again," said McGonagall.

The three teens stood and began filing out, with Harry angrily leading the way and Draco quietly taking Ginny's hand as the pair walked out as one. Hermione smiled at the sight, they looked good together. That left the Head Girl remaining behind like a prisoner awaiting execution.

With the door shut, Minerva let out a deep sigh.

"Well, now that that is taken care of, let's move on to the more serious matter of the evening. Before Potter decked our Head Boy, Professor Clemens came to me with some very serious allegations, Professor Lupin, do you care to explain yourself?", asked McGonagall.

"Professor Clemens witnessed a private moment between Miss Granger and I. We kissed on the balcony," he plainly admitted.

At this Severus' eyes popped wide as a small smile quirked the corner of his mouth, secretly proud of his friend for finally doing something. This night was just getting better and better.

"Oh, they did more than kiss, believe me, they were really going at it by the time I arrived," said a smug Antigone, causing Hermione to turn a deep shade of scarlet.

"Thank you, Professor Clemens for that colorful description. Your presence is no longer required this evening, do please leave and make sure the students have retuned to their dorms," said a weary McGonagall.

Antigone looked crestfallen and opened her mouth to complain about being dismissed, wanting to see some punishment being doled out. But Severus cut her off with a sharp, "Off you go, Antigone, why don't you try and find something to do that is actually of some use," as he slammed the door in her face with a satisfying thud.

Severus remained in the room as Minerva sat quietly weighing her options before finally speaking.

"Has this ever happened before?", McGonagall asked the pair.

Hermione faltered at this question, unsure of whether to admit to the kiss they shared on her birthday, but before she could decide on an answer Remus said a succinct, "No", and Hermione didn't contradict him.

"Forgive me for asking so bluntly, but was this kiss merely physical or was there something more to it?", Minerva asked.

"We have known each other for years and care deeply for one another. She is my dearest friend and I love her, Minerva, as she loves me," said Remus, looking Hermione in the eye while he spoke, clearly not shy about his feelings for the young witch.

Hermione smiled at his declaration, feeling such an incredible rush from hearing him say it, even under the watchful glare of the headmistress.

"Very well. Miss Granger, would you kindly wait in the hallway while Professor Snape and I speak with Professor Lupin?", said the headmistress.

She nodded and stood to leave, giving Remus a worried glance. As she soon as she left the office, she was confronted by a gleeful Antigone.

"Little Miss Perfect, caught snogging a teacher. What a fall from grace. Such a pity, you really should have left him alone, at least then you would been able to stay here. Now you'll be tossed out like yesterday's trash and he'll be all mine," said Professor Clemens.

"He could never be yours, he loves me," said a defiant Hermione.

"Ha, no one could love the likes of you! And once you're out of sight you'll be out of his mind. I know you were the one who made all of my hair fall out, I could just never prove it," hissed an angry Clemens.

Hermione opened her mouth to defend her innocence but Clemens cut her off.

"Catching you tonight, while it doesn't make my hair grow back it certainly does add a spring to my step. Enjoy your last night here, girlie," said Antigone as she flashed a cruel smile and sauntered away.

Hermione watched her leave with venom in her heart as she sunk to the stone floor awaiting her judgement.

Inside Minerva's office, Remus was facing an eerily calm headmistress.

"What were you thinking, Remus? Were you even thinking at all?", Minerva asked sadly.

"I know I've broken your faith in me, Minerva, and I'm sorry for abusing that trust, but I will not apologize for what I've done. This isn't some sordid affair, I'm not some pervert lusting after every girl who enters my classroom. I was not looking for this, but it happened all the same. I love Hermione and she loves me. I will not change that to suit your rule book," he said defiantly.

"Did you really think that I would allow this?", she continued.

"You assumed I would be okay with one of my faculty kissing a student? Dating them? I am exceedingly disappointed in you, Remus. I trusted you with my house and my students and you've broken that trust. Miss Granger may be of age, but you've crossed a line tonight. You may think you've done nothing wrong but I feel you have taken advantage of a young woman's heart at a vulnerable time in her life. You're older, you should know better. I will only say this once, Remus, so consider this your only warning. This ends here, tonight. You will not pursue Miss Granger. Do you understand me? I will not tolerate any type of romantic relationship between the two you. So you will go out there and tell her that you made a mistake and that you do not wish to see her romantically. She has a bright future ahead of her, Remus, don't stand in the way of that."

"And what if I refuse to do that?", asked a stunned Remus.

"Then I will fire you, Remus and Miss Granger's position here as a student will be jeopardized," said McGonagall, hating herself for issuing such a harsh ultimatum.

"Have I made myself clear?", she needlessly asked.

"Crystal," said Remus softly, feeling devastated at the thought of losing her.

Remus stood on shaky legs and numbly walked out of the room. Severus was still there, however, seated quietly in front of Minerva. She took in the disapproving glare from her deputy and asked a sharp, "What, Severus? What would you have liked me to do? I had no other choice," she said defensively.

"You know, Minerva, sometimes you can be completely fucking heartless," said Severus as he rose and swept from her office.

"As a matter of fact, I did know that, Severus," she said to no one, as tears trickled down her cheeks, aching for Hermione and the pain she was about to experience.

Out in the hallway, Remus was just catching up to Hermione, who had been pacing up and down the hall, trying to quell her nerves.

"What happened? What did she say?", asked Hermione. But from the stricken look on his face, she knew the answer. "She said we couldn't see each other, right?"

He only nodded as she began to quietly weep and his heart broke anew at the sight but he kept his distance, not allowing himself any comfort in touching her.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I let this happen," he said, tears threatening to fall from his anguished eyes.

"This is all my fault. I couldn't...I couldn't not have you. I know how selfish and childish that sounds. But I've wanted you for so long and I was so tired of fighting that. Fighting against my only joy. Pretending I was fine without you. Seeing you with that boy...it made my blood boil, the very thought of another getting to touch you, feel your skin, taste you. Have you all to himself, I couldn't bear it."

"But this is wrong and I should've seen that earlier. I've lost everyone I've ever loved. I can't let that happen with you. I don't want you to suffer. I'd rather not have you than see you suffer some terrible fate because of me. I'm cursed, Hermione, you're better off not knowing my love."

"Minerva is right, this is for the best," he said trying so hard to believe his own words, for her sake, if nothing else. "We'll never know peace while we're together," he said sadly.

She stood stock-still absorbing the new reality, this new world where she knew the pleasure of his lips but would never again get to taste them. This must have been how Adam and Eve had felt. She realized with a pang that it might've been better to have never known his touch than to know it all too well and suffer a lifetime without it.

She wanted to scream at the injustice, but instead she took his hand and bravely said, "I understand. I'm sorry, for everything. I hope you can forgive me." And with that, his dear love rushed down the hallway and out of sight.

As she swept away, his very soul tore apart as his one joy was taken from him. He hung his head in his hands and wept bitter tears at the loss, one he knew he would never recover from.

The heart can only take so many blows before it stops working all together.

He stood there for what seemed like hours, and finally felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. It was Severus. He had seen Remus and Hermione speak and had waited out of earshot to make sure his friend was alright.

"What did you tell her?", asked Severus, his voice uncharacteristically soft and full of concern.

"She had it all figured out by the time I returned. She knows we can't be together," Remus said sadly.

"You're just going to take this then, are you? Let Minerva dictate who you are allowed to love?", asked an incredulous Severus.

"What choice do I have?", said defeated Remus.

"What choice do you have!? You always have a choice!", yelled Severus.

"Not this time. Hermione will graduate and move on with her life and I'll stay here and live out a quiet existence," said Remus, his eyes downcast, his heart breaking.

"And people call me cruel," lamented Severus.

"I'm not being cruel, I'm being responsible. It's for her own good," said Remus, looking truly exhausted.

Severus merely shook his head in disgust.

"Some fucking Gryffindor you turned out to be. Never ceases to amaze me what a poor job that Sorting Hat does. What a fucking coward you are," said Severus, his cold voice dripping with venom.

"Don't," Remus warned, stepping up close to Severus, his face a mere inch from his, looking positively murderous.

"As you so kindly reminded me, not one hour ago, I am a teacher here and I am duty-bound to honor and protect my students. I don't have the luxury of picking and choosing which rules I enforce," Remus spat, his body quaking with pent-up rage.

"Minerva has forbidden this and I must follow it, for Hermione's sake as well as my own. Besides all that, Minerva's right, Hermione deserves better than to be tied down to some old werewolf," Remus offered dejectedly, sitting down heavily on a windowsill as his anger drained once more, exhaustion and sadness taking over.

"Some rules are worth breaking, Remus," Severus offered defiantly.

"And some rules must be followed, no matter how much they cost us," Remus stated softly.

Severus sat beside his friend and sighed in frustration. The duo sat in silence for a long time, listening to the wind pick up force and rustle the dry tree leaves, as distant rumblings of thunder echoed through the quiet castle.

Severus finally broke the silence, in a last ditch attempt to convince his friend. And he did it the only way he knew how, by being honest with him.

"I know thinking rationally isn't the qualifying attribute of a Gryffindor, but I want you to try and listen now, Remus. Really listen for once in your life," said the potions master.

"Fuck the job, Remus. They come and go, as I'm sure you of all people are aware. If Minerva can't allow you this one thing, then fuck her, this school doesn't deserve to have you."

"Secondly, fuck decorum. You'd really live your life worrying about some outdated code of conduct? Worrying about what others might think? Waste of time, if you ask me. Being reviled isn't that bad, trust me."

"And finally, fuck your feelings of inadequacy. Regardless of how poorly you view yourself, Miss Granger is obviously able to look past your glaring deficiencies and care for you, just the way you are."

"Besides, these are all merely excuses you are hiding behind," continued Severus.

"In truth, you're afraid. You've lost everything this harsh life has ever bestowed upon you. Of course, you're afraid, as well you should be. But you can't let that fear control you. Find some of that famous Gryffindor courage and go after her. Believe me, Remus, pain is something you can learn to live with, but regret...that truly is unbearable," Severus offered, his voice full of immeasurable sadness.

"So grow some balls, Remus, and tell her you'll love her, no matter the consequences. She won't hold out forever, the smart ones never do," Severus said, knowing that sad truth all too well.

Severus was right, as usual. Hermione was the most important thing in his life and he loved her beyond measure, and contrary to what Minerva believed, that wasn't something he could simply turn off. Remus gave his friend a quick smile and thanks and raced down the hall, knowing just where to head.

He tore through the corridors, his heart pounding and his head clear of thought save for one, his beautiful love. He flew up stairs and down hallways and finally made it to the astronomy tower. He raced up the steps of the tower and tore through the top door to see her silhouetted against the open window, staring out at the stormy night sky. She turned in surprise at the sight of him and she knew, she just knew.

He raced to her and grabbed her up, catching her lips in a searing kiss and it suddenly felt as if the world had stopped spinning on its axis for just a moment. He held her tight and kissed her over and over again until he needed air.

He pulled away from her, seeing her smile through her tears and he said, "I'll never stop loving you, Hermione, no matter what happens. I'll always be yours."

"And I, yours, Remus. Forever."


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

 **Thank you, as always, for the continued reviews and encouragement. You guys are fabulous!**

 _My lover's got humor_ _  
_ _She's the giggle at a funeral_ _  
_ _Knows everybody's disapproval_ _  
_ _I should have worshiped her sooner_

 _If the heavens ever did speak_ _  
_ _She's the last true mouthpiece_ _  
_ _Every Sunday's getting more bleak_ _  
_ _A fresh poison each week_

 _'We were born sick,' you heard them say it_

 _My Church offers no absolutes._ _  
_ _She tells me, 'Worship in the bedroom.'_ _  
_ _The only heaven I'll be sent to_ _  
_ _Is when I'm alone with you_

 _Hozier, 'Take Me To Church'_

It had begun to pour, with the wind howling and rain blowing in all around them, soaking them through, but they hardly noticed. Hermione felt a joy and pleasure that was indescribable. She had climbed the tower looking for solace from the night sky, for some privacy in her grief. When she saw him return, her heart found a joy she thought had been forever banished. She kissed him and rejoiced like a prisoner being granted a reprieve.

"What about McGonagall? She'll get rid of us both if she finds out," said Hermione, worry and anxiety clear in her voice.

"Then we won't let her find out," he said, looking deep into her lovely eyes, sounding so sure. "I love you, I won't let anyone take that from me. I want you as my own, forever," he promised, clutching her dearly.

Her heart skipped a beat at his words, for she felt the same. They stared into each other's eyes for a long time. He began kissing her again and she melted under his rapturous touch, feeling herself being swept away by the pleasure. They both seemed to want the same thing but we're too shy to come right out and say it, so Remus found a bit of courage and offered her his hand and said, "Come with me."

She gladly took it as he led her out of the tower and back through the castle. Sneaking about after what had happened with McGonagall, Hermione should have felt nervous, but she didn't. She was with a Marauder after all, and she knew they wouldn't get caught. He held her hand as they walked in silence and he led her through many an unfamiliar passage until they finally reached his rooms.

Once inside in private quarters, with the door sealed and warded, he suddenly felt his nerves take hold.

"Would you care for some tea?", he kindly asked, looking for something to do to ease the sudden tension.

"Yes, please," she answered softly.

"It'll just take a moment, make your yourself at home," he said, disappearing into his kitchen.

She looked around and took in his beautiful quarters. It was tidy and organized, sweet and comforting, just like Remus himself. There was a sitting room, with a worn leather sofa, a fireplace flanked with full bookshelves, a sitting chair and desk. Off to the right was a small kitchen where Remus was busy making tea, and to the left was his bathroom and bedroom.

"You're soaked," he said, walking up behind her, setting down the tea tray as she examined his many books.

He cast a drying charm on them both, the magic washing over her, flushing and tingling her skin with much appreciated warmth. He then bent down to gently kiss the back of her neck, nuzzling her sweet curls, his warm breath gracing her skin, causing her to sigh with pleasure as she leaned back against him. He ensnared her in his capable arms and held her tight, his body molding perfectly to her own, their breath and heart beats matching one another's.

She tilted her head back against his firm chest, she felt positively dizzy with delight. Laying against him, she could feel his heart beating through his chest and knew he was just as excited and nervous as she was.

She turned to face him and gave him a small smile, feeling nerves rise in her chest. Her eyes swept over his face, taking in his beautiful eyes, his kind smile, his full red lips, the sprinkling of soft stubble that graced his cheeks. She silently marveled at how strikingly beautiful he was, she could hardly believe that she was close enough to hold him, touch him, kiss him.

She reached a soft hand up and cupped his cheek. Remus closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, feeling unworthy of her tenderness. She smiled at this and gently pulled him close to take his soft lips, still not quite fathoming that she could just kiss him whenever she wanted to. She deepened it and he tenderly took her in his arms once more. Their kisses quickly became more passionate and intense as their mouths and hands began to explore and touch and tease with greater confidence. Their desire mounting, she led him back to his sofa, the tea long forgotten, and gently pushed him into a seated position.

He couldn't deny how exciting it felt to touch her and have her, he in fact couldn't recall a time where he felt more turned on, his body felt electrified with desire. But as excited as he felt, he also knew this was all most likely new to her and he wanted to let her set the pace. So he let her take the lead and he smiled as she pushed him onto his sofa. She stood before him looking more alluring and sexy than anything he had ever laid eyes on.

His chest heaving, his heart racing, he watched her with hungry eyes, full of desire. He wanted her, every part of her and that alone set her heart ablaze. Holding his gaze, she felt so bold, so very sexy and wanted. She had never felt anything approaching this kind of desire and confidence. He gave her that feeling and she loved him for it. She liked being the center of his world, feeling like she had all of him just to herself.

Without pulling her eyes from his, she reached down and slowly pulled up the hem of her flowing gown to reveal her long, creamy, legs and clutched the fabric in her hand, leaving only the very tops of her thighs covered. His breath hitched at the sight of her luscious legs and a small moan of surprise escaped his lips. She was revealing herself bit by beautiful bit and he thought he might die from the sheer torture of it. But if he had to pick a way to go, this would definitely be it.

She smiled as she stepped forward and gently climbed into his lap, slowly bringing her body to rest against his own. Strattling his legs and letting her blazing core brush against his obvious excitement, he moaned in pleasure once more as his head back fell back and his eyes shut, his hands reflexively reaching out to grab her hips and hold her steady. She dropped the fabric in her hand and let her dress pool around her hips, watching him slowly become undone beneath her. She paused a moment and rested her hands on his chest, feeling his heart tap out a wild, beautiful beat.

He pulled her fingers to his lips, kissing them, delighting in touching her. She smiled at him as she pulled her hands free to reached up and pulled her hair free of its constraints and down tumbled a mountain of beatiful curls. He buried his hands deep in her incredible hair and again pulled her in to taste her delicious mouth, but this time his kisses were harder and more desperate, further pushing her into a state of sheer ecstasy.

In all of his fantasies about her, he had never imagined how absolutely amazing she would feel to touch and taste and watch. Her body writhing above him, her lovely sweet scent swirling about him, her tender mouth seeking his out with such eagerness, she was breathtaking to behold. He could openly delight and take joy from being with her, without fear or caution and that freedom made him feel positively euphoric.

As she consumed him with intoxicating kisses and began to slowly writhe in his lap, her body rubbing against his so wantonly, he soon felt woozy with ecstasy, his whole body tingling with an overwhelming excitement. He realized he was quickly losing what little control he had and desperately needed to slow things down.

Pulling away from her, his breath coming out in ragged spurts, he fought to find some equilibrium, "Hermione," he finally managed, "we should... we should really slow down."

"I'm so turned on by you...I need to slow down," he almost begged.

The luscious witch in his lap, merely smiled at him. She felt amazed, positively stunned that she could have this effect on him. That he was so obviously excited by her only spurred her desire.

"I want you to know how much I love you and how much I truly want to go further with you," he said, "but I don't want you to feel pressure to move any further or faster than you're comfortable with. I want to move at your pace. I can wait as long as you need. Nothing needs to happen tonight. I'm just happy to be with you," he said, as he tenderly cupped her face, looking happier that she had ever seen him.

Touched by his considerateness and emboldened by her desire, she knew she was ready to give him everything.

"Remus, you're so kind...and I...I truly appreciate you being so understanding," she said, gathering her courage.

"But I...", she swallowed hard, "I want you. I want to have you, tonight. I've never been with anyone before and I want my first time to be with you, I'm ready," she said.

The weight of her words hit him and he realized what an incredible gift she was offering him.

"Are you sure?", he said taking her face in his hands. "I don't want to do this if you're not ready, it's really alright," he said sincerely.

"I am sure. Never been more sure of anything. I trust you, I love you, Remus," she said, bringing his hand to her lips and kissing his palm.

Her honey brown eyes boring into his, she then placed his hand over her chest, holding it there so he could feel her heart beat and know that it beat only for him.

"Please make love to me," she softly asked, her lovely voice so rich with need and want.

Sweeter words had never been spoken and Remus shuddered at the delight that fluttered through his heart.

He stood with his arms around her, lifting her and taking her into his bedroom. He murmured an incantation and suddenly a dozen lit candles filled his small bedroom, bathing them in soft light. He set her down gently on his large, soft bed and climbed in to lay next to her. He gave her sweet, soft kisses, starting at her mouth, then gently kissed and nibbled at her shoulder, she gently moaned at the touch, the skin there was so sensitive.

Hermione's chest rose and fell as she watched him kiss and nuzzle her neck and softly fondle her breast, her nipples hardening and straining through the thin fabric of her dress. She moaned in delight as he lay atop her, his body firm and strong above hers as he pressed against her. His mouth traced slow, deliberate kisses along her neck, he gradually reached behind her neck and slowly untied her dress. As he paused and looked her in the eyes asking for permission, she nodded.

He pulled the ties free and slowly lowered her dress to reveal her creamy, white breasts and pink taunt nipples. He gasped with pleasure at the sight, she was so incredibly beautiful. He rose to his knees and pulled her dress all the way down her legs and once free he tossed it to the floor.

She lay before him in black lace panties and nothing else and he felt stunned by the sight. He settled back onto his legs to catch his breath as he took in the sight of her perfect body. As he stopped, his eyes on her almost naked body, Hermione deeply blushed and panicked. No one had ever seen her body like this, what if he didn't like it? What if she didn't turn him on now that he saw her naked?

She tried to look away and cover her breasts but he caught her hands and gently pulled them away from her body.

"Don't, please don't. I want to look at you," he said, his voice imploring.

He crept forward and settled next to her, taking her face in his hands, "You are so beautiful. Thank you for this, I don't deserve you."

She kissed him and pulled his still-clothed body atop hers and she said, "Of course you deserve me, Remus. You're amazing, you know. Now take off your clothes," she said playfully.

Her words had turned him on even more and he smiled and obeyed.

He sat up and she joined him and began to unbutton his dress shirt, revealing his sandy-colored chest hair and tight, lean stomach. She ghosted a hand down his abdomen, marveling at his beautiful body. She couldn't believe she was actually here, really seeing him, it felt so surreal. She then unbuckled his belt and pants and pushed him back on his bed as she slowly pulled them off to reveal his navy blue boxer shorts and long, muscular legs, covered in light downy-soft hair.

His chest and stomach were tight and the trail of hair that disappeared into his boxer shorts caused Hermione to yearn to take them off and discover the rest of him. But as she reached to pull them off, he took her hands and sat up and said, "Not yet," as he pulled her into his lap and began kissing her, holding her amazing body, feeling the heat radiate off of her. The kissing was incredible and he wanted to prolong this exquisite pleasure for as long as he could.

Rolling around his bed, rubbing and gliding against each other in nothing but their underwear, Hermione felt drunk with pleasure, as the unfamiliar tension and sweet anguish building to an exquisite fever pitch deep in her belly.

He finally settled atop her and kissed her and relished each and every inch of her. Her lips, her skin, her curly wild hair. She was a wonder and she was all his.

He kissed his way down her body, kissing her shoulders and breasts, pausing a moment to take each nipple in his mouth and tease them with his tongue, causing her to gasp with delight. He smiled up at her, she looked so beautiful when she gave over to the pleasure and he wanted to see that look again.

He left a trail of kisses down her lean stomach, his hands roaming all over her body and then he slowly, oh so slowly, began to pull off her black lace panties. She gasped at the tantalizing sensation of the lace being slowly stripped from her willing body. She stared at him with such raw desire, wanting so badly to feel him atop her once more.

Once she was completely naked, he leaned over her again giving her a deep kiss and then moving lower as he settled his head between her legs and began to slowly lick and kiss her sweet center.

Surprised by the sudden unexpected sensation, Hermione suddenly felt self-conscious and a bit embarrassed by the way he was touching her. As prudish as it was to think, it made her feel dirty to let him do that.

"Oh, Remus you don't have to do that. That's...I know it's not ... boys don't really like doing that, or so I've heard. You really don't...", she rambled but he cut her off.

"I want to do that, I like doing that with you," he said sitting up and looking her in the eyes.

"If it brings you pleasure, then I want to do it. I want to feel every part of you. This is your first time and I want to make you feel good," he said staring into her beautiful eyes, his hand cupping the back of her head.

"Let me show you how good it can feel with me," he tenderly said, wanting so dearly to make her feel as loved and as beautiful as she truly was.

She felt so safe with him, she knew he would never harm her or do something she didn't like. He would stop if she wanted him to, but it had felt amazing and she honestly wanted more.

So she leaned back again on his soft bed and gave over to her desire. She watched with rapt attention as he resumed his spot and again began to touch and lick her. She had only touched herself a handful of times before and it had never felt like this. Her stomach began to tighten and her body began to writhe under his loving touch. His tongue languidly licking over her nub, the rising tide of pleasure ebbing and flowing within her. She started to moan and rake her hands through his soft hair, her hips undulating with each delicious sensation, relishing every single thing he was doing to her.

She slowly but surely felt a coil of pleasure wind tightly within her belly and as Remus began rubbing her swollen nub more quickly and with more pressure, she soon felt that coil burst apart as her back arched and she screamed his name over and over again, quaking with unimaginable pleasure. He looked up at her just as she came undone to see pure ecstasy play across her face and he felt euphoric. He had made her feel that and she had screamed his name when it happened. He wanted her now more than ever.

Laying back and shaking from the pleasant aftershocks that quaked through her body, he slid up the bed and took her in his arms. She looked up at him with a new found amazement.

She took his lips in a searing kiss. Sliding her hands down his tight body, his muscles taunt beneath his smooth, soft skin, her desire to have him building once again. He still had his boxer shorts on, and his erection was straining against the fabric. She smiled and gently pushed him onto his back, then reached down and slowly pulled his shorts off, freeing his throbbing member and eliciting a groan of pleasure from Remus. It was so much larger than she expected.

Seeing her naked body above him, her hair wild and face flushed with pleasure, he knew he couldn't wait any longer. He pulled her back and kissed her with so much passion and longing, such hunger, they both knew they wanted more. She laid back down and pulled him closer. He settled atop her and gazed deeply into her incredible eyes, touching her sweet face, feeling the heat and desire rage through him like an inferno. She smiled at him and kissed his lovely lips with equal fire.

Positioned right at her opening, he slowly, gently pushed himself in, stoping half way, to give her a chance to get used to his size. He moaned at how incredibly tight and wet she felt. It had been so long since he had been with a woman, and Hermione felt heavenly, her body such a blessed gift. He closed his eyes and tried to remember exactly how this felt, so he could remember it forever.

"Are you okay?", he quietly asked, cupping her face tenderly.

She nodded and smiled and slowly began to move her hips beneath him. He dipped in and out slowly, not wanting to cause her pain. As she got used to the new sensation, the slight pain that had been there soon disappeared and she found her pleasure building again as she began to slowly writhe and buck her hips to take him in, digging her hands into his shoulders, devouring his lips.

"Harder, Remus," she moaned into his mouth.

The words were beyond sexy as Remus finally allowed himself to fully fill her and the sensation was absolutely mind-boggling. He began to quickly pump in and out, feeling his whole body tighten with anticipation. He kissed her hard and then lowered his head to take her nipple between his teeth as his hand cupped her bottom and pulled her tighter against him so he could drive more deeply into her.

She screamed with delight at the sensation as she came again, this time even harder and longer, feeling profound pleasure rip through her and she again screamed his name with ecstasy.

His name spilling from those sweet lips were his undoing as he came with such a fierceness, holding her tightly and taking her lips with every ounce of passion he had. He had been with other woman, but it had never felt like this, so all encompassing, so devastating. As he came down, he felt so elated, so satisfied. He slowly pulled away from the beautiful witch and wrapped his warm arms around her, both completely spent.

He held her and lazily trailed his hand up and down her arm, occasionally grazing her nipple and eliciting a giggle.

"That tickles," she said, giving him a soft elbow.

"Thank you for that, it felt incredible," she said smiling.

He merely smiled back, enjoying being able to give her such joy.

He leaned down and captured her sweet lips, "I can assure you, the pleasure was all mine."

They were quiet for a long time and then she finally asked, "Does it always feel like that?"

"No," he said honestly. "Only with you."

She kissed him and said, "I love you, Remus."

"I love you, Hermione," he said, savoring her kiss, enjoying the thought that he could kiss those lips as often as he liked.

He had never known this kind of joy, it was both intoxicating and terrifying.

Entwined in each other's arms, they soon fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, the likes of which they had never known.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

From the looks of it, Hermione was having quite a lovely dream. Her face was totally relaxed, a small smile settled there, as if happiness were a permanent fixture in her life. Safe in the deep recesses of sleep, she looked so angelic, so peaceful; her cheeks rosy, her lips pink and full, her beautiful, crazy curls surrounding her like a halo.

Remus had awoken hours ago and had simply watched her sleep, feeling blessed to be here, witnessing such a beautiful, private moment that no one else had ever had. Like a child clinging to a well-loved toy, this moment was all his and his heart swelled at the thought that he could have her forever. Forever was such a lovely idea. A future with this woman could be everything he never even dared to hope for.

In the early morning light, a whole world of possibilities seemed to be blossoming in his heart, promising such happiness and fulfillment. He allowed himself to be swept away by the lovely, hopeful thoughts because for once they felt like they could actually become a reality.

She stretched in her sleep, arching her back and rolling onto her side, snuggling into Remus, her naked body warm and sweet. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her head. She smiled and slowly opened her eyes to see a pajama-clad Remus, smiling at her, while he stroked her sweet hair. A more lovely sight was not to be had.

"Good morning," she said smiling.

"Good morning, love," he said. "Did you sleep well?"

"Hmm, yes," she said sleepily, clutching him tighter, and nuzzling against chest, feeling the beat of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest, rhythmic like the tide rolling in and out. It felt so right to be here. She opened her eyes fully and gave him a smile but upon seeing the full sunlight pouring into the bedroom, her smile suddenly faded. She sat bolt upright, tossing his bed sheet aside and darted across the room completely naked, suddenly looking frantic.

Alarmed at her sudden move, he jumped out of bed and asked, "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

"Dear gods, what time is it!? It must be 10, at least. I've missed arithmancy! Why did you let me sleep so long!? And why are you here, don't you have class?", she yelled as she finally found her panties and was pulling her crumpled dress from the floor.

"Dearest, it's Saturday, remember?", he said, a huge smile playing across his smitten face.

"What?! It's Saturday?" Comprehension slowly dawning, her face reddening at realizing that she was still naked. She quickly put her panties on and pulled her crumpled dress to her chest as she attempted to cover herself up a bit.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to yell. I, um, I must've lost track of my days there," she said, feeling a bit embarrassed and laughing at herself for jumping the gun.

He couldn't have been more in love with her at that very moment if he tried.

The brightest student that Hogwarts' had seen in a hundred years was worried about missing a single class. Some things would never change, he thought with a smile. He crossed to her and took her in his arms, kissing her and holding her tight to warm her cold skin. He then pulled off his long, cozy cardigan and wrapped her up in it.

She looked at him with pure adoration, "Thank you," she said.

"Since you don't have any classes to rush off to, would you like to maybe stay and relax for a bit?", he asked, smiling at her with his eyes full of hope.

"That is, unless you have more pressing matters to attend to," he said, not wanting to presume that he would get to monopolize her time.

"No, I think I can stay for a bit," she said, smiling up at him, relaxing into his arms.

"Wonderful," he said giving her a tender kiss. "I put some clothes for you in the bathroom, if you'd like." She gave him a grateful kiss and disappeared to freshen up.

Perched on the sink were a few pieces of Remus' clothes including a t-shirt, pajama pants and socks, all folded neatly and transfigured to fit her smaller frame. He set out a new toothbrush and toothpaste and some lavender-scented soap. There was also a small vial of pain relief potion, with a note beside it saying, ' _Just in case you needed it'_. She held the note, looking at his small, careful handwriting and relishing the thought he put into caring for her. No man had ever treated her with such regard and consideration. He always thought of every little thing.

She caught sight of herself in the mirror and marveled at her reflection. She looked relaxed and rested, such a change from her usual tired, stressed appearance. Her hair was certainly a mess but otherwise she looked good. She looked for other any outward changes, anything to mark just how much her life had changed in the past twenty-four hours. For her entire life had been turned on its ear since yesterday morning and she indeed seemed to look different, she seemed to be glowing, happiness radiating from within her.

After multiple attempts to tame her wild mane, she finally gave up and left her curls down, wild and unfettered by charms. She'd rather spend this precious time with her love than with fixing her hair. She reemerged just a few minutes later, wearing his supremely comfy clothes, that did indeed fit just right, to find Remus on the couch, lost in thought.

Seeing her, he smiled and rose. "You look lovely. Even more stunning than last night," he said, his smile warm and honest.

"Oh, I'm sure I'm quite the vision," she replied with a warm smirk. "You're sweet to say that. And thank you, by the way, for the clothes and toothbrush and potion, it's all too kind of you."

"It's my pleasure. Are you feeling alright this morning?", he asked taking her gently in his arms. He had worried that he might have been too rough last night, having been overcome with such passion and intensity.

"Yes, I feel marvelous," she said kissing him.

Pointing to a large feast he had set on a blanket before the fire, he said, "You must be hungry, I had Winky bring a few things. I thought we could have a picnic."

There were warm croissants, fresh juice, hot chocolate, the most luscious strawberries she had ever seen and a vase of fresh yellow roses. It was absolutely perfect.

"Oh, Remus this is so lovely," she said taking him in a tight hug, touched by his incredible thoughtfulness.

"You're too good at this, you know," she said looking up at him. "You've obviously had lots of practice. You must have women coming through here constantly," she teased with a smirk.

"Oh, indeed, so very many, I can hardly keep track," he joked, enjoying just holding her.

Then becoming more serious, he said looking down at her, "I haven't been with anyone since Tonks and before her, there were only two others, I can assure you I'm no Casanova. I haven't done this for anyone else," he said gesturing to their indoor picnic. "I just wanted to make this special for you," he said, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.

"It's beautiful, thank you, Remus," she kissed him with sweetness.

Settling down before the warm fire, they both began eating, enjoying the delicious food and each other's company, chatting like old times, feeling perfectly at home. They hadn't talked properly in weeks and Hermione loved being able to tell him all about the rigors of classes, her responsibilities as Head Girl, her missing Ron and Harry, how different school felt this year. This intimacy and friendship had been one of her greatest treasures and she felt overjoyed to have it back.

"Can you believe Draco and Ginny are in love? I really can't wrap my mind around it. They seem so different from each other," she said.

"I can believe it. They've been dancing around each other for quite some time now," said Remus with a knowing smile.

"So you've noticed it? I thought I saw a few signs here and there but I was honestly surprised by last night. I thought she would marry Harry and have a dozen kids," she said with a smile.

"Let's just say, we weren't the only ones stealing glances at each other," he said with a smile. "They have more in common too, than first meets the eye. They're both smart and quick-witted, passionate and committed. Draco's turned into a good man, he'll treat her well, and Ginny's always been so strong, she'll be good for him. They've also been together a lot over this past year, they healed together and grew up. I think sometimes love is more complicated than people give it credit for," he said.

She nodded, knowing that he was right. Love certainly wasn't straight forward, that much she knew.

Filled and throughly relaxed, she settled down next to him. Leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder, she took his hand in hers and gazed happily into the fire. Breathing in her scent, feeling her lovely body rest against his, contentment flooded his whole body. So this was what bliss felt like.

"I missed you so much these past weeks. It felt like a was walking around without my other half," she admitted.

"I know the feeling," he said clutching her hand a bit tighter.

She sat up and smiled at him, and captured his lovely lips, blessing him with a slow, languorous kiss that sent a shiver of delight straight to his toes. She deepened the kiss, letting her lips part and feeling his tongue touch her lips and mouth and felt that beautiful burn begin to take hold deep inside of her.

Pulling back, she said, "I couldn't help but notice you had quite a large tub in there. Certainly big enough for two, would you care to join me for a bath?", she asked in a low, seductive voice.

"Yes, I think I would," his breath hitching, his stomach tightening with anticipation at just the thought of being with her again.

She stood before him, her eyes fixed on his and slowly pulled down her pajama pants, then straightened up and pulled off her t-shirt in a single effortless motion and stood before him completely naked. The raw, hungry look in his eyes made her feel confident and sexy, she turned and slowly headed towards the bathroom, giving him a good, long look at her. As she reached the door, she turned and said, "Join me when you're ready."

He had to close his eyes and remind himself to breathe as he heard the bath water turn on and the tub begin to fill. He didn't know what he had done to deserve this beautiful woman, but he certainly was grateful.

He waited a moment, finding his breath and finally stood. Entering the bathroom, he found her already in the tub full of citrus-scented bubbles. Seeing him, she smiled and scooted forward so he could join her.

He quickly began to undress, feeling a rising tide of desire flowing through him. She watched him taking off his clothes, his body such a magnificent thing to behold. He had many scars across his legs and torso, but rather than detracting from his beauty, they made him look strong and fierce, like a brave warrior returning from battle, victorious. His body wasn't the untested, umblemished body of a young man, but rather one of grown man, who had lived through fire and been made the better for it. She knew she would never find another man more stunning, more handsome. The way she looked at him, with such longing and adoration, made him feel wanted and sexy, and that truly was an odd sensation.

He sunk into the tub behind her, pulling her close to rest against him. The hot water and the incredible witch in his lap felt amazing, such an obscene luxury to a man used to getting by without much pleasure. He leaned his head back, trying to slow his racing heart and simply enjoy the sensations swirling around him. Happiness, desire, contentment, satisfaction, yearning, hope, they all seemed to combine to have a dizzying effect on him.

"Lean forward," he said softy. He began to soap up his hands and slowly rub them across her smooth back, softy washing up and down, then rubbing her shoulders to ease away any last bit of tension. He then pulled her back into his lap, and washed her arms and stomach, savoring the contented sighs she was offering with each touch. He then ran his hands up over her small breasts to feel her nipples hard and slippery, as she gasped with pleasure. He ran his hands lower and lower until he finally reached her sweet center and began to rub her while kissing her neck and clutching her tightly to him. She reached her hands up, and grabbed his hair, leaning her head back to kiss him and enjoy his taste. She felt dizzy from pleasure, her gentle sighs soon turning into loud moans of intense pleasure as rapture ripped through her and she came, kissing his mouth and clutching his hair. He slowed his ministrations as she calmed and she turned in his lap to hold his face while she kissed him.

"Can we go back to bed?", she asked softly. "Make love to me, Remus. I want you," she practically begged.

He rose from the tub and helped her out, wrapping her in a large soft towel and swept her up in his capable arms. He carried her to his bed, their bed, her hair wet and lovely, her lips so inviting. He murmured the same contraceptive incantation as the night before. They laid down together as one and soon were making love as if their bodies had always belonged together. Where the previous night was fast and frantic, this afternoon they took their time, holding each other tenderly and never taking their eyes off one another, their movements a slow symphony of pleasure and adoration.

"I love you, Hermione. I love you so much," he breathed, looking deeply into her eyes, their bodies moving as one.

Tears of joy welled in her eyes at his words, she felt overwhelmed by everything, she could only smile, fighting back her tears.

"I love you, Remus. I love you, I love you," she said as she came with such a sweet climax, waves of pleasure rippling through her. He came along with her clutching her tightly, feeling awe and wonder at the heights to which his pleasure could climb with her.

They gradually came down and he gently pulled out and took her in his arms. He tenderly wiped away her tears, that now came freely.

"I know," he kissed her cheek. "That was intense," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I just felt so overwhelmed at that moment, I wasn't expecting to feel so, so..."

"Deeply in love," he answered.

She nodded. "I didn't know it would feel like this. Like I might be swallowed up whole by this, like I might die without you."

"Neither did I," he replied.

They laid quietly for a long time, holding each other, listening to their steady heart beats, watching the sun make its slow decline in the sky. It was nearing dinner time. Having missed both breakfast and lunch in the Great Hall, they knew they would have to put in an appearance at dinner.

Laying in his arms, worry suddenly settled in her heart. What would happen after today? How would they make this work? Keep it secret from everyone? She wanted to be with him more than anything but worried at how they were going to pull it all off until her graduation.

"What are you thinking about?", he asked. He could feel her tensing up, her previous relaxed posture disappearing like fog in the morning light.

"I'm just a bit worried," she admitted. "I don't know how we can keep this under wraps for the next eight months. I don't want anything to happen to you, I'd never forgive myself if we got caught."

He pulled her close, trying to comfort her and quell the worry that was rising in his own heart, too.

"We're going to be fine. Try not to worry, we're going to be very careful and you'll be graduating before you know it. Just enjoy this year for now, we have so many wonderful things to look forward to," he said kissing her hand, his words full of promise.

She smiled and nodded, feeling his reassuring words wash over her and calm her rising nerves.

"I should head back to my room and get ready for dinner. People will start to wonder what's become of us if we miss dinner, too," she said with a smile as she made to get out of bed.

But he pulled her back. He knew she was right but it didn't make letting her leave any easier. The very thought of leaving one another and their blissful bed, made Remus feel something close to grief, already mourning her impending departure. This had been the happiest day of his life and he simply never wanted it to end.

"I don't want you to go, ever," he said, becoming suddenly serious.

"I want to be with you till the end of time. I want to marry you, Hermione," he said, cupping her fair face in his warm hands, his words and his heart being the most precious things he could give her.

"Remus, you shouldn't say such things if you don't mean them," she said, feeling a bit taken aback by his words, surely he couldn't be serious.

"I do mean it," he said, sitting up and kneeling before her in their bed. "I love you, I always will, Hermione. And you would make me the happiest man alive if you'd marry me. I don't have a ring or much of anything to offer, but you would have my heart, forever and always. I could wait as long as you want to get married but I want to know you'll always be mine. I want the promise of a future with you, that is, if you'll have me," he said, offering himself and all that he had to the perfect woman sitting before him.

His words took her breath away. She was enveloped in a feeling of pure joy as it dawned on her that he was being completely serious. He well and truly wanted her as his forever, never could she have imagined a more perfect life with this incredible man as her partner and friend. The tears came suddenly and she launched herself into his arms for an earth-shattering kiss.

"Does that mean 'yes'?", he asked smiling, finally coming up for air.

"Yes, yes, of course, yes!", she said, smiling though her tears.

"I promise to love and protect you forever. Until the very end of time, I shall be yours," he said, tears prickling his eyes, his heart full to burst.

"Then you will make me the happiest woman alive," she said. "I love you, Remus, always."

"I love you, Hermione."

He pulled away from her and crossed to his wooden dresser and pulled something from the top drawer and came back to her, clutching something in his hand.

"Will you do me the honor of wearing this? As a promise for what's to come?", he said, holding out the golden locket he had given her on her birthday.

She smiled and nodded, as he clasped it around her beautiful neck. Kissing her full on the lips with all his heart and soul, they both felt true joy. They were still naked and wanted to have each other once more but both knew they didn't have the time.

"Would you come back tonight and celebrate with me?", he asked sweetly.

She smiled and nodded, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

So they reluctantly pulled apart and began getting dressed. Remus dressed quickly, pulling on his usual dress slacks and button-down shirt. He settled on the couch while Hermione dressed in the bathroom and he reveled in the joy that had taken up residence in his heart. This was definitely something he could get used to.

She emerged dressed, having used his wand to tansfigure her black ball gown into a simple dress to wear back to her room without drawing any odd looks.

He stood and walked to her, clasping her hand and walking her to the door of his chambers. "I'll see you at dinner," he said with a smile, hardly able to contain his giddiness.

"Thank you, Remus, for everything. Thank you for trusting me with your heart, I promise to always take care of it," she said, kissing him. He had no doubt she would.

Opening the doors to his chamber, he peeked out and scanned the hallways for anyone. The coast being clear, she ducked out and started to walk away, but turned suddenly and took him in for one last kiss, pouring all her love and adoration for the man into this one last embrace.

Pulling away, she said, "I love you, Remus Lupin," which brought such happiness to his face.

As she turned away from her husband-to-be, feeling lighter than the clouds above, she suddenly came crashing down to earth as she locked eyes with an angry Professor McGonagall, standing not five feet from her.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

Minerva had overreacted the previous evening and had felt poorly about it all day. She had allowed her overwhelming anger to cloud her judgment and she lashed out needlessly. Which was something that was happening more and more as of late. Every little thing seemed to set her off on an angry tangent. At first, she wasn't sure why she had forbade the romance, she could've looked the other way. Albus had certainly made allowances for things that went well beyond the rules and Minerva had the power to do the same. She realized over lunch that her rage had come from the fact that she worried Hermione was making a poor choice, throwing her life away on a man beneath her. Remus was a thirty-nine year old werewolf who was just now getting his life in order, surely Hermione could do better, find a more suitable match. Minerva knew herself well enough to know she would never approve of the match and thus couldn't allow the romance to continue under her watch. She could, however, apologize to Remus for her harsh words. And that is how the headmistress found herself in front of Remus' quarters, fully intending to make amends with the defense professor, only to find the blissful couple kissing in plain sight. Her anger flared at the sight, as she felt rage, pure and volatile, take hold of her once more.

Hermione's heart sunk into the pit of her stomach as she met the wrathful gaze of the headmistress. If only she hadn't pulled him back and kissed him, told him she loved him, right in the hallway for anyone to see, she could have maintained some deniability. She could've thought up some fantastic lie, like she had been returning something to Remus, or apologizing, or dropping off a late paper. Any damn thing, it wouldn't have mattered. McGonagall wouldn't have believed any of them anyway, but at least she wouldn't have had hard evidence against them. Never had Hermione been so foolish, she silently cursed her silly heart for letting her better judgment be shouted down. This was what happened when you followed your heart, she thought ruefully.

"Miss Granger, Professor Lupin," the headmistress' voice deadly calm, barely louder than a whisper. "Perhaps we should discuss this in the privacy of your quarters."

Remus could only nod and allow the headmistress to enter his sitting room, as his whole body broke out in a cold sweat.

 _So much for being careful,_ he thought sadly.

Remus looked at Hermione who was still rooted to the spot beside his door, obviously overcome with dread. His eyes mournful and his heart heavy with guilt, he gently took her hand in his, as the pair followed McGonagall into his sitting room. They had been caught red-handed so why not hold hands on the way to their execution. They settled into Remus' worn leather sofa as McGonagall crossed to the fireplace and angrily threw Floo powder into the golden flames, calling out "Severus Snape!"

The flames lit up emerald green as Severus stepped from the fire a minute later.

"Headmistress, you called for me? Is something wrong?", he asked cautiously, for Minerva looked positively murderous.

Severus locked eyes with Remus and could surmise from his friend's dour expression, and by how tightly he clutched Miss Granger's hand, that Minerva had indeed found out everything. Severus gave Remus a sad, knowing smile and took a seat near the fireplace, fearing the worst for his friend.

Once she closed and sealed the door, Minerva gripped the mantle and closed her eyes, trying desperately to find a calming breath but there was none to be found.

"What did I say last night, Professor Lupin? Did I or did I not expressly forbid any relationship with Miss Granger? Were any part of my instructions unclear?", her voice quaking with rage as she whirled away from the fire, her face grotesquely contorted by fury.

Remus merely sat there, taking the brunt of her wrath, hoping she would expend all of her energy on him and wear herself out before she could turn it on Hermione. Her rage however only seemed to be growing rather than dissipating with each angry utterance thrown from her lips.

"You knew full well that I was against this, and what do I find today? Miss Granger kissing you outside of your quarters! Explain yourself!", she shrieked.

"Hermione spent the night with me. She was just leaving as you arrived," he admitted, knowing that obfuscation would be pointless.

"I appreciate your position, Minerva, I know you have a school to run and I'm sorry if I've compromised you or Hogwarts. But Hermione and I are in love and I couldn't simply walk away from that. As much as I wanted to fall in line and heed your words, I simply couldn't," he said while clutching Hermione's warm hand, his words tinged with sorrow and shame.

"I want to make it clear that this was my doing," Remus continued. "I approached her, I asked her to spend the night with me. She shares no blame in this."

He knew what was coming, he knew the minute Minerva had caught them in the hallway what was to come, and the least he could do was spare Hermione any undo punishment.

"Oh, I can assure you, Miss Granger shares equally in this, Remus. You're both adults after all, isn't that right?", said the headmistress, glaring at the Head Girl.

"Headmistress, I am indeed an adult," piped up Hermione, "and I did enter into this willingly, understanding the consequences. I am in fact the one who began pursuing Professor Lupin. I've been in love with him for quite some time. And last night was not the first time we kissed. I first kissed him on the night of my birthday and he rebuffed my advances then. I am the one who started this, I am to blame."

"You both are to blame, you foolish girl! What would have happened if a student saw you two kissing? Coming out of his quarters like you did? Word could've gotten out and the whole school would've been disgraced. You've compromised the integrity of Professor Lupin, of every teacher here and of this fine institution! You simply weren't thinking at all!", Minerva yelled shrilly.

They both hung their heads, shame coursing through them at the angry, bitter words being flung at them. They hadn't thought about anything besides what they wanted in that very moment. Now, under the cold, harsh glare of the headmistress, they could see that having it all wasn't as simple as snapping your fingers.

Sometimes wanting something just wasn't a good enough reason to have it.

"You both knew my position on this, you've left me with no other option. Professor Lupin, you are fired, effective immediately, for violating the school's charter by having inappropriate relations with a student. I expect your classroom and quarters to be cleared of any personal belongings and vacated by midnight tonight," said the anguished headmistress.

Remus closed his eyes, feeling the defeat slide into his chest and push out all hope and happiness. He felt stunned, saddened, and ultimately disappointed in himself. He had let this happen, he had acted selfishly and now his lovely life was crumbling around him. His happy, beautiful future withering like a delicate flower under the brutal, unrelenting heat of an angry sun. It was all his fault. He just lost his job, the only one he had ever truly loved and had been any good at. He would have to leave behind his only passion and his one true love and the thought left him nearly speechless with grief.

He merely nodded and said quietly, "I'll be gone within the hour, Headmistress. I'm sorry to have let you down, I sincerely loved teaching here."

Seeing his resignation and defeat, Hermione jumped to her feet and railed against the injustice, "No, no! Headmistress, you can't do this! You're acting out of anger, you're the one not thinking clearly! He's one of the best teachers you've ever had and you're just going to turn him out because of an affair! We're both consenting adults, we've broken no laws, harmed no one. We simply disobeyed you, if you threw out every soul who dared defy you, then the damn school would be empty!", Hermione raged.

She had never once yelled at an authority figure but rage coursed through her and she simply could not sit idly by and hold her tongue like a good girl. Not this time.

"Miss Granger, you will sit down and be quiet. I am incredibly disappointed in you. Your actions last night and today have shown me you are not the accomplished, smart young woman I once thought you to be," said the headmistress, knowing just what to say to hurt the Head Girl.

"I have half a mind to kick you out along with him...But I'm not going to do that. I am however stripping you of your position as Head Girl, you will leave the Head Girl suite immediately and return to Gryffindor Tower for the remainder of the year. You will also serve three months detention for breaking school codes for decorum."

Hermione merely shook her head. She was tired of being told what to do, she would not let anyone stand in the way of her happiness any longer.

"No. I will not stay here and pretend to be a carefree student while Remus will be chucked out of this castle. If he goes, I will too."

At this, she took his hand and gave him a smile. "Remus has asked me to marry him, so sooner is better than later anyway," her voice softening as she met his eyes.

She was willing to walk away from the only home she ever knew and set out into the great unknown with him. He had never seen anyone be so brave and thoughtful on his behalf. It moved him deeply to see her battle for him, rage against the injustice he had fought single-handedly his whole life. Her love was a fierce fire, the likes of which he had never known, it burned with a heat and warmth that comforted him against the cold, harsh world.

"What about your NEWTs? You've spent seven years waiting to take them and graduate? I know how important they are to you," said Remus, his worried face betraying his unease.

"I don't need to stay here to take my exams. I can arrange to take them early," said a confident Hermione.

"Actually, Miss Granger, you can't," replied the headmistress. "I would have to arrange that on your behalf and send my approval to the Minister for such a special request. And I can assure you, I am not willing to pull such strings for you at this time. You will either stay here and finish out the year and take your NEWTs with all the other seventh-years, or you can leave of your own volition now and never finish your education. The choice is yours."

This had been her entire life, and up until recently, her only solace and joy; being a student, learning, expanding her ever-growing mind. For so many years it had been all she had, her achievements her only comfort, the only way she defined herself. She had always known she would finish her education, even after Voldemort was destroyed and she had plenty of other options. This had been so important to her for so long, she wasn't sure she could simply walk away. But holding Remus' strong hand, feeling his warm fingers wrapped tenderly, protectively, around hers, she knew that she could be brave and take the plunge.

"Fine then," she said, summoning all her courage. "If those are my only options, then I choose to quit. I will be leaving with Remus this evening," replied Hermione.

Hermione stood and looked down at a shocked Remus and said with forced confidence, "I'm going to pack, I'll meet you in the front hall in one hour."

And with that she bent down and kissed Remus full on the lips, much to the consternation of the headmistress, and swept from his quarters without a single look back.

XXXXXX

Hermione rushed through the empty castle halls, her heart racing, her mind reeling at what she had just done. She had just quit school, and within the hour she would be setting out to make her way in the world with Remus. The thought felt exhilarating and terrifying. As she let her thoughts linger on the how's and what if's she began to panic and felt her breath coming out in strained hiccups. Fear seized her heart and she had to stop and gather her strength and courage. She was a Gryffindor, damnit. The world was a big, scary place but she could face it. With Remus by her side, everything was going to be fine.

XXXXX

With the headmistress and potions master still standing stunned in his sitting room, Remus rose and set off to pack. They were really doing this. He and Hermione were leaving together and would get to live as one, without fear or worry. They would start their life together and the joy that had been snatched away just minutes earlier, settled back in his heart as he stuffed shirts and books into his traveling trunk with a smile.

"You're really going to let her quit?", the headmistress asked Remus, shock and bewilderment playing across her aged face.

"It's her choice, Minerva. You didn't exactly give her many options," said an angry Severus, arms folded across his chest, glaring at the headmistress.

"I fully expected her to stay and complete her education! Up until a few weeks ago, it was quite important to her," she said pointedly.

"Well, things change, Minerva," said Remus. "We love each other and Hermione's going to be just fine, even without your previous NEWTs," he said as he walked quickly about his room, packing up his things.

"Oh, will she, Remus? And just what kind of job do you think she will get without any educational qualifications? A low-level job as a ministry grunt, if she's lucky. She wants to teach doesn't she? How will that happen without any NEWTs or support from me?", asked Minerva.

"And what kind of job will you get, for that matter? How will you provide for her? What can you offer her?", the headmistress asked.

"A life full of love and happiness, which is more than most people get," replied Remus.

She smiled sadly at Remus, "You're going to marry her and sentence her to a life of toil and strife. If you think being a lycanthrope has been hard, imagine how being married to one will be. Imagine what kind of life your children will have. If you let her quit tonight, you will ruin any chance she has at a happy, normal life. Put your own selfish desires aside for a moment and think of her, Remus. Don't ruin the bright future she has ahead of her. She loves you dearly and would throw herself into fire for you, don't let her burn for the sake of your own happiness."

Her words stopped Remus dead in his tracks as he realized that the headmistress was right.

Making Hermione choose between being with him and finishing her education was too much to ask of the young woman. He simply couldn't let her do this. She might be cavalier about this right now, but he knew her too well. He truly well knew that this was something she would come to regret later. Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but years from now she would feel anguish about walking away from something she had spent seven years pouring herself into. Her eduction was the most important thing in the world to her and without her NEWTs, she would never be able to get into a wizarding university or be able to teach professionally. So many doors would be closed to her and he couldn't bear that. He had lived a life of few options, and knew how hard that could be, he didn't wish the same for his beloved. He couldn't let her throw away her whole future just to be with him.

Cold, hard truth sinking into his stomach like a brick, Remus snapped his trunk shut and shrunk it to fit in his pocket. He closed his eyes, gathering his strength, for he now knew what he had to do.

Turning to Severus, Remus shook the man's hand and said with a sad smile, "This has been fun, Severus. We should do it again some time."

"Anytime, Remus," said Severus, anguished that his friend was about to lose everything dear to him.

Stepping closer to his friend, Remus said softly, "Please take care of her for me, Severus."

"You have my word," said the potions master.

And with that, Remus took one last look around his quarters, at his former boss and at his old friend and said a silent good-bye to the only life that had ever brought him any happiness. He closed the door and left to meet his beloved.

XXXXXXXX

As he entered the quiet front hall, it was completely empty save for Hermione, who was waiting by the front doors, a small trunk by her side, waiting for Remus.

He walked towards her, dread filling his body with every step, as she raced to him and took him in for a sweet, soulful kiss.

"This is going to be amazing," she said, smiling. "We'll head to Grimmalud Place and get settled and have all our friends over for the holidays. We can both find jobs in London, I'm not sure what we'll do, but we'll figure it out. Oh, we can even be married before Christmas! That old bat did us a favor, everything is just going to be wonderful."

Hermione spoke rapidly, seemingly happy about quitting school, pulling him out the front door and down the castle steps.

But Remus could tell that this was all fasle bravado on her part. For he knew she was destroyed by what had happened. She had just quit school.

Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age was now a drop-out.

He knew that her upbeat, talkative facade was masking her deep sorrow and fear. As they reached the bottom step, the cold night air swirling around them, he stopped in his tracks, and gently pulled her hand to stop her frantic, forward momentum.

"No. No, dearest, you won't be coming with me. I can not allow this, Hermione. This education has meant everything to you, you won't make your way in the world and do the things you want to do without it. You have to stay here," said Remus.

"But Remus...I can't be here without you. If you go, I go too," Hermione said, looking Remus in the eye, the look of panic and sorrow creeping its way into her beautiful eyes.

He knew this wonderful witch would follow him to Hades and back if he asked her. She would happily throw away everything dear to her just to be with him. He knew he would have to be the one to push her away if he was going to be successful.

"No, I...I don't want you coming with me. Do you understand? You will stay here. It's for the best. We rushed into this," he said, hating the words coming from his mouth. "I think we may have made a terrible mistake," he lied, his heart breaking at the sorrow that was slowly etching its way across her lovely face.

"Stop it!", Hermione yelled, rage pounding through her.

"Don't do this! Don't push me away to make this easier! Don't act like I mean nothing to you! I've given you my heart, so you don't get to tell me this was all some mistake or a fling because we both know that's not the case. You love me, as I love you, and I will be your wife, I don't give a damn about getting my NEWTs. You're all that matters to me now."

How he wanted to take her from here and be with her forever. Give her the happy, carefree life she so dearly deserved. She was everything he ever wanted and what was more, she was willing to leave everything she ever knew behind just to be with him. But this kind of love was a gift he simply could not accept from her, not if it meant costing her something so dear. If he took her from here and married her, lacking a proper education would only be the first of many hurtles she would face. Her life would be exponentially harder married to a werewolf and without an education. Her life had been tough enough, he couldn't stand to add to that burden.

Stepping closer and taking her face in his hands, tears springing to his eyes as he finally found the words that had to be said.

"I love you, Hermione. Know that I truly do, more than anything in my whole life. But we can't be together. It will never work, your life will be so much harder with me and I can't sentence you to a life of hardship just so I can have you. That's not fair to you. If you ever cared for me, you'll listen to me and do as I ask. Stay here, finish your education and start the life you were meant to have. Marry some nice young man, become a teacher, have beautiful babies, move on without me. With time, you'll forget me. You have a wonderful life ahead of you, of this I'm sure."

"So you get to decide my life for me?", she asked, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Did you ever think I might like to have a say? That you might be my entire world and no amount of NEWTs or job offers will mean a damn thing to me if I don't have you," she said, her voice cracking under the weight of profound hurt and sadness.

He pulled her close, smelling her sweet, soft hair for the last time and finally let his tears flow freely.

"You're better off without me, Hermione."

"Please," she begged, her voice hoarse with tears, clutching his robes in a tight grip. "Please don't leave me here. Let me come, let me make this up to you. I know this is all my fault! I should've never kissed you. I've gotten you fired, I've ruined your whole life. I'm so sorry, Remus," she said as she burst into tears and buried her face in her hands.

He pulled her close and wrapped her up in his strong arms, shutting out the cold, cruel world for just a moment.

"Please don't blame yourself for this, not even for a second. You have made me happier than I ever thought possible. Your love has given me life, and I will treasure that gift for as long as I shall live. I love you, Hermione."

And then he kissed her goodbye, relishing the touch of her lips one last time, knowing that he would remember this bittersweet moment for the rest of his life.

"I love you, Remus. I always will," she said sobbing as he pulled away from her, his absence leaving her breathless with grief.

He looked deeply into her lovely eyes one last time and said, "Please don't."

And with that, the finest defense professor that Hogwarts' had ever seen, turned and left a bereft Hermione Granger to face this harsh, new world on her own, completely alone.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

Hermione wasn't entirely sure how long she had sat there on the freezing castle steps. Hours might've past as she sat staring into the sky, numb and dazed; the cold, dark night enveloping her, threatening to swallow her whole. She felt as if she had left her own body and was watching herself from afar, witnessing this night as if she were a visitor to her own life. The only thing keeping her from floating away was the locket around her neck, that she clutched dearly, rubbing its intricate design between her fingers, feeling its weight and warmth. It was the only thing she had left of him.

It had begun to snow at some point, the soft, white flakes fluttering all around her, silently dancing before her tired eyes. Although very cold, she couldn't summon the will to move, she thought she might just stay here in this spot forever, since she didn't really have any other plans. She was starting to feel sleepy, barely able to keep her eyes open.

She heard someone rushing down the stone steps, but didn't bother to turn. She no longer seemed to care about moving. She then felt warm hands on her shoulders, gently shaking her and speaking loudly, jet black eyes boring into hers. She stared mutely into those dark eyes, knowing only that they weren't Remus' and thus she couldn't really be bothered to care who they belonged to. Those warm hands then moved and she felt herself being lifted up and carried back into the castle, feeling very much like she was floating.

"She's freezing, Minerva. Her pulse has slowed down, I think she's in shock. We need to get her to the hospital wing," said an angry Severus Snape as he swept through the empty front hall carrying a nearly unconscious Hermione.

The trio arrived at the hospital wing to find a dozing Madam Pomfrey. "Poppy! Get up! Miss Granger is ill, her pulse is weak and she's chilled to the bone," he said as he gently laid Hermione down on the nearest bed. Poppy sprang into action, quickly running her wand over the shaking young girl.

Poppy soon surmised that Hermione was suffering from exposure and the beginning stages of hypothermia. The accomplished medi-witch administered several healing potions, cast a strong warming spell and gave her a sleeping draught.

Severus and Minerva sat off to the side, watching Poppy work, feeling anguished at being so useless as Hermione slowly slipped into a deep sleep. Severus pulled a chair forward and took the young woman's hand in his, her fingers so cold and frail.

"I hope you're happy now, Minerva. You've gotten rid of Lupin and damn near killed your most-prized pupil. Quite the achievement for a Saturday night," said an embittered Severus.

Recognizing the caustic words as the opening volley in what was sure to be an all-out brawl, Poppy quickly gathered her vials and wand, and discreetly left the two professors to argue in private.

"Severus, you know full-well I never intended for her to suffer like this," Minerva's voice quaking with emotion at the sight of Hermione laying there.

"Oh, no, certainly not. You thought you could break her heart, give her a few detentions and send her straight back to class. No harm, no foul," he said bitterly.

Minerva drew a deep breath, gathering her composure. She crossed to the window and stared out into the dark night.

"You know, when Albus was headmaster," she said, "I often disagreed with how he handled things and we often argued because of it. I now can see that things are different when you're the one in charge, when your decisions can effect so many. It's different when you're on my side of the desk, Severus. I have to be the one who stays rational and keeps the school's best interest at heart, always. Sometimes that means hurting a few to protect the majority. I fired Remus because I thought it was best for everyone involved. I'm sorry you can't see that."

"Besides, Miss Granger truly is better off without him. She will see in time, men like him never keep their promises," Minerva said, bitterness creeping into her voice.

Releasing Hermione's hand and standing up, whirling on the headmistress, Severus towered over her as he came within an inch of her face.

"And you think you always know what's best!?", he angrily hissed.

"You've just ruined this young woman's life! She loved him, Minerva. Truly loved him...and he loved her. And you just kicked him out, without a second thought. Where is your heart?"

"I've found it's best not to rely on one's heart, Severus. It will generally lead you astray," she said angrily.

"Pain is just a part of life. You, of all people, should know that by now. Fanciful notions of happily ever afters are not real. Love and happiness simply don't last. The sooner Miss Granger knows that, the better off she'll be," said the headmistress, all the anger drained from her as she sunk into a chair, feeling suddenly old and exhausted.

The potions master let out a deep sigh as he realized exactly where all the woman's anger was coming from.

"Minerva, you know that Albus never wanted to leave you. He tried everything he could think of to prolong his life. He died protecting the Light and it tore him apart to go. He loved you dearly."

She looked up at him now, her eyes wet and shining with tears as she slowly nodded. "Yes, he did love me. But he died all the same."

Severus sat down next to her, and took Minerva's hand in his, realizing for the first time just how much they shared, how much sadness they each quietly carried everyday, unbeknownst to the rest of the world.

"You're punishing Remus for Albus' sin. Remus is a good man, he would've loved her and stayed by her, no matter what. You simply convinced him he didn't even deserve a chance to prove himself," said Severus.

Minerva closed her eyes against her tears and the truth, knowing that Severus was right. But she couldn't dwell on what was done, it never paid to linger on one's mistakes. Instead she stood and wiped her eyes dry, smoothed her robes and turned to Severus, the usual mask of stoic indifference back in place.

"Professor Snape, do please let me know when Miss Granger is awake." And with that Minerva swept from the hospital wing, the echo of her heels clicking out loud and clear across the stone hall.

Severus merely rose and moved to sit next to Miss Granger, again taking her frail hand in his, two lonely souls keeping eachother company on this long, cold night.

"Don't you listen to a word she said, Miss Granger. She's just an angry, old woman with a broken heart," he said to the sleeping young woman. "I'm so sorry this has all happened. You didn't deserve any of this."

And so Severus Snape sat and watched Miss Granger sleep all night, hoping that the dawn would bring some relief to the poor girl. But the cynic in him knew just how hard the new day would prove to be.

XXXXXXX

She smiled and he smiled back at her, his beautiful gray eyes so welcoming and loving, his smile so beautiful. She felt warm and safe under his gaze. "I love you," he said. Her heart soaring at his words, she crossed the room to take him in her arms, for she wanted to kiss him and have him all to herself. But as she walked towards him, he seemed to move further away. She soon began running toward him, but he only seemed to move further and further away until he finally disappeared, with her screaming his name over and over again.

"Remus! Remus!", she shouted as she jolted awake from her dream, covered in sweat, clutching her sheets, as aching sorrow suffused her trembling body. It had been a month since Remus had left and every night Hermione had dreamt the same dream. Those moments of seeing his sweet, smiling face had been her only happiness, her only reprieve from her daily pain and torment.

True to his word, Remus hadn't contacted her at all and Hermione was beside herself with grief. She had barely gotten out of bed the first week, preferring to stay in her new Gryffindor bedroom, staring at the wall, wondering where Remus was and how he was fairing. But Professor Snape's persistence and ever-present nagging that she try and return to a normal class schedule had won out as she tried valiantly to start over.

Everything just seemed to require so much effort. Just getting out of bed and getting dressed, left her feeling drained and weak. She felt like she was drowning, dying a slow, agonizing death from a broken heart. Outwardly she looked quite different. Gone where the rosy cheeks and confident smile. She now looked weak and tired, her usual small frame shrinking even more as she rarely ate. Her once beautiful curls were now lank and her warm, healthy glow had completely vanished.

It was, however, on the inside where she had changed the most. For now she felt hollow, devoid of anything real. As devestated as she was, as much as she longed to have him once again, Hermione had not once cried since he had left that cold November night. Even though her heart ached from the profound loss, as much as she wanted to cry, the tears simply wouldn't come.

Draco and Ginny did their very best to care for her, walking her to all of her classes and coaxing her to eat but it was hard for Hermione to be around them. They were so incredibly happy and in love and even though a small part of her was glad for her friends, for they truly did deserve their happiness, the bigger part of her felt white hot anger at them for having a love that couldn't be summarily dismissed as hers had been.

It also didn't help things that the entire school knew of the affair. Within two days of Remus being fired and Professor McGonagall reluctantly taking over the Defense lessons, every one seemed to know exactly why Remus was chucked out and why Hannah Abbott had replaced Hermione as Head Girl. Hermione knew Professor Clemens was behind it, as the blonde seemed to be perpetually smirking since Remus' departure. Thanks to her spreading the nasty gossip, everywhere she went, Hermione was greeted with whispers and side-glances as many students and several faculty seemed to be giving her the cold shoulder.

As December started bright and cold, Hermione was desperate for the holidays to come. She longed to stay at the castle alone and heal in relative solitude. She just had to keep her head down and try her best to ignore the taunts and catcalls that seemed to follow her everywhere.

During one of their last potions classes of the semester, two Slytherin sixth-years sitting behind Hermione decided to get in one last assault before the winter break began.

As Hermione hunched over her cauldron, carefully adding dragon's blood and lacewings to her simmering mixture, trying her best to concentrate, she heard them quietly call, "Hey, Granger! I hear you'll open up them gangly legs for any old guy. My granddad's single, you fancy a date with him?"

Her blood boiled at their vicious laughter and tasteless words, but rather than lash out, she chose to ignore them. Ginny and Draco were sitting several tables in front of her, and thus Hermione was alone and feeling even more vulnerable than usual. She merely hunched closer to her cauldron, and focused on her work. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing her break. When she didn't take the bait, they just continued.

"Oh, come off it, Granger," they whispered. "Drop the bookworm routine, we all know how you get your grades. I guess it's real easy to be top of the class when you're fucking the teacher. Did you fuck Flitwick and Hagrid, too?", they snickered.

At this, the boys were suddenly and violently yanked free of their seats as their metal stools clattered loudly to the stone floor and the entire class turned to see an unbelievable sight. Professor Snape, his jet black eyes glittering with rage, had the two Slytherins pulled up by their collars and pinned them against the cold dungeon wall.

"Do you think you were being funny, Mr. Allens and Mr. Fibbert?", Snape's voice was dangerously low as he leaned menacingly close to the terrified boys, their robes clutched tightly in his large, strong hands.

"As the head of your house, I am profoundly disappointed and ashamed that two of my own would ever dare speak to a young lady with such impertinence. I am deducting 200 points from Slytherin for those cruel, disgusting remarks. You will each write an apology to Miss Granger and serve two months detention cleaning the bathrooms for exhibiting such a deplorable level of disregard for a fellow student."

The classroom audibly gasped as the students were positively floored by the stunning point loss. Professor Snape had never deducted points from his own house before and to issue such a staggering punishment to two of his own was incredible to witness. Hermione only gaped at her professor, not really believing her ears. She had been teased mercilessly for weeks now and up until this moment, it had felt like the insults might continue on indefinitely.

"If I ever hear you speaking to another lady in this castle with the same disrespect as you've exhibited today, you will each find your education coming to an abrupt end, am I making myself perfectly clear?", he said, his rage barely contained.

The boys could only nod and return quickly to their seats to bottle their potions and clean their stations, hoping to escape the classroom as quickly as possible.

Snape swept back to the front of the classroom, as students began quickly shuffling forward to turn in their potion samples, the Slytherins appropriately fearful and the Gryffindors suddenly in awe of their teacher. Ginny and Draco gave him a quiet thanks for intervening on Hermione's behalf and he retuned a polite nod, as the classroom emptied.

The last to leave was Hermione. As she approached his desk, Professor Snape looked up from his papers and caught sight of Hermione on the verge of tears.

Her voice thick with emotion, she said, "Thank you, sir. I...I appreciate your saying something to those boys. People have either than been pretending I don't exist or saying horrible things for weeks and I've felt quite overwhelmed by it. I just...I feel...I'm so very grateful for your help, is all. Thank you."

He nodded. "I know these weeks have been hard on you, Miss Granger. Dealing with all this nonsense on top of losing Remus must be difficult. Just remember that you're stronger than you realize, you can survive this. Keep your chin up, you're doing well."

She offered a sad smile as her tears spilled down her reddened cheeks. "I don't know, sir. I don't think I'm doing all that well, in fact. Each day feels like the last, like I'm running in circles, going nowhere and just tiring myself out."

She looked up to see Professor Snape offer her a delicate, white handkerchief, which she gratefully accepted. Then looking him in the eyes, she asked, "Can the heart ever really heal? Or do we just learn to live with the damage?"

Severus Snape knew the answer to her question but didn't have the heart to tell her. His silence spoke volumes.

"I can keep going through the motions, but I just don't know if I'll ever feel better," she said honestly.

He wanted to tell her that everything would turn out fine and that she would soon be her old self, but he couldn't bear to lie to her, she deserved better than platitudes.

"Just try and take it one day at a time, Miss Granger. Healing doesn't happen overnight," he said, trying to offer her some kind of encouragement.

She nodded and left the dungeons. His words should've given her hope but instead she left feeling adrift and despondent, unsure of just how much more punishment her weak heart could take.

XXXX

Christmas break soon arrived as the castle cleared out, with students merrily heading home to enjoy the long carefree break with their families. Hermione stayed behind, much to the dismay of Ginny and Draco. The lovebirds had spent days trying to convince Hermione to come with them to the Burrow, for a low-key celebration but Hermione politely declined.

She simply couldn't celebrate the holidays as if everything was fine. She had nothing to feel merry about. She wanted to be alone and let her false cheer fall to the wayside.

The castle was mostly cleared out, save for a handful of students and she could finally be alone with her thoughts. She could wander freely without stares or whispers following her. She strolled slowly, reverently, through the empty halls, and everywhere she went she was reminded of him. His classroom, the astronomy tower, the Great Hall, everywhere she looked, she could see him, feel him. It still felt as if he were still here and they just kept missing each other somehow.

On Christas Eve, Hermione chose to skip the small group dinner in the Great Hall and walk the castle by herself. As night fell and the snow began to blanket the castle grounds, she wandered for hours, not really thinking about where she was headed. When she finally looked up to see where she was, she realized she was outside of Remus' old quarters.

With a heavy heart, she stopped and leaned against the heavy wooden door, the very spot where she ruined it all for them both. She felt her throat burn and tighten, her chest clench at the memory and her stinging tears finally came and this time they flowed freely. She sank to the cold stone floor and sobbed with all her heart, letting every ounce of sadness pour from her like a deep endless well springing forth.

She hated missing him, hated having her heart so irrevocably broken. She put her head in her hands as resignation washed over her. She was never going to run out of tears, never reach the bottom of this pit. She was going to stay here forever it seemed. She knew the pain had to stop if she was ever going to live again.

As she lay sobbing against his door, her mind suddenly cleared and she knew what she had to do. An eerie peace settled over her as she stood and headed for the dungeons. For she knew that was the only place that could offer her the true solace she so desperately needed.

XXXXXX

Breaking into Professor Snape's storerooms had been a bit more difficult this time, with extra wards making it trickier but certainly not impossible to overcome. She quickly ducked in and grabbed the necessary ingredients and set to work at the nearest lab station.

Her burner on low, she began adding the Lethe river water, the valerian sprigs and the mistletoe berries, carefully watching the time and stirring counterclockwise exactly three times. Her mind was focused and clear like the Hermione of old, the classroom perfectly quiet as she brewed with ease and precision. She then added three snake fangs and lavender, the potion immediately turning pitch black. She knew it was ready.

She spooned a portion out into a thin vial then vanished the rest of the contents of the cauldron and sat down. She knew she had to say the incantation exactly right before taking the potion in order for it to be effective.

She stood, took a deep breath, summoning all her magical energy and began, " _Obliviscatur Aeternum_ , may the seeker be made whole by the banishment of all that wishes to be forgotten." She lifted the thin vial to her eager lips but before she could take in even a drop, an irate Professor Snape stormed into his classroom, and she stopped dead in her tracks.

"Miss Granger, just what in the hell do you think you are doing!?", he bellowed.

He knew his wards been broken several minutes ago, but was on the other side of the castle and had assumed that it was false alarm given that most of the students were gone. He had of course forgotten about the resourceful Miss Granger.

"You've broken into my storerooms and class and you're brewing! What would possess you to do such a thing?!", he bellowed. But as he took in her tear-stained face, he realized that this wasn't a simple situation and he needed to tread lightly.

"What are you brewing?", he asked, his voice suddenly quiet and careful, as his eyes scanned the table and took in the ingredients, realizing the dark magic she was calling upon.

" _Obliviscatur Aeternum_?", his eyes wide with shock. "You're brewing Forever Forgetfulness? Do you realize how dangerous this potion is? You could permanently damage all of your memories! Why would you...", But before he could ask that question, he realized why she would tangle with such dangerous magic.

"You're trying to destroy all your memories of Remus, aren't you?", he said, lunging forward to try and grab the vial from her hand.

He was met with wild, angry eyes as Hermione refused to relinquish the precious potion, her hands clamping over his in an attempt to get the potion to her lips.

"No! You can't take that! I need that! Don't you understand?!", she screamed as she frantically grabbed and lunged angrily at the towering potions master.

He tried to grab hold of her wrists and stop her thrashing but this only proved to anger her more as she flailed harder and kicked him square in his shins.

"I have to forget! I can't go on like this! I can't Obliviate myself! This is the only way to forget it all! Please! Please listen to me!", she wailed.

But as he finally got a good hold around her waist and freed the vial from her claw-like grip, he smashed the vial against the stone wall and she let out a mournful wail the likes of which he had never heard. Her body finally slowed its frantic thrashing as she crumpled to the floor and broke down sobbing. Professor Snape, still clutching her tightly, fell with her.

He held her close and rocked her for a long time, as she sobbed and clutched his robes.

"I have to forget...please," she begged through her tears.

"I know," he finally said, his voice suddenly kind and redolent with an uncharacteristic understanding and warmth.

"Believe me, I do. I know you want to forget, that would be the easiest thing to do, wouldn't it? Destroying all your memories of him, you would finally be free of the pain. You could finally move on," he said softly.

"But with that pain would also go all of your joy, every happy moment you shared with him. Every kiss, every touch, every loving word. Would all that be worth losing just to stop the pain? I don't think it would."

"With time you'll see that those dear, sweet memories will always bring you happiness. One day, you will think of those times together and not feel the sadness that taints them now. That joy is something that no one can take from you. So don't just willingly throw them away to make this moment easier. Pain will always come, Miss Granger. We can't stop that. It is the joy we carry with us, deep inside, that helps see us through these storms."

Her sobbing had subsided, as she lay motionless in his arms, the tears slowing, her heart calming. "I just miss him so much. He's the only one who really knew me." She hadn't said these words to anyone, and now she was pouring her heart out to the feared potions master. The only one who cared enough to be close to her in her grief.

"It hurts so deeply because you love him with all your heart. You can't lose your heart to another like you have and not expect extraordinary pain. We get as much as we give. But make no mistake, just because it hurts doesn't mean that loving him was a mistake. Remus is a good man and I know you made him happier than he's ever been. Try and hold on to the joy you gave eachother, that will last forever. The pain will fade with time, but only if you let it. You must let go of the pain, otherwise it will consume you," he said.

She sat up from his lap and dried her eyes and looked at Professor Snape with a new found admiration.

Sitting crossed-legged on the cold floor, his usual crisp, impeccable robes ruined and wrinkled by her salty tears and spilt potion, his face a perfect study in concern, she realized that she really didn't know Profesor Snape at all. He had been kind beyond measure, suffering her wrath and seeing her through this tempest with immense patience and understanding. He was a much better man than she had ever given him credit for.

She gave him a small smile and said, "Thank you, professor. I'm forever in your debt for all that you've done for me."

He offered a small smile in return and said, "You can repay me by taking better care of yourself. You look tired and quite thin. I would very much like it if you would join me for dinner once a week in my quarters, just to make sure you're feeling alright and recovering."

She smiled her first real smile in weeks and said, "I'd be honored, sir. Thank you. But I'll only come on one condition, you must call me 'Hermione'."

"Very well," he sighed. "But only if you call me 'Severus'," he said, cracking a friendly smile.

He stood and helped her up, her body sore and tired. On shaky legs, she began slowly moving about the classroom and together they worked quietly to clean up the mess she had made. As she went to leave for Gryffindor tower, she turned to the man she had once feared and loathed and said, "You're an amazing person, Severus. I'm glad I've gotten to see this side of you."

He merely smirked and quirked an eyebrow and said, "Let's just keep that between ourselves, Hermione. Wouldn't want the first-years thinking I'm a pushover."

She smiled and closed the dungeon door. As she headed to bed, she realized that for the first time in weeks, her head felt a bit clearer and her heart felt a tiny bit lighter.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

The cold, clear morning of Valentine's Day found Remus staring out of the library window at 12 Grimmauld Place, the beautiful London skyline blanketed in fresh, untouched snow. The streets below were deserted and quiet, looking like a winter wonderland out of a muggle fairy tale like the ones that his mother had read him as a child. He loved the city when it was like this, so peaceful and serene, the beautiful white snow giving the feeling of so much possibility and promise.

This morning however, not even the beautiful cityscape could little lift his mournful spirits. She had wanted to marry him by now, wanted to be his wife. What a gift it would have been to have her by his side and share in this home and life. He leaned against the cold windowsill and closed his eyes against the physical pain that seized his chest at what he had given up. What a beautiful, amazing life he chose not to have.

As happy couples awoke all over the city to celebrate and relish in their love, Remus struggled to quell the profound sadness that had taken ahold of him so many months ago.

He had thought he would be better by now. He was a grown man, accustomed to loss, but this cut just wouldn't heal, it was simply too deep. The months had passed slowly, as Remus bounced between several muggle jobs, losing each of them when he had to disappear for several days each month. He finally secured a job at Flourish and Blotts, where the owner was understanding about his condition and graciously excused him his monthly enjoyed his quiet work at the shop but even days full of work and reading until the wee hours had done nothing to distract him from his sorrow.

Watching the sun rise slowly over the horizon, he realized with some resignation that he didn't want to feel better. Missing her, mourning the loss of the future he wanted so dearly and would never have were his punishment. His atonement for letting her care for him and ultimately hurting her.

As he reluctantly rose from his chair to face yet another day without her, he was greeted by a morose-looking Harry, descending the steps from his bedroom, having just awoken, looking groggy and hungover.

"Good morning, Harry," said Remus trying to force a warm smile on his sad face.

"Hey, Remus," said Harry, half-heartedly.

After losing Ginny, Harry wasn't fairing any better than Remus was. Ginny had tried multiple times to talk with Harry and to try and become friends again, but Harry was simply still too hurt. Ginny had even invited Harry to the Burrow for the Christmas holidays, for she still cared deeply for him and wanted to try and restore some type of peace between them. But Harry wasn't up for celebrating the holidays with his ex and her new beau. He wanted Ginny to be happy but he wasn't ready to sit and be friendly with Draco, not just yet. Harry had instead spent the Christmas holidays with Remus, the two sad bachelors filling every inch of Grimmauld Place with their misery and longing.

Harry had showed up last night, too, drunk and on the verge of tears. Remus took pity on him and got him up to his old bedroom. Upon his death, Sirius had willed the old house to Remus but Remus felt it was just as much Harry's as it was his own. Remus knew that this place would always bring comfort to the young man as the only real home he had ever known.

With the long, empty Saturday stretching before them now like an interminable prison sentence, the boy-with-a-broken heart and the long-suffering werewolf weren't sure what to do with themselves. Breakfast seemed like the logical start, just put one foot in front of the other and soon this day would be done with, just like all the other miserable ones that came before it.

As they settled down at the kitchen table for tea and toast, Severus Snape swept into the kitchen. Having floo'd from the castle to bring Remus his monthly supply of Wolfsbane potion, he took in the two morose men and smirked at the sight.

"Well, this might very well be the most depressing sight I've ever seen, and I was a Death Eater for two decades, so believe me, friends, that's saying something. Happy Valentine's Day to you both," he said as he took a seat and Remus slid a cup of hot tea in front of him.

"Thank you, Severus, for my potion. I appreciate you being so diligent about bringing it to me," said Remus with a small smile.

Severus had been delivering the potion since Remus had left in November. Remus was thankful for the potion and the chance to see his friend but mostly be was glad to be able to hear some news of his love.

"How is Hermione doing?", asked Remus, not even trying to hide the lovesick heart on his sleeve.

"She's improving since last we spoke," said Severus, noticing just how weak and thin the wolf was looking.

Much to the delight of her concerned friends, Hermione had been making slow, steady progress since Christmas break. She had greeted the new year by making a vigorous study schedule for her NEWTs and throwing herself into her work, which provided some comfort.

She also began tutoring again, quickly remembering how good it felt to use her knowledge to help others. Severus had also made it a point to make her honor their weekly dinner commitments. Each Thursday, she would arrive at his quarters at six o'clock sharp for a rich, delicious meal and lively conversations about potion making and development. Severus had found her astute observations about the future of potion innovation and her ideas about potential research projects to be interesting and worth further consideration. Her company had been a treat to him, enjoying sharing his passion with a dedicated, smart witch. He could see great things lay ahead for her, her future seemed full of possibilities.

"Good. I'm glad to hear it," said Remus, who looked anything but glad.

Silence soon returned as Harry and Remus stared dejectedly into their tea. Severus wasn't sure how much more of this maudlin display he could withstand.

"I think this mockery of a holiday requires something a bit stronger than tea," said Severus as he rose and walked to the cabinet above the stove and pulled out an unopened bottle of fire whiskey.

Returning to the table with three tumblers, he filled each a third of the way with the amber liquid and slid a glass to each man.

"To a day full of love and good cheer," he offered with smirk.

The three men knocked back the harsh drink, relishing the burn as Remus refilled everyone's glasses.

Before the sun had fully risen in the sky, the trio found themselves in the library, sprawled across the worn couches, completely drunk. Even Severus, who had a well-known tolerance for the drink, was slurring his usually elegant words and the three were loudly lamenting how silly and sad their lives had turned out to be.

"I miss Ginny," said Harry, clutching his whiskey like a lifeline.

"I miss Hermione," said Remus, staring into the fire.

"I haven't been with a woman in seven years," said Severus.

At this, a stunned Harry and Remus turned to look at Severus, surprise playing across their faces at his rare personal admission.

"Shocking, I know," said Severus dryly. "You'd think they'd be beating my door down, what with my dashing, good looks and charming demeanor."

"You're actually not that bad, when you put in a little effort," said a suddenly serious Harry. "I've seen you be agreeable, hell, I've even seen you be charming when you want to. Maybe you should make a point of showing it more often. Any witch would be lucky to have you," said a sincere Harry.

Severus chuckled at the drunk young man and said, "Why, thank you, Mr. Potter. I will keep that in mind the next time I meet a nice witch."

Draining their glasses yet again, the fireplace suddenly lit-up green and to their great surprise, out stepped a jubilant-looking Ron and an equally ecstatic Claudia. They were smiling ear to ear but when they took in the sight of the three grown men drunk in the middle of the day, their joy momentarily faltered.

"Is this a bad time?", asked Ron, concerned at the sight.

"Of course not, Mr. Weasley!", said an unusually jovial Severus, standing a bit wobbly from his seat and bending down to clasp Claudia's hand to gently bring it to his lips.

"And to what do we owe this exquisite pleasure?", Severus said, as he gave Claudia a dazzling smile and he laid on the charm, thick as molasses.

Claudia was a short, shy, unassuming witch who was often ignored in the crowd. She smiled brightly at the attention for she was quite unaccustomed to being lavished with such consideration. She blushed deeply at the dashing wizard and Snape enjoyed the sight for he knew how uncomfortable it was making Ron.

For his part, the youngest Weasley male was momentarily dumbsttuck by the man who stood before him, looking remarkably like Snape but behaving like a character out of a bottice-ripping romance novel.

Looking to Harry for some kind of reassurance and only receiving a drunken grin, Ron tried valiantly to pull a delighted Claudia from the potions master's grasp. Severus reluctantly let go of her hand and turned to give Harry a discrete wink and a smirk. Harry smiled at the sight.

"Uh, we just wanted to pop by and share our good news. I've asked Claudia to marry me and she said 'yes'!", said a clearly smitten Ron as he pulled his equally elated fiancée in for a warm hug. His face shining brightly with pride and happiness, Ron was sorely disappointed to see the three men staring back blankly at him.

Remus was the first to find his manners and stand to offer his friend and new fiancée a warm smile and said sincerely, "Congratulations. You both look so happy together, I wish you all the best."

"Thanks, Remus, I appreciate that," said a smiling Ron.

"Indeed, Mr. Weasley. May you both be blessed with immeasurable happiness," said Severus, shaking the young man's hand, his earlier impertinence replaced with sincerity.

"Thank you, Professor," said Ron.

Harry was the last to find his composure and stand to give Ron a tight hug and say, "Ah, mate, that's just...that's just brilliant! I'm so happy for you both," looking at them both, he said to Ron, "you're a lucky man, she's really something special."

Tears were suddenly threatening to fall from his red eyes, so Harry turned away to get another drink.

"You guys are the best! Thanks for the warm wishes. We'd love to stay but I told Mum we would be over shortly to celebrate," said Ron. "Would you all care to join us?", asked a smiling Claudia.

"Oh no, I think we will pass this time," said Remus, figuring that three drunk, morose wizards might not fit in at a happy engagement party. "But thank you, Claudia. Congratulations, again," said Remus.

The pair stepped back into the fireplace and disappeared. Silence reigned among the trio. Harry finally spoke.

"How fucking sad is it that one Ronald Weasley has his life more in order than we do?", said a dejected Harry.

"Fucking sad, indeed, Mr. Potter," answered Severus.

If the mood in 12 Grimmauld Place had been melancholy before Ron's arrival and big announcement, the air now positively rippled with sorrow as the two love birds left to head to the Burrow to celebrate. The three wizards began drinking once again with renewed vigor as they wasted the rest of the day and evening away drowning in their collective sorrows.

Becoming increasingly belligerent and accusatory as the sun was setting in the sky, Harry said bitterly, "That Draco really is a piece of work. Just who does that bastard thinks he is, moving in on my woman!", he raged, as he rose suddenly from his chair and fell face first into the carpet.

Remus and Severus merely laughed at the sight as Harry let loose a stream of obscenities and finished with an, "Alright, which one of you pushed me?!"

"Neither one of us, Mr. Potter, I can assure you. You did this all to yourself," said an amused Snape as Remus looked on with a small smile.

Laying his head on the carpet, resignation suddenly taking hold over the young man, Harry said somberly, "Yeah, I sure did. I fucked everything up," he said rolling onto his back as quiet tears spilled from his red eyes and slid into his unruly hair.

"I lost the one thing I cared about. I was so obsessed with my stupid job and my new friends, I forgot all about taking care of Ginny. I just assumed we were fine, you know? I just can't fucking believe I lost her."

As Remus watched the young man's face contort in pain and anger, his hot, bitter tears flowing freely, Remus' own heart sunk. Happiness really did seem impossible, improbable. It wasn't guaranteed for anyone it seemed.

Remus slumped down from his own chair and sat quietly next to Harry, offering him a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I know, Harry. It seems dark now, but things will get better," said Remus, catching sight of Severus' quirked eyebrow, his mouth set in a hard line of disapproval.

"Remus, save your mollycoddling, the boy's a grown man. He deserves some honesty," said Severus.

Leaning down from his chair so he could look Harry in the eyes he said, "Mr. Potter, you did indeed 'fuck things up,' as you so eloquently put it, with Miss Weasley. Women deserve more than a cursory glance and a quick peck on the cheek when the mood strikes you. They deserve everything you have to give, if your father were here he would tell you the same thing," Snape said, letting his words sink in.

"I know you're saddened by this loss but perhaps it's for the best. I do not believe that you two would've been happy together in the long run. Had she been the right one for you, you would've felt it. Being away from her would've felt like torture, as if your own heart were missing. And given how often you two saw one another I would wager that wasn't the case for either of you. Miss Weasley seems genuinely happy now, so try and find it in yourself to be happy for her. I'm sure given time you too will find another to love, someone who you truly belong with. Just be patient."

Harry was taken aback by his honest, straight forward words. Everyone had been tip-toeing around him since he and Ginny had broken up, placating him with cliches and encouragement. The fact that Severus would be honest yet supportive was a shock.

Harry sat up and dried his eyes, and said, "Thank you, sir. I...I think you're probably right."

"Not a problem, Mr. Potter," said Severus, a small, genuine smile crossing his face.

"I think I need to shower and get some sleep. I'll see you later, Remus. Thank you again, Professor Snape," said Harry as he rose slowly and made his way out of the library, but not before shaking the potions master's hand with genuine gratitude in his eyes.

As Harry left, Remus turned to Severus with a warm smile, "That was very kind of you, Severus. You always seem to know just what to say."

Severus gave a small chuckle at this and replied, "I hardly ever know what to say, especially when it comes to consoling someone. I just know how..." he paused, his eyes far away for a moment, "I know how overwhelming being in love can feel. We've all suffered enough. Hopefully he can figure out what's really important to him and hold onto it," Severus said looking Remus square in the eye, his pointed words heavy with meaning.

Remus nodded sadly at these words, tears coming to his eyes as he looked away at the fire to hide them from his friend.

"I know you miss her, Remus. She misses you too, dearly. She's recovering but is by no means healed. She's not happy without you. You should talk to her."

Remus shook his head, "No, she needs space. She needs to find someone else. It'll just make things worse if I contact her."

He stood and walked to the desk to pour himself another drink.

"She's been offered an apprenticeship at the Salem Witches' Institute," said Severus, the words hitting Remus like a ton of bricks.

He suddenly felt short of breath as he sat slowly into the nearest chair.

"Minerva put in a good word for her, she's old friends with the headmistress there. If she accepts, she'll start in September. She has told me this is not her first choice. From the sound of it, Minerva more or less strong-armed her into applying. Hermione said she does not wish to travel so far but she feels as if it's her best option, especially if she wants to pursue teaching. So tell me, Remus, does she really have no reason to stay? No hope for a future with you?"

Remus closed his eyes and swallowed his bitter tears, as he dug his hands into the chair cushion to stop himself from howling in anguish. When he finally spoke, his words were careful yet full of pain.

"This will be such a good thing for her, such a wonderful opportunity. I can't be the one to stop her from going, Severus. I've caused her enough trouble."

"She's going to graduate soon, Remus. And if you don't tell her you still love her, she'll go off and start a life without you. Are you really willing to let her go? To live without her?"

Remus put his head in his hands, feeling the warm tears fall and cover his calloused fingers. Severus stood and placed a warm, reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder.

"You're a good man, Remus. Far better than most. You deserve happiness just as much as the rest of us. You should give yourself that chance."

With that, Severus headed to the fireplace and floo'd back to the castle, leaving his friend alone with his confused, jumbled thoughts and his heart full of fear and longing.

Hermione's future had arrived, not some distant notion of a vague sometime, but right here and right now.

And he knew if he didn't find the strength and courage to talk to her soon, he would well and truly lose her forever.

XXXXXXX

May soon arrived and with it came all the beautiful blossoms of spring. The lake beside the castle was surrounded by fragrant, cascading weeping willows, song birds shared their happy tune and couples sat entwined in eachother's arms, the rest of the world an afterthought. With the first warm rays of sunshine, the entire school seemed to camp out by the lake, relishing the sun and warm breeze, which seemed to hold the promise of better days ahead.

At first, Hermione had avoided the lake, finding it hard to be around so many happy couples, but the siren call of warm sunshine soon won out and she abandoned her beloved table in the library in favor of a sunny patch with Ginny and Draco. She was slowly starting to feel better, be able to be around others without the crushing sorrow tainting her every thought. She still missed Remus with all her heart, and thought of him often but she found she could now think of him and not immediately feel sadness. Thinking of him now brought a small smile to her lips, something witty he had said, or the way he gently held her hand. It made her long to hold him but it also made her happy that she had had him, for even the briefest of moments. She knew Harry, Ron & Severus had seen him and that he seemed to be doing alright, she just wished she could see his beautiful face, his warm smile and lovely eyes. She dearly missed her best friend.

Exams and graduation were only one month away. Adulthood seemed to be coming at rapid speed. She had been accepted into the graduate program for advanced study in potions at Salem Institute. And while the possibility of furthering her studies was an exciting opportunity, for she found she truly loved the notion of making her own brews and becoming a potions mistress, she wasn't however, excited about heading to America. She would be starting from scratch, no friends, no one to rely on. It all seemed a bit daunting. She had secretly held out hope that Remus would've contacted her, reached out in some way. She still loved him dearly and had hoped that he felt the same. But given his total silence, she had come to the conclusion that he truly didn't want a life with her. And thus moving on was probably something she was going to have to get comfortable with, whether she liked it or not.

Sitting alone in her bedroom, holding the Salem acceptance letter in her hand, she knew she had to make a decision about their offer soon. She looked out the window, hoping for some divine sign, some blessing that she was making the right call. But no celestial words or lightening bolts came.

She sighed and pulled out her quill to sign and accept their offer. Dipped in ink and poised to sign, she found she couldn't find the will to put the quill to the paper and seal her fate. Her chest seized with fear at the thought that she was making the wrong decision. She closed her eyes and did something she hadn't done since she was a child, she prayed. She asked for someone, anyone to hear her plea and grant her the one thing she truly longed for. Her eyes closed, she saw Remus' beautiful smiling face and her eyes filled with tears at the sight. Her breath caught in her throat, for she knew she was holding on to a fantasy, a life she would never get to have.

She opened her eyes, took a deep breath and reluctantly signed the letter, her tears falling onto the elegant paper as she folded it and tied it to the waiting owl on her desk. As the owl swooped out of her open window and disappeared over the horizon, she saw her future with Remus disappear along with it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

Hermione's eyes flew open on the first Monday morning in June, her heart immediately beating faster as she realized what day it was, the first day of her NEWT examinations. The day she had been waiting eight years for was finally here. She had imagined this day many times, always thinking she would feel pride, honor, confidence. But this morning it all felt a bit hollow, like all her hard work might not have been worth all the sacrifice. She shook the negative thoughts away, knowing she would need all her concentration. Her apprenticeship at Salem was contingent upon her NEWT scores. The pressure was high, her whole future riding on these next five days and she couldn't afford any mistakes. Everyone who knew her seemed to think she had this in the bag. She only wished she felt the same confidence.

She drew a calming breath and got out of bed, quickly dressing, wanting to get this day started with. Before she left she gave herself a quick look in the mirror and admired just how much she had grown and changed from when she arrived here eight years ago. She smiled at the young woman looking back at her. Sweeping from her room and making her way to the Great Hall, the sun was just beginning to rise and fill the castle halls with warm, golden light. She walked the quiet hallways, marveling in the silence, working hard to quell her rising nerves.

Ginny was already quietly seated at the Gryffindor table, looking pale and nervous, forsaking her breakfast for one last glance at her defense notes. Hermione knew any review now would only muddle her already full mind so she instead nibbled a piece of dry toast as the hall began to slowly fill with nervous students. Hermione smiled at all the nervous fifth-years, remembering her own OWLs and the nerves that had clenched her then. It seemed like a million years ago. She glanced at the Haed Table and let her eyes linger on the chair that had once belonged to Remus. Staring at the now empty chair, she was hit with a longing so intense, so sharp, she felt her breath catch as she realized how much Remus must miss this place, his job and colleagues. She wished more than ever that her love hadn't cost him so dearly. The least she could do was honor him and his sacrifice by doing her very best today. She squared her shoulders as she saw Ginny close her notes and rise to face their future.

"You ladies all ready then?", asked a smiling Draco as they met him outside of their DADA classroom.

The pair nodded although they hardly felt ready. Draco saw Ginny looking worried and pulled her in for a sweet kiss on her forehead saying, "Don't worry, sweet girl. You're going to do marvelous." Ginny locked eyes with him and offered him a small smile. "Thank you," she said, as she offered him a tender, loving kiss on the lips.

Hermione wished Remus were here to utter the same words and offer the same comfort. She shook the thoughts from her head as Professor McGonagall swept past them and opened the doors and directed them each to a desk. The exam would include a written portion followed by a practical demonstration. With the students seated, the next two hours flew by in a hurry with the furious scribbling of quills across parchment the only noise filling the classroom.

Collecting their parchments, Professor McGonagall then had all the students file out and wait in the hallway as students would be called in by twos for the practical portion. Dean Thomas and Draco went in first, then Hannah Abbott and Seamus Finnegan, Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass, folowed by a dozen others. Finally, Ginny and Hermione were called in as the last pair of students.

The classroom, now cleared of desks, looked barren and ominous. Professor McGongall sat at the desk in the front of the class with Professor Snape serving as her proctor.

"For the practical portion you will both be required to cast a fully corporeal patronus. Miss Weasley, you will go first."

Hermione gave Ginny's hand a quick squeeze as Ginny stepped forward to begin. The young red-head took a deep calming breath and cleared her mind of all thought, save for her very happiest memory. She thought of the night of the Halloween Ball. She remembered Draco asking her to dance, how he pulled her close, his lips brushing her ear as he whispered the words she had long felt but never had the courage to say aloud, ' _I love you, Ginny_.' Her heart had soared at the words and when he kissed her she felt a tidal wave of pure joy, as she finally had the one thing her heart had ached for.

It was this immense happiness that surrounded her now as she cast a perfect patronus, a beautiful horse that galloped around the room and disappeared through a tall window.

Ginny smiled as Professors McGonagall and Snape nodded their approval. "That was excellent, Miss Weasley. Very well done. Please exit through the side door, your exam is now complete," said the headmistress. Ginny shot Hermione a discrete thumbs-up and left the classroom, the youngest Weasley looking quite relieved.

"Miss Granger, it looks like you're our last one. Are you ready?", asked Professor McGonagall kindly.

Hermione nodded and walked to the center of the room.

Hermione closed her eyes and brought forth the memory she had always used when casting her patronus. She thought of going to the beach with her parents when she was five years old. Her dad had helped her build a beautiful, tall sandcastle covered in iridescent seashells and took her swimming in the cool ocean, the gentle waves pulling her to and fro, as her father held her tight. She walked hand in hand with her parents down the beach at sunset, as they swung her up high in the air, her laughter filling her whole body with joy.

She smiled at the memory and she drew her wand to cast her patronus. " _Expecto Patronum_!", she called out and swished her wand with accuracy and force, feeling confident.

But nothing happened. Momentarily bewildered, she called out the spell again with the same result. Dread began to rise in her throat as she frantically called the spell three more times with absolutely no results. Tears came to her panicked eyes and she felt the strong urge to bolt from the room and never return.

Seeing the anguish and fear in her eyes, Professor Snape rose from his seat and rounded the desk. He walked toward her, carrying a stool and placed it before her. He gently offered her a friendly hand on her shoulder and motioned for her to sit.

"Miss Granger, why don't you take a moment to collect yourself. We are in no rush today, so please take your time. You can do this," he said, looking her in the eye, showing his confidence in her.

She gave him a grateful smile and sat. Feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders, she knew she had to calm down, otherwise she would never be able to do this. She took deep breaths and slowly her mind cleared. She knew she would have to call forth her very happiest memory if she was going to cast her patronus. And she knew exactly which memory to recall.

She rose from her stool, and brought forth the one memory she had been dutifully ignoring for months, the memory that had been, up until now, too painful to recall.

It was the moment Remus had asked her to marry him.

She closed her eyes and let herself be swept away in the thought, seeing his eyes so full of adoration, his sweet words and promises full of love, his strong hands tenderly clasping the locket around her neck. Her fingers involuntarily clasped the locket around her neck now, for she had worn it ever since Remus had put it there, not being able to bring herself to remove it. Feeling it's warmth between her fingers, she felt her heart swell with immense love and anguish, sorrow and pure joy as she remembered him kissing her with his lips so sweet, his warm, strong body holding her with such a fierce love. Standing in the classroom, she felt as if he were here with her now, holding her and promising her the world and in that moment she felt suffused with pure, unbridled joy.

Tears springing to her eyes, she felt her wand go up and call out a clear, strong, " _Expecto Patronum", a_ nd out came an amazing sight.

She opened her eyes expecting her usual playful otter that she had always conjured in the past, but instead she was greeted by a fully corporeal wolf, small and fierce, who pranced about the room with strength and agility. Her eyes widened at the sight, shocked to see that her patronus had changed, but perhaps not really that shocked at all.

McGonagall and Snape exchanged surprised glances at the wolf who lay down before them and then slowly disappeared.

Snape stood after a moment, finally found his voice and said, "Excellent work, Miss Granger. It would appear that your patronus has changed. That is quite rare, as I'm sure you know."

"Indeed, sir. I guess I'm a wolf now," she said with a sad smile.

He offered her a small smile back, knowing how deeply her love must run for the werewolf and knowing the many hard years that would lay ahead for her. He had suffered like this, pining for a lost love and wished with all his heart that he could spare her the same fate.

"You are now complete with this exam. You are dismissed, Miss Granger. Good work," said the headmistress with a small smile.

Head held high, Hermione left the classroom riding a wave of happiness and pride. She was going to ace these NEWTs, she was now sure of it.

As the heavy door closed shut on the young woman, Severus turned to Minerva and said, "It would appear that Remus had a more profound impact on your star pupil than you may have first thought."

He swept from the room, leaving a thoroughly anguished Minerva to wrestle with the reality that Hermione Granger was well and truly in love with Remus Lupin and the headmistress had been the one to ruin that for them. Minerva realized, for the first time, just how much she had hurt the young couple. She could see now that she had been wrong to separate them like she did. She knew she owed it to the young woman to make it right.

XXXXX

After her defense class, the rest of the week went by quickly as each day brought new exams but she seemed to feel immune to the stress that plagued the rest of her classmates. She finally felt her old confidence return and she felt focused and strong.

Monday afternoon brought Arithimancy and Tuesday had Ancient Runes and Herbology. Each were exhausting in length and scope but she felt confident after each one was complete.

On Wednesday morning, she sat for her Charms exam, which went by without a hitch. She then had her Transfiguration exam. She was pleasantly surprised by how easily she handled the written portion, as if each question were pulled from her study guides. For the practical portion, everyone had to perform human transfiguration, in which they had to drastically change their own appearance using any human or animal attributes they wished. Ginny gave herself long, sweeping, golden blonde hair and added six inches to her height. Draco gave himself black horns sprouting from his forehead and a long swishing tail, and Hermione shrunk her height by half and sprouted small wings from her back, covered in pure white feathers. Professor McGonagall smiled at their ingenuity.

Thursday morning brought her History exam. Hermione strode confidently into the room, shoulders squared and mind clear, she was prepared to face off with Clemens. Only four other students were taking this NEWT so the classroom was mostly empty. Professor Clemens and Professor Snape sat in the front of the room as students filed in and took their seats. Once settled, Clemens stood and announced with a smug expression that there would be no written portion of the exam which took the others by surprise, but not Hermione. She knew exactly what Clemens would do instead.

"So just like in class, I'm going to call on you and ask questions aloud and Professor Snape here will mark your scores. Are we all ready?", said Clemens. The students nodded grimly.

"First off, Miss Granger, do please name for us the twenty-five battles of Merriam and the casualties associated with each," called out a smug Clemens.

Hermione stood with confidence and called out every single one correctly. Clemens seemed momentarily stunned but pressed on.

"Miss Granger, do please explain why the forty-fifth Goblin Rebellion was inherently different from the forty-fourth and forty-sixth rebellions," said Clemens.

Again, Hermione stood like a proud lioness and delved into a deep, thoughtful explanation of how the differing geopolitical climates among the goblins lead to differing battle tactics and strategies. After twenty minutes of talking, Hermione rested her case and again took her seat, satisfied with her thorough answer. Clemens, for her part, was looking increasingly agitated.

"Miss Granger, you seem to be in rare form today. How about a tough one? Do please name all witches and wizards who have been wrongly imprisoned or detained in the last 500 years due to misinformation among the muggle community," said a triumphant Clemens. There had been over 200 individual cases and Clemens knew damn well that Hermione would never know them all.

Hermione met the question with a small smile as she stood and began calling out all 214 names. When she finished answering 30 minutes later, Clemens' mouth hung open in shock. Snape for his part gave a satisfied smile at the sight and declared, "All correct, Miss Granger."

"Professor Clemens, your mouth seems to be hanging open, perhaps you should shut it," Severus said dryly.

Clemens stood angrily and said, "Alright, Miss Granger, since you seem to have memorized the entire text, why don't you tell me..." but Antigone was cut off by Snape before she could continue.

"Professor Clemens, surely Miss Granger has more than aptly proven her encyclopedic knowledge of this subject, why don't you move along and test one of your other pupils? Or in your fervor to trip up Miss Granger with ridiculous questions did you forget that there were others students present?", he said with a sneer.

Clemens' temper flared but she kept it in check as she moved along to ask Hannah Abbott about the Witch Inquisition of 1297. Hermione gave Professor Snape a small smile as the rest of the exam proceeded without incident.

Her last exam came Friday morning. It was potions, the most dreaded and feared NEWT in all of Hogwarts. Students had been known to pass out mid-way through the exam from the intense pressure but Hermione wasn't afraid, she actually was looking forward to it. She swept into the cold dungeons and joined a nervous Draco and Ginny, all eagerly looking forward to finishing this last test.

"Good morning, students," said Professor Snape, a bit more warmly than anyone was used to hearing.

"Your exam today will include a written portion and a practical stage where you will brew a specific potion. As always, concentration and focus are imperative," he said with his usual air of authority.

"Before we begin though," he said, his voice softening a touch, "I would just like to say that it has been a privilege teaching you. I expect great things from each of you," he said, his eyes scanning the classroom and settling lastly on Hermione.

"I know I have not been the easiest teacher here," he said with a small smile that elicited several soft chuckles from the students. "But please know that I always had your best interest at heart. I've pushed you hard, some of you harder than others, because I saw great potential in you and I wanted you to succeed," he said, looking right at Hermione. "No matter what you score today, know that I am proud of each and every one of you."

The entire class was touched and appreciative for his kind words and it seemed to diffuse most of the previous tension. The exam began and silence reigned at students buckled down to do their best. The written portion was hard, with everyone scribbling frantically to answer the many questions before time was up. The practical portion had the students brewing a Wiggenweld potion, a powerful healing potion well-known for its intricacy and difficulty.

As students brought their potion samples forward and finished their very last exam at Hogwarts, every single one of them thanked the feared potions master and shook his hand. Hermione was the last to walk forward and turn in her potion.

"And how do you think you faired, Miss Granger?", Professor Snape asked, looking up from his papers.

"You tell me, sir," she said, picking up her vial and handing it to him.

He uncorked it, smelled it, swirled it and looked at it with a critical eye. He finally announced, "It's outstanding, Miss Granger, as always," he said with a small smile.

He stood and shook her hand, "It truly has been a pleasure teaching you, Hermione."

She smiled back at him, "The pleasure has been all mine, Severus."


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

 **Sorry about the delay in posting, I really wanted to nail this chapter. This one turned out a bit long, but I didn't want to break it in two. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.**

The week between the NEWTs and graduation positively flew by with the seventh-years openly rejoicing in the luxury of no classes and endless parties. Nights spent lounging in the common rooms, wandering the castle, enjoying each other without responsibilities; it was the most carefree time Hermione ever remembered having. The faculty turned a blind eye to the late night revelry, for the most part, knowing that the graduating seniors deserved a bit of freedom.

The day of the Leaving Feast arrived and all the seventh-years, from every house, had spent the day lounging by the lake. Many were quiet and reflective, their previous jovial moods tempered by the reality that this was all ending tomorrow. Soon the sun was setting and their last feast was upon them. As they entered the Great Hall, they were greeted by a sea of happy, smiling students, all relieved that their exams were done and a long, happy summer lay ahead. Hermione couldn't help but envy them, for they would get to return here in a few months time, she wished she was so lucky.

The Leaving feast was its usual happy affair, full of delicious food and high spirits. After the long tables were cleared of their many plates and the students sat contented and full, Professor McGonagall took to the podium and all eyes fell on her.

"The house points have been tallied and I have the privilege of announcing the winner of this year's House Cup. In fourth place, with 485 points, is Hufflepuff House. In third place, with 510 points, is Ravenclaw House. In second place with 534 points, is Slytherin House. And in first place, with 655 points, is Gryffindor House," said the headmistress with a twinkle in her eye.

At this, the entire Gryffindor table erupted in thunderous applause at their victory. The spirits at the crimson and gold table had never been higher. The other tables politely clapped for them. Draco offered a dashing smile and crossed from his house table to the Gryffindors and took Ginny in for a fierce hug, the delighted red-head cheering the loudest amongst them. Draco joined them, feeling more Gryffindor than Slytherin anyway.

"I would like to take this moment to also congratulate a few of our distinguished graduating seniors. Ginevra Weasley, after serving as captain for her house quiddich team and helping securing this year's Quidditch Cup for the Gryffindors, will be starting this fall with the Holyhead Harpies as their new Seeker. A huge congratulations to you, Miss Weasley."

Ginny stood and received the warm praise from friends across the Great Hall and her face lit up with a bright, infectious smile. Hermione felt so proud of her dear friend. Ginny had proven herself on her own merits and was finally receiving some well-deserved praise, without being overshadowed by a sibling. It was finally her moment in the sun and she seemed to be loving every second of it.

Draco sat smiling next to her, every bit as happy as the girl who everyone was cheering for. The pure adoration with which he looked at his girlfriend was a beautiful thing to witness. Draco had always been such a reserved, prim young man. Even as a young boy, he had often sported a look of smug indifference, just like his pure-blood parents. But this past year, he had seemed to wear a permanent smile, he had looked relaxed and genuinely happy, which was all thanks to Ginny. Hermione knew that love could truly change a person and that possibility was nothing short of miraculous. Seeing him look so openly joyful was simply amazing, Ginny really had changed him for the better.

As Ginny took her seat once more, Draco took her beautiful hand in his and brought it to his lips for a sweet kiss, his eyes full of love and pride.

"I would also like to congratulate Draco Malfoy, Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones, who will all begin working at the Ministry of Magic. Miss Abbott and Miss Bones will be headed for the Department of International Magical Cooperation, and Mr. Malfoy will be joining he Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. Our best wishes to you all," said Minerva with a smile. Draco smiled shyly at the attention, unaccustomed to being praised for doing something good.

More students were called upon as their achievements and future job prospects were announced with great fanfare.

"And finally, I would like to congratulate Hermione Granger, who this fall will begin a potions apprenticeship at the Salem Witches Institute in America. We wish you all the best, Miss Granger."

Hermione stood and dutifully received the praise, but her heart simply wasn't in it. How could she accept such praise and adulation for something she didn't really want or feel like she deserved. She wished she could muster the contentment that seemed so natural for her many friends. But the simple truth was, her life wasn't turning out the way she had expected and that saddened her more than words could say. The only thing she had truly wanted had been snatched away and thus everything else seemed like a poor substitute. She hoped to be feeling better about it by now, but as the feast ended and students made their way back to their rooms for their last night in the castle, she had a sinking feeling that true happiness would forever elude her.

XXXXXXX

Hermione woke bright and early the next morning. So accustomed to waking and rushing off to start her day, today she realized a bit sadly that there was nothing left to do. No exams, no studying, no tutoring. She was almost completely packed up, too. Today she was graduating and really leaving this beloved castle. So she reluctantly laid in her sweet, familiar bed and felt bittersweet tears come, knowing that she was saying goodbye to the happiest home she had ever known. As silly as it was to think, she really didn't want to leave.

The Weasleys had insisted that she come and stay at the Burrow for the summer until she had to leave for Salem in August. Hermione was sincerely grateful for the offer, for she really had no where else to go. Leaving here today was going to be daunting and she was glad she had some family to see her through this.

Hermione watched the sun slowly rise in the east and knew she had to get out of bed at some point. She took a long soak in the tub and finally found the will to dress and ready herself for the big day. She wore a light blue silk dress that fell gracefully to her knees and her mass of curls was tucked up into a loose bun. She packed up her few final things and took one last look around her room. It was empty now, completely free of any sign that she had lived here and it would stay this way until the next girl came along in the fall. Her breath caught as she realized that she was but one of many who would live here and call it home, she felt gratitude flood her heart that she had been given this precious time here. She would truly treasure this forever.

She left her trunk and Crookshanks in the front entrance hall along with all the other traveling cases, certain that the house elves would see her things safely to the train station. She glanced around the beautiful front hall, remembering her first time entering this school, the final battle, Remus asking her to dance. So many wonderful and sad memories had happened right here. She smiled and made her way out to the quiddich pitch for the graduation ceremony. Draco and Ginny were waiting along with all her other friends, all of whom seemed nervous, excited, happy and sad all at once. She too felt the conflicting swirl of emotions at what she was about to leave and what she was about to start. Her heart was beating wildly at the magnitude of this very moment.

Seated before a large stage, were all the faculty and younger students, with family and friends surrounding them. As the orchestra began to play, the graduates made their way onto the field to wild cheering and applause. Professor McGonagall took to the podium and said with a heartfelt smile, "Welcome, one and all, to this year's graduation ceremony. We are all so very happy you could join us on this beautiful occasion as we celebrate and honor our young witches and wizards."

"This has not been an easy few years for any of us. We have faced sadness and horror in our time. After the war, we weren't even sure if this wonderful school would ever open its doors again. But together we've persevered and now here we stand, stronger than ever and watching the future of wizarding poised to make their mark in the world. I am truly proud and honored to be your headmistress. Having watched each of your grow and mature into the amazing people I see before me, has been a privilege. It is something I will always treasure," she said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Without further ado, we will now begin the procession of graduates. In years past, we have always done this by house but this year, it seems many students have voiced a need to do away with that tradition. This year we have seen many new friendships form across the houses and thus we would like to honor that new sense of camaraderie," and with that the procession began as proud, smiling students rose and made their way to the stage, with Gryffindors, Slytherins, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws all intermingled.

Dozens of names were called by the headmistress as happy students crossed the stage and shook hands and exchanged tearful embraces with all the smiling professors. As they reached the end of the receiving line, they were met by Professor Snape, who presented them with a diploma and then Professor McGonagall who gave each student a golden sash draped across their shoulders, signifying their graduation.

"Hannah Abbott,"

"Pansy Parkinson,"

"Dean Thomas,"

"Seamus Finnegan,"

"Draco Malfoy,"

"Ginevra Weasley,"

At hearing Ginny's name announced, the huge group of assembled Weasley's broke out into loud and raucous applause, as the clan rose as one to honor their sister and daughter. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stood and held one another dearly, tears coming easily to their eyes, so happy and proud, realizing that this would be their last time watching one of their own children graduate. Seeing their last baby cross that stage, they felt an exquisite sadness but also a profound joy.

Hermione noted with some surprise and happiness that Harry was sitting with the Weasleys and he too stood and applauded happily for Ginny. His maturity and desire to be friends with Ginny brought a smile to Hermione's lips. It made her long to have Remus' friendship again, wishing with all heart that he was here too.

As she waited in line behind Susan Bones for her name to be called, Hermione's eyes glided over the crowd and felt a pure felicity at seeing so many happy families, cheering for the children, rejoicing together at this beautiful moment.

She realized that this was the reason so many had sacrificed so much in the name of Light, it was so the wizarding world could carry on and live and find joy. She felt such pride at having helped in some small way to preserve this way of life for so many future witches and wizards to come.

As Susan made her way across the stage, Hermione took a deep breath to calm the butterflies in her stomach as she readied herself to walk the same path.

"Before we call our last graduate to the stage," said Profesor McGonagall, "I would like to say that this student in particular is known to many of you as a bright, kind, brave, and dedicated witch. She also happens to be this year's top student. It is with great pleasure I call, Hermione Granger," said the headmistress.

At this, the crowd broke into thunderous applause and Hermione blushed at the attention. She smiled and gave a small wave to the cheering crowd, feeling tears spring to her eyes at the warm outpouring from her friends and family. Hermione walked across the stage to say good bye to each of her beloved professors.

She hugged Professors Sprout, Flitwick and Sinastra, each wishing her well and giving her heartfelt hugs.

Madam Pomfrey gave her a quick hug and kiss on her cheek and said, "I was always so worried about you, running around with Weasley and Potter. I'm glad you made it through in one piece." The older nurse looking relieved that one of her most troublesome charges was finally leaving.

Hermione approached Clemens, and the icy woman merely gave her a curt nod, but Hermione made it a point to stop, look the professor square in the eye and shake the woman's hand. Hermione was a lady after all, and wouldn't allow herself to be brought down to Clemens' level.

Hagrid scooped her up for a crushing bear hug, which caused the audience to burst out laughing at the sight. The half-giant sobbed loudly and said, "I'm really gonna miss ya, 'Ermione." She returned the fierce hug and said, "I'll miss you, too, Hagrid."

As Hagrid gently lowered her delicate frame and her feet touched the ground again, she finally made it to Professor Snape. The towering potions master first shook her hand and then pulled her in for a warm embrace and said into her ear, "You've done so well, I'm so proud of you."

She smiled at his kind, heartfelt words, their eyes meeting and sharing such respect and understanding. The young witch then turned to face Professor McGonagall. The older witch met her with a sincere smile.

"Congratulations, Hermione. We couldn't be prouder of you," said the headmistress, tears coming to her eyes.

Hermione smiled and shook her hand, feeling a well-spring of emotions bubble up. Pride, honor, happiness, all tinged with a bittersweet note. This was all coming to an end and she couldn't quite believe it.

She turned to face the crowd as Minerva slipped the golden sash up over her head and placed it gently on her small shoulders. She smiled and as she scanned the cheering crowd, locking eyes with the many smiling and cheering Weasleys, with Harry and Ron and Claudia, she felt happiness and pride. She had accomplished something that had seemed at times to be impossible, she conquered her fears and emerged victorious. There was no sweeter victory to be had.

Her eyes drifted across the sea of guests and caught sight of a tall figure, standing toward the back of the crowd. The second she noticed him, she thought the man looked familiar and as she looked more closely at him, she realized with a heart-stoping shudder, just exactly who it was.

He was wearing a tan linen suit, looking as handsome as he did those many months ago when he kissed her goodbye. He was standing and cheering for her and when their eyes met, he gave her a warm, loving smile. She froze to the spot, suddenly forgetting that she was on stage in front of hundreds, the whole world fell by the wayside as she saw only his beautiful gray eyes.

XXXXXXX

Remus hadn't planned on coming, he really didn't. But upon returning home from work the previous day, he saw a beautiful snowy white owl sitting outside the kitchen window, holding a small envelope. Remus opened the letter to see a note from Severus and a ticket to the Hogwarts Graduation Ceremony.

 _Dear Remus,_

 _Enclosed you will find a ticket to your last chance. Use it wisely._

 _Severus,_

He smiled at the note, appreciating what a romantic the feared potions master had turned into. So he awoke bright and early and arrived just as the ceremony was beginning. He had no intention of bothering her or talking to her. He didn't even sit with the Weasleys or with Harry, he didn't want to upset anyone by being here. He sat towards the back, trying to be innocuous and blend in with the happy crowd. He merely wanted to see her, take in the beauty of her one last time and watch her graduate. He was so incredibly proud of her, of her strength and brilliance and he wanted nothing more than to see her honored for all of her hard work.

As Minerva called out her name and Hermione strode confidently across the stage to wild, warm applause his heart swelled with joy. She had done so well, worked so hard, and achieved so much, all on her own merit. She was a strong, beautiful woman and he felt blessed to even know her, for she was a wonder.

When she turned and they locked eyes, his heart stopped in place, refusing to beat on its own accord. She looked happy and incredibly beautiful and it took all his self-control not to rush through the crowd and take her in for a searing kiss. He merely smiled back, knowing that his incognito routine was now blown.

XXXXX

Noting her sudden halt, Severus looked out into the crowd to see what had caused the young witch to freeze and when he saw the werewolf standing by himself in the back, Severus grinned to himself. The old wolf finally took the damn hint and got off his ass. Severus placed a gentle hand on Hermione's lower back to bring her mind into focus and he helped her off the stage, but not before quietly saying, "He's missed you, you know."

She locked eyes with her professor said a quiet, "Thank you, Severus." He nodded as she left the stage and was engulfed in a sea of happy graduates, all smiling and laughing as they made their way back to their seats for the end of the ceremony. Thankfully, her feet carried her without the aid of much thought, for her mind and heart were racing with a million different ideas.

He came today, he was really here. She wanted to race into his arms and never let him go, but she wasn't sure why he had come. The many long months of no contact had convinced her that he didn't want anything to do with her, and now, against all the crazy odds, he was here. She wanted to talk to him, hear his soothing voice, be in his lovely presence. But she also feared that this was merely another good-bye and her heart ached at the thought that this one might be final.

"Thank you all again for coming today," came Minerva's strong voice across the din of the crowd.

"Congratulations to all of our amazing graduates. As is tradition, our graduates will be taken back to the train station the same way they first came to Hogwarts, by boat. Do please enjoy the grounds and your families. Good luck to all of you and do please, take care," said the headmistress as the orchestra once again came to life to play the graduates out.

At this, Hermione shot out of her seat to go find Remus, her frantic heart needing to see him, speak with him, have him. Unfortunately the other five hundred guests and students stood at the same moment and getting anywhere became impossible as people blocked her every exit.

She slowly began to painstakingly work her way through the dense crowd. Friends and guests tried to stop her and wish her well, but Hermione only gave them brief smiles and headed toward the back of the field her eyes darting frantically across the sea of people, desperately seeking her beloved, but coming up empty-handed.

Dread was rising in her chest as fear grabbed hold of her heart. What if he had already left? What if he didn't really want to see her? She had to forcibly shake away the doubt and focus on finding him, she simply couldn't let him slip through her fingers again.

As she passed the happy Weasleys and Harry, she finally caught sight of Remus, walking away from the crowd, nearing the apparition point. She darted towards him, and shouted his name, all propriety abandoned, "Remus! Remus!"

He turned at the sound of her voice, as did half the school, as she caught up to him, her face flushed from nerves and adrenaline.

He swallowed hard at how incredible she looked, her hair slowly coming undone from running and her breath coming out in fast gasps. He also saw that the beautiful witch was still wearing his locket, and that alone broke his heart wide open.

The crowd seemed to part and back away, giving the two some much-needed space.

"Remus, you came," she said breathless, stoping in front of him, hardly believing her eyes.

"Hello, Hermione," relishing just saying her name aloud, the rich, sweet word coming out like a beautiful prayer.

Her mind and heart seemed to collide and she wasn't sure what to say now that he was actually in front of her. For months she had imagined this moment of finally seeing him again, but all of her rehearsals and fantasies left her ill-prepared to try and speak with her heart galloping like a show pony.

She finally found her voice and said lamely, "I, um...I wasn't expecting to see you. How have you been?", her eyes drinking him in like a fine, aged wine.

"I've been alright. And you? You look well." He had almost forgotten how mesmerizing her beautiful eyes were, how soothing her voice sounded, light and lilting, like a gentle summer rain.

"Yes, I've been okay, I guess," she said, hating the forced formality that seemed to hang between them.

"Severus has told me that you're headed to the Salem Institute to apprentice. That sounds like such an amazing opportunity, you must be ecstatic," he said, offering a warm smile.

"Not really," she said, stepping closer to him, finding herself hypnotized by his piercing eyes and lovely scent.

"I'd much rather stay in England, but this Salem position just seemed like my best offer," she answered honestly.

He nodded, pretending to agree. At this they fell into silence, both wanting to say so much and neither knowing quite where to start. They settled for staring into eachother's eyes as if they each contained the very secrets of the universe.

He finally broke the contact, and started to pull away. "I, um, I really should be heading off," he said, trying to convince her as much as himself. "Congratulations, Hermione. I wish you all the best, I'm sure you're going to have a wonderful life," he said offering her a small smile. He turned to leave but her words stopped him.

"I've missed you," she finally managed, as her throat stung with welled-up emotion.

"I've...I've missed you as well," he said, fighting valiently to keep things at surface level. For he knew if they delved deeper, he wouldn't be able to pull back.

"I don't blame you for hating me, Remus," she finally said. "After everything I've done to you. I cost you your job, your reputation, I messed everything up. I'm so very sorry. I hope you can forgive me one day," she said.

He turned and smiled softly at the beautiful woman before him and stepped closer to her, "I could never hate you, Hermione. Not ever. And you didn't ruin my life. I knew what I was risking when I kissed you and it was my consequence to deal with. I'd do it all again in a heart beat, I don't regret it, not for a minute. Being with you, that was the happiest day of my whole life."

Tears welled in her lovely brown eyes at his honest words. "I've written to you" she said. "Every single day. I wrote to you, begging you to come back, to forgive me, telling you how much I adore you. I just never found the courage to send them."

She raised her wand and said, " _Occio Letters."_

With this, a stack of neatly tied, cream-colored envelopes, all addressed to Remus, came flying to her hand. She swallowed and said, "I want you to have them," and handed them to him. As she did their fingers touched and she felt her skin burn with longing. At the contact, their eyes met and seemed to disappear into eachother for what seemed like an eternity.

Their trance was broken when they heard Hagrid bellow across the pitch, "All graduates will follow me to the boat to make their final trip to the train station."

As happy, crying seventh-years all started off for the waiting boat, Remus and Hermione didn't move an inch, seemingly incapable of such an implausible act.

"You should really get going, you've got a lot waiting for you," he finally said, trying to sound bright but failing miserably, his eyes betraying the anguished that churned within.

But rather than depart, she stepped forward and said, "Do you really want me to go, Remus?", her eyes full of hope and fear.

He swallowed hard and nodded, pushing down his own profound longing. "Yes, I do. You've got your whole future ahead of you. Go," the last word coming out full sadness as he turned to leave.

Her eyes burned with tears, but she wouldn't let them fall. She reached forward to grab his hand and pulled him to a stop. She knew this was her last chance. After this, he would be gone forever. So she chose to put it all on the line, for she really had nothing left to lose.

"If you really don't love me, if every kind word and promise we're nothing but lies, then say that. Tell me you don't love me. Say it, Remus. Tell me it was all some act or a mistake and I'll leave you alone. I'll never seek you out again. But I need to hear you say the words if I'm ever going to give up on having you," she said, ever the brave Gryffindor.

He stood stone silent, his heart seized with indecision. This was the moment. He just had to give her one little push and she would be gone forever. He knew she deserved better and he wanted nothing but the best for his love.

Was he going to follow his head or his heart?

He closed his eyes and summoned all his courage to rebuff her once and for all. But as he opened his eyes and took in her beautiful face, her lovely honey-brown eyes so full of love and hope, he found he couldn't say the words that needed to be said. He simply couldn't lie to her.

His eyes welling with tears, he slowly said, "No, no it wasn't a lie. It was never a lie."

He reached up and tenderly touched her cheek with such an aching tenderness. She finally let the tears fall and leaned into his warm touch.

Never had such simple words sounded so beautiful, Hermione's heart swelled with hope. She smiled through her tears and said, "I think you still love me. You love me just as much as I love you."

At this, she knelt down, both knees in the soft grass before her love and looked up at him, the whole school quietly watching this exchange with bated breath.

Tenderly holding his soft hand, she said, "I want to be with you, Remus, forever. I want to marry you and be your partner. I want to have children with you and grow old with you. I can't possibly imagine a better life. If you want me, I'm yours to have. I love you with all my heart and soul."

She paused and gathered all of her courage and a steadying breath and said, "Remus John Lupin, will you give me the honor of becoming my husband? Will you marry me?"

Never had anyone spoken such beautiful words to him. Loved him just as he was, for all his faults and problems. He felt awestruck and humbled by the beautiful witch kneeling before him in supplication. She could literally have any man she wanted and yet she was choosing him, his heart broke wide open at the happiness that spread through him like a tidal wave. He finally gave in and felt the sweet rush take hold and pull him away.

He knelt down with her, tears in his eyes and kissed her, the sweetness and love overwhelming as the two became one in a moment of sheer bliss. This kiss was his complete undoing, months of longing and anguish vanished in an instant as her beautiful lips met his with fire and passion and love.

He pulled back and looked her in the eye, cupping her lovely face in his warm hands and said, "Hermione Jean Granger, I love you more than life itself. And I would be proud and honored to be your husband." She smiled and cried and pulled him into another incredible kiss, her heart swelling with unspeakable joy. He was hers and she would never let anyone take him away again.

Seeing this, the whole school burst into wild applause and hoots of joy as Remus stood and swept Hermione up in an earth-shattering kiss and twirled her around in his arms for good measure. She threw her head back and laughed at the incredible sensation. She was going to be his forever and he wanted the whole world to know.

"Way to go, Granger!", and "Why do the smart ones always get the guy?", could be heard from the ecstatic crowd as the lovers smiled and clung fiercely to eachother. Their hearts were finally at peace, just as they should be, fused as one at the very core.

Draco and Ginny smiled and held one another as they watched their friend finally find true happiness. Ginny wiped a tear away at the beautiful sight.

Snape applauded and smiled, happy that his friend had finally come to his senses and gone after what mattered most.

Minerva gave a sigh and said, "Well, I guess Lupin was a man of his word after all," locking eyes with Severus and offering a small smile.

"I think you knew that all along, Minerva," said Severus, smiling back.

Minerva knew what she had to do. She gave Severus a knowing nod and they both walked toward the happy couple.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Lupin, I hate to interrupt you but Professor Snape and I would like a word," said the headmistress.

Remus reluctantly pulled away from his other half, clutching her small hand in his and turned their attention to Minerva.

"I would like to apologize for how I've treated you both, you especially, Remus. I should have never doubted your honorable intentions. I was wrong to fire you," said the headmistress, her voice full of contrition.

"I understand why you did what you did, Minerva. I never bore you any ill will," said Remus, his face sincere.

"Thank you for that, Remus. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I certainly appreciate it," said Minerva.

"If you are willing, Remus, perhaps you would consider returning to Hogwarts and taking your old job back? It turns out I'm quite dreadful at teaching defense and the students miss you terribly," the headmistress offered with a warm smile.

Her offer stunned him beyond words. He dearly missed teaching, for he had been his happiest in front of a classroom, the offer was so tempting. But he knew how much Hermione needed her apprenticeship and wouldn't stand in the way of that. He would support her no matter what.

"I'm sincerely grateful for the offer but I can't accept it. I'm sorry Minerva, but Hermione is going to America to apprentice and I am going to go and be with her," said Remus, clutching Hermione's hand.

"Perhaps I can sweeten the offer then," said Severus. "I would very much like it if Hermione would agree to be my potions apprentice for the next year, in lieu of studying at Salem Institute. With this offer, would you both be willing to stay at Hogwarts?"

Hermione's mouth dropped open, "You've never had an apprentice before. Not even once. You can't be serious? You'd really want me?"

"The simple reason I've never taken an apprentice before is that there has never been a student worth having as one. I believe you to be the exception, you will make a brilliant potions mistress. I would be honored if you'd consider my offer. I promise not to be too unbearable. Besides we can't have the Americans poaching our best and brightest witches," he said with a smile.

Remus and Hermione stared at eachother disbelieving what was happening. He would do whatever she wanted, her happiness was the thing that mattered most to him. He looked at her with questioning eyes, and said, "It's up to you, dearest. I'll happily do whatever you want."

She knew he would follow her to the ends of the world if she asked, that's how much he loved her. She also knew how happy he was at Hogwarts and how happy she would be here, too. So with a smile she turned to Minerva and said, "I believe Remus and I would both like to remain here. Thank you for this amazing offer. We look forward to beginning this fall."

"Thank you for this, Minerva. I promise to give my very best to you and the students," said an elated Remus.

"I'm sure you will, Professor Lupin," Minerva said with a smile as she turned to walk away.

"I look forward to the fall, Miss Granger," said a smiling Severus.

"As do I, Professor Snape. Thank you for this opportunity," said Hermione, shaking the potions master's hand and feeling weightless with delight.

Severus smirked at the love birds before him, glad that he could help them in some small way. He turned to walk away and offer them some privacy but before he could get far, he felt Remus grab ahold of him.

"Severus, thank you," said Remus, bringing his friend in for a tight hug. "I owe you, for everything," he said quietly.

"Be good to her, Remus. She deserves the best," said Severus, giving Remus a pat on the shoulder as he turned to join the rest of the faculty who were busy bidding farewell to the departing students.

"Well, it looks like you're good and stuck with me now," said Hermione, smiling up at Remus with a look of pure joy.

"Then I'm truly the luckiest man alive," he said, bringing his lips to hers once more, feeling the heat and love surge through him with wild abandon.

Soon, the blissful couple were again kissing passionately and lost in one another's embrace, relishing the exquisite pleasure of having one another again after what felt like years apart.

After several minutes passed, Hagrid let out a not-too-subtle cough, and asked rather sheepishly, "Eh, 'Ermione? You, eh, coming on the boat, or eh, you heading back a different way?"

She pulled back from Remus, a ridiculously happy look on his beautiful face. "I think we'll stay for a bit, Hagrid. Thank you," she called out with a smile, not taking her eyes off of her love.

With that, the boat shoved away from the shore, taking almost all of the graduates back to Hogsmeade for their last trip to Kings' Cross Station and away from Hogwarts for the last time.

Hermione waved to her friends and cried with tears of joy as Remus pulled her in for a comforting hug, his arms wrapped tightly around her, she felt loved and protected.

She finally felt whole.

"Are you alright, love?", he asked, looking down at her, tenderly tucking an errant curl behind her ear.

She smiled, her heart full to bursting with joy and said, "I've never been better."

 **A/N: Finally a bit of happiness for our dear characters. I know this story has had quite a bit of angst, but I hope this chapter helps make up for it :) We still have a few more chapters before we're done, so stay tuned for more and as always your reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer : I still don't own Harry Potter. Shocking, I know ;)**

 **Hello, everyone :) Sorry about the delay. I fell down a rabbit hole reading some very good Remione fics and then I wrote a new little one-shot called** ** _Teach Me Tonight._** **Look it up under my profile if you like, it's another sweet Remione pairing.**

 **Last we left, Hermione graduated, got back together with her one true love and both her & Remus would be returning to Hogwarts as a teacher and apprentice. Our story fast-forwards a bit now. Hope you enjoy it. Still not quite done either, one more chapter after this one :)**

 _One Year Later_

Hermione paced back and forth in the small examination room at St. Mungo's Hosptial, the furious click of her heels on the cement floor, mimicked her own racing heart rate. She was watching a test subject through a one-way, glass observation window, carefully monitoring their vital signs, and the magical clock on the cold, white, sterile wall.

The past year of her apprenticeship was quickly coming to a close and tonight her and Severus were yet again testing out the potion they had spent ten painstaking months developing. Hermione didn't want to get her hopes up, their forty-five previous tests had failed. But deep down she hoped tonight's would be the one that finally worked. Her apprenticeship was ending in two weeks and she would marry Remus the week after that. She wanted so desperately to have something important to show for this year of hard work and sacrifice.

She watched Severus enter the exam room and give the patient a vile of bubbling, bright bright green potion. As the patient took the disgusting concoction, pulling quite the sour face as she swallowed, Severus recited a quiet incantation. Hermione recorded the start time on her clipboard and watched the patient with wide, alert eyes.

"You will stay here in this room while we monitor your vital signs for the next two hours. Barring any complications, you should be able to go home after that," said Severus.

The subject, a young woman with a short blonde bob-haircut, not much older than Hermione, nodded and sat nervously in the chair. Severus left and joined Hermione to observe in the adjacent room.

Hermione bit her bottom lip, wishing for the time to pass by more quickly. The clocked clicked and time passed painfully slow. Finally the two hours were up and their test subject hadn't experienced anything at all, at least no outward changes.

Severus blew out a breath, "Well, no discernable changes, what do you think?"

Hermione put her head in her hands and let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. As she lifted her head, she gave Severus a genuine smile and said, "I think we've finally done it."

XXXXXXXX

She could feel him. She knew he was there, even though her eyes were closed. Could smell him, feel his warmth near her, like rays from the sun. She smiled knowing how close he was.

She stretched and rolled over in her small bed in the Burrow's uppermost bedroom to find Remus sitting on the floor, smiling at her.

"What are you doing here?", she asked, yawning and peeling her eyes, open.

She smiled at her handsome husband-to-be, who was kneeling beside her bed, looking relaxed and content. He brushed her luscious curls from her face to bend forward and kiss her lovely lips.

"You know you're not supposed to be here, it's bad luck," she said smiling, obviously happy to be with him.

"Ah, that's just some silly muggle superstition. Besides we don't need luck," he said, kissing the palm of her hand, "We have each other."

For the past few weeks, they had been so busy preparing for this day, the day they would finally be wed. The Weasleys had graciously hosted their rehearsal dinner at the Burrow and Hermione had spent the night there while Remus returned to the quarters they shared at Hogwarts. When he awoke though and remembered that Hermione wasn't there with him, he simply had to see her and be with her. Superstitions be damned. He dressed quickly and floo'd to the Burrow full of sleeping Weasleys before sunrise, and quietly crept to her bedroom, just so he could watch her sleep.

"You've never been more beautiful. I'm one lucky man," he said taking in the sight of her with awe and wonder.

"I'm sorry, I just had to see you before the ceremony," he said sheepishly, like a child being caught sneaking candy.

"Is something wrong?", she asked, taking his hands in hers, her face suddenly betraying her nerves.

He smiled indulgently, "No, dearest, nothing at all. I just wanted to have you all to myself before this day began. I can't wait to become your husband," he said, holding her hand, kneeling before her.

"I also wanted to give you something," he said, pulling out his wand as she sat up in bed.

He sat down beside her and gently pulled the locket away from her skin and held it in his hands, his wand pointed at it and murmured a spell she had never heard of. When he finished, he pulled the locket open to show the previously empty space now had two pictures, one of Hermione and one of Remus, both as children.

She had tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Remus. This is incredible."

In the enchanted picture of Remus, he was probably four or five yeas old and was smiling, his sweet face full of joy, his eyes bright and kind, just like the man she loved today. Young Remus broke into giggles and looked away, his face so delighted and free of worry. She knew right then and there it was her life's mission to bring that weightless joy back to her beloved forever.

Then she caught sight of the picture of herself as a girl and paused.

"How...how did you get this picture of me? This isn't one of the ones I have left from my parents. How did you do this?", she asked, her voice cracking at the sight of her childhood herself.

It was a picture from a memory of baking cookies with her mother for Christmas. In the photo, she was five years old. She remembered it clearly, the warmth of their kitchen, the smell of spices, her small hands covered in sugar and flour and the sweet kisses her mother gave her. It was truly beautiful to see and experience again.

"It's a powerful summoning spell that draws an image from a person's memory. Severus taught it to me," he said, smiling at the pictures.

"You look so happy in this picture," he said. "So beautiful. I hope we have a daughter some day and I hope she looks just like you," he said, closing the locket and giving her a tender kiss.

"I love you, Remus. I can't wait to become your wife," she said, the tears now threatening to fall.

"I have a present for you, as well," she said. "But I want to wait to give it to you until after the ceremony, if that's alright?", she asked.

"Of course, love," he said, slightly puzzled, wondering what she had in store for him.

"I should really get going," he finally said. "Everyone will be up soon and you have to start getting ready. If Molly finds me up here, she'll tar and feather me," he said with a sweet smile.

But as he stood to leave, Hermione pulled him back for a passionate, longing kiss. She deepened it and held him tight, feeling every part of him; the soft stubble on his face, the mintiness of his mouth, the feel of his soft hands, holding her with such a fierce grip. She wanted to know and remember every inch of him, every little thing that made up this incredible man, for his love was a gift the likes of which she had never known. She couldn't bear to let him go.

He slowly pulled away and said, "Love, we should really stop," his voice hoarse and his body humming with excitement as he chanced a nervous glance at her bedroom door. "Someone could walk in...", he tried to offer but she silenced him with another lingering kiss, as she pulled off the old t-shirt of his that she always slept in and climbed into his lap, completely naked.

"I think we have a little bit of time," she said, her voice low and full of wanting.

He smiled and felt dizzy from the heat, then leaned into the sweet kiss, abandoning all worry and concern. After all, he loved her far too much to ever deny her anything.

XXXXXXXX

Hours later found a nervous Remus pacing the front living room in the Burrow, dressed in crisp, dark gray dress robes, feeling excited, happy and inexplicably nervous. Severus watched with amusement.

"Remus, do try and sit down. You're going to wear a whole straight through the floorboards," said Severus as he waited with the nervous groom, along with Harry, Ron, George and Bill.

"Ah, he's just a bit nervous," said Arthur. "It's alright, Remus, we all have a bit of nerves on the big day. It's only natural," said the older man, clapping a friendly hand to his shoulder.

Ron and Bill gave sympathetic nods, "Yeah, I threw up twice on my wedding day," said Bill who was holding his young daughter Victoire while Fleur and all the women helped Hermione get ready upstairs.

"I was more scatter-brained than anxious on my wedding day," said Ron smiling at the memory.

"I forgot to wear socks that day, Mum damn near busted a gasket when she saw the wedding pictures."

"It just means you're excited. Today's gonna be great, Remus," said a smiling Harry.

"Hermione is the best, you're one lucky bastard," said Ron as he threw Remus a smirk.

"That I am," Remus said, smiling.

Suddenly the front door opened and in walked a tall, beautiful woman who looked momentarily lost but brightened as she locked eyes with Remus.

"Remus! Congratulations on your big day!", she said, bringing him in for a warm hug.

"Marie, I'm so glad you could make it!", he smiled.

Turning to all his friends, Remus said, "Gentlemen, may I introduce my cousin, Marie Ward."

The assembled company all stood and welcomed the lovely woman warmly but no one seemed as taken with her as the potions master. She was the daughter of Remus' mother's sister and she was beautiful. She was in her early thirties, tall, with an effortless grace about her. Her shoulder length sandy blonde hair and brilliant blue eyes, combined to have a devestating effect on Severus, who took the young woman's hand and bowed deeply.

"Miss Ward, it is a pleasure to meet you," Severus said, his voice warm and welcoming as he took in her beauty with pleasure.

"She's a healer at St. Mungo's, she works mostly with children," said Remus but he could see that the potions master hadn't really taken in his words, for he was too taken in by the seemingly bottomless depths of the young woman's deep blue eyes. His cousin smiled sweetly at the attention and looked away to hide her blush.

For once in his life, the loquacious Severus Snape, was at a loss for words as he smiled rather sincerely at the lovely woman before him. A friendly hand on his back from Remus pulled him from his reverie as he grasped for anything to say to the stunning woman before him.

"You know, Marie," said Remus, who was trying valiantly to help his dear friend. "Severus here is our potions master at Hogwarts and he's single-handedly patented many healing potions, I'm sure you two would have a lot to talk about," said an amused Remus.

Marie smiled brightly and said, "That's fascinating. I'd love to pick your brain about an idea I have for possible uses for ditany and brittle honeysuckle extract as a new pain relief medicine. My early trials are promising but I could definitely use an expert such as yourself. Maybe after the ceremony, we could have a drink and discuss it further, that is if my cousin won't be needing you?", she asked, smiling sweetly, her voice like a siren's call to the entranced professor.

Regaining some composure, Severus gently cleared his throat and said, "Why yes, that would be lovely, Miss Ward."

Placing a warm hand on Severus' arm that caused his breath to catch, she said, "Please, call me Marie. I'll look for you after the ceremony, Severus," she smiled and disappeared back out the front door to wait with the rest of the guests.

As she left, a stunned Severus turned around to see a room full of friends smirking at him.

"What are you all looking at?", he said attempting to be intimidating but failing miserably as a crimson blush inched its way up his pale cheeks.

"Ooohhhh, Severus likes a girl!", teased Harry in a playful, sing-song voice. Severus should have been angry but Harry's smiling face showed only genuine happiness for the long-suffering potions master. The other chuckled softly at this.

Remus slung a friendly arm around Severus' shoulder and said, "It's perfectly alright to like a lady, Severus. Marie is quite lovely and currently unattached. You should talk to her later."

Severus looked momentarily flustered by the attention but quickly shook the unfamiliar feeling away and gave his good friend a simple nod.

"Yes, perhaps I will. I'm sure we would have quite a bit in common, professionally-speaking. I'm sure I would enjoy speaking with her," he said rather stiffly, trying to hide his feelings.

"Oh, I bet you'll find more to do than talk," smirked Ron, who was absolutely delighted to be able to rib Severus without fear of point loss or threat of detention.

"Wouldn't you like to know, Mr. Weasley," Severus smirked back.

The tension broken, the men sat patiently awaiting the bride.

Finally, Molly came bustling down the steps with Fleur in tow and said, "Alright, gentlemen, I do believe we're all ready. Arthur, George, will you go and make sure the guests are seated and that the wizard from the ministry is all set to start."

"Ginny and Luna will bring Hermione down in a moment so all of you get going and find your places," said Molly, happy to have all her ducklings together for such a happy event.

As Bill, Fleur, Victorie and Arthur went out to the garden to make sure everything was ready, Severus turned to Remus and said with a smile, "Well, friend, are you ready?"

His heart beating like a snare drum, Remus closed his eyes, took a deep breath and said, "I've never been more ready."

Severus smiled, clapped his back and said, "Well, then, let's get you married."

XXXXXX

The Burrow's front garden was transformed into an elegant, intimate setting. Rows of white chairs were filled with dear friends and family, everyone looked happy as the sun was sinking in the pink summer sky and enchanted lights twinkled from the surrounding trees. Gardenias, lilies and white roses covered each chair back and a large trellis covered in fragrant night-blooming jasmine was arranged as an altar.

A long, white carpet led from the house all the way to the altar where Remus and his best man, Severus, were waiting, along with Arthur as a groomsman. The string quartet began to play and soon Luna and Ginny joined them at the altar as Hermione's bridesmaid and maid of honor. Bill then walked in with Fleur and Victorie and Draco accompanied Mrs. Weasley.

Remus gathered all his courage as the quartet changed their melody to announce that his bride was coming. As the burrow door opened, out stepped Ron who held out his hand for Hermione, with Harry bringing up the rear, adjusting her long train as best he could.

Hermione took both Ron's arm and Harry's as her two oldest friends walked her down the aisle to meet her soulmate. Remus felt breathless with joy as he saw his beautiful bride walking towards him. If he lived to be a thousand, he would never forget how she looked at that very moment, radiant, like the sun itself shone from within her. Graceful, in a long, flowing white silk gown, her beautiful curls cascading down her back, her face bright from smiling. He felt tears of joy prick his eyes at the sight, as Severus handed him a crisp, white handkerchief.

"She looks beautiful, Remus," Severus said, placing a reassuring hand on his back. It wasn't the first time Severus wished he too had someone to share his life with.

Remus turned to him and smiled at the words as he wiped away his tears. He had never seen her look so happy or more beautiful.

As she reached her beloved, Ron and Harry gave her sweet kisses on her cheek and shook hands with Remus.

"You take good care of our girl," Harry said softly, his voice full of so many emotions, as he gave Remus a warm hug.

"I promise, Harry, I always will," said Remus and Harry knew truer words had never been spoken.

As Harry and Ron took their seats, Remus took Hermione's hand in his and placed a tender kiss on her cheek, "You're so beautiful. I love you," he whispered.

"I love you so much, Remus," she whispered back.

The small, bespeckled officiant smiled at the sweet couple and began the ceremony.

"Dearly, beloved. We are gathered here today to witness the eternal union of two dear souls. To quote a much-loved muggle poet, 'Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds or bends with the remover to remove. Oh, no. It is an ever-fixed mark, that looks on tempests and is never shaken.'"

"Remus and Hermione have faced many a challenge and yet their love has persevered. It has grown and thrived and we are here to honor that love and their commitment to eachother."

"As a symbol of that commitment, the happy couple will now exchange their vows."

"Hermione Jean Granger, do you promise to take Remus John Lupin as your husband, forsaking all others and be only unto him? To love, honor, cherish and protect him, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for as long as you both shall live?", the small officiant asked, peering over his glasses at the blushing bride.

She smiled through her tears and said, "I do, with all my heart."

"Remus John Lupin, do you promise to take Hermione Jean Granger as your wife, forsaking all others and be only unto her? To love, honor, cherish and protect her, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for as long as you both shall live?"

Looking into her eyes, Remus could see his future, his children, growing old, every single thing he always wanted. With tears in his eyes, he said, "I do. Always and forever, I do," bringing her delicate fingers to his lips for a sweet kiss, his eyes full of adoration.

She squeezed his hands at his beautiful words, feeling positively euphoric.

"You will now offer one another a ring, a sacred bond of love that no man can break," the officiant said, as Ginny and Severus each produced simple, gold wedding bands. Remus and Hermione clasped eachother hands and positioned the rings right atop the tips of eachother's ring fingers.

"As you slip the bands onto eachother's hands, kindly repeat after me," said the officiant, "Please take this ring as a symbol of my everlasting love and devotion."

They repeated the words as the bands slipped into place with ease. The bands immediately glowed white and slowly changed back to shining gold, each fitting perfectly.

"Remus, you may now kiss your bride," he said smiling.

And Remus took her beautiful face in with both hands and gave her a heart stopping kiss, a kiss that promised a lifetime full of happiness and love. A kiss that meant the beginning of amazing things to come. They smiled at eachother as all their dear loved ones cheered and clapped. They joined hands, their fingers intertwined, not knowing where one stopped and the other began.

"It is with great happiness and pride that I now introduce Mr. and Mrs. Remus and Hermione Lupin," said the officiant.

The crowd burst into thunderous applause but Remus and Hermione couldn't hear a thing, for they were too lost in eachother, too blissful to take in anything else at all. They finally had one another, forever and ever, and that was all that mattered.

XXXXXXX

The reception that followed was a loud, raucous, happy, celebration full of mirth and pure joy. It was, in short, a perfect Weasley party.

The newlyweds danced and held hands and smiled till their faces hurt, their laughter cutting through the thick, warm night air.

After hours of celebrating, the happy couple finally sat to enjoy the delicious, triple-tiered chocolate cake that Molly had lovingly prepared. As they relaxed, Hermione finally caught Severus' eye, who had been having quite the lovely time with Remus' cousin, and gave him a slight nod. At this sign, the potions master politely excused himself from Marie, stood and began walking towards the newlyweds.

"Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, perhaps I could bother you both for a private word?", Severus asked, as he carried in his pale hands a small black box.

Hermione nodded and took Remus' hand in hers as she followed the potions master out of the large tent and into the clear evening, heading towards the garden.

"Dearest, I'd like you to have your present now," she said, looking up at her beautiful husband.

"I think you've already given me everything I could ever ask for and more," said Remus, giving her a sweet, lingering kiss.

She smiled at him and said, "Oh, no, this is something very special I want you to have. But I actually want Severus to give it to you," said Hermione tilting her head at Severus.

Remus looked genuinely confused, "Why is Severus giving it to me?", Remus asked.

Hermione only smiled in response.

Severus held out the small black box. As Remus opened it, he discovered it contained a thin vial full of bubbling green potion. Remus looked more confused than ever.

"This is the potion that Hermione and I have been working on for the last year. After numerous trials, we have finally perfected it and have submitted it for a patent with the ministry," said Severus.

Remus held the vial and looked up expectantly at the pair.

"And what exactly does this potion do?", Remus asked smiling.

Hermione smiled and took a deep breath and said, "When ingested and said with a specific incantation, we've found that it neutralizes all traces of werewolf blood from a lycanthrope's body."

His heart stopped at her words, and he looked to Severus for some kind of explanation, for surely she wasn't saying what he thought she was saying. It simply wasn't possible.

"Dearest," her eyes full of tears, her voice thick with emotion, "this potion will cure you of your lyncathropy."

As she took in his stunned face, she suddenly panicked.

What if this angered him? What if he mistook this as her rejecting him as he was?

She loved him for everything he was, including his lyncathropy. She had done this so that he might be free and finally live a life without worry or potions or precautions. She gently took his free hand and tilted his face up so that she could see his eyes, the one part of him that always easily gave away his internal state.

As she lifted his chin and their eyes met, she found him on the verge of tears as he pulled her in for a crushing hug.

"You really did this?", he said, his voice barely louder than a whisper. His face buried deep in her thick mound of curls, his voice breaking as the tears finally fell.

"Are you angry?", she asked, her voice muffled as her face buried in his heaving chest.

"How on earth could I be angry?", he said, pulling her back so he could look in her eyes.

"You did this for me? This...this really will work?", he asked, still not quite believing what was happening.

"Yes, we've thoroughly tested it and have successfully cured 12 lycanthropes," said Severus.

"So I'll really be...cured? I'll never transform again?", his voice cracking with emotion.

"Never again. No transformations, no more pain. It'll all go away," she said, holding his hands.

"And, um...our children, they would be...safe? They would never have it?", he asked.

She smiled and nodded, "It will be completely gone from your body, thus our children would never be at risk of contracting it."

At this, he put his head in his hands and cried tears of pure relief, his body heaving with every sob. He had always, always wanted children, especially with Hermione, but the thought of passing his painful, debilitating condition onto a child gave him pause. That his future children would now be safe from the life of pain and ostracization he had known brought him unspeakable joy. He sat down on a chair to stop his head from spinning.

"How long have you had this?", Remus asked Hermione as he finally caught his breath.

"Three weeks," she stated calmly.

"The full moon was last week, why did you wait to give it to me?", he asked, confused.

"I know and I'm sorry I didn't give it to you sooner but I wanted to wait. Because, dearest," she said, crouching down to look him in the eyes, "I wanted to marry you first. I didn't want you thinking that I needed to change you before I would marry you. Because I want you to know that this potion doesn't change anything for me. You don't have to change to please me because I love you just the way you are right now. You can choose to take it or not, it's your decision. Either way, I will love and honor you forever, Remus."

He took her lips in a fierce kiss, his tears streaming down his face as Severus watched with a truly contented smile.

"You both have given me such an incredible gift. I can't adequately put into words what you're saving me from. You'll never know the pain...I just...I really can't believe this is real," said a truly shocked Remus.

"It is, dear friend, it is," said Severus placing a warm hand on his shoulder.

Remus stood and pulled Severus in for a tight hug, and Severus returned it in equal force, knowing all too well the joy of being set free from a cruel master.

Remus pulled back and smiled, "I would like to take it now. That is if you are able to do the incantation?", his eyes hopeful and redolent with immense gratitude.

Severus pulled out his wand but then stopped, "I do believe Mrs. Lupin would like the honors."

Hermione smiled and accio'd her wand and gripped it tightly.

She swallowed and looked at Remus and asked, "Are you certain? Do you want some time to think about this? You know I will be happy with whatever you decide."

Remus had dreamt of this moment since he was four years old. So many times, he closed his eyes against the darkness and dreamt of the promise of a cure. When the pain was excruciating, when his distant, cold father would lock him in a steel cage each month, when his mother would cry bitter tears at her only son's terrible fate. When people taunted him, shunned him, hated him, he would dream of this. A cure; a true, lasting freedom. Nothing could compare to having this. And the fact that Hermione made it possible was all the assurance he needed that this was the right thing to do.

He smiled, nodded and swallowed the potion in a single gulp.

Hermione pointed her wand at Remus and recited the verse,

 _"Liberare bestiam ab intus procedunt,_

 _dimiserit hominem._

 _Purga animum,_

 _Cor eius santabunt,_

 _Hoc totum corpus interum."_

With these words, a bright glowing light emitted from Hermione's wand and engulfed Remus' body in a golden glow that seemed to hum and vibrate with magical energy. The wind around them cracked with energy as a dark green mist withdrew from Remus' body and his eyes flew open wide at the tingling sensation that enveloped his body.

As the air slowly cleared, Remus looked shaken, like he had seen a ghost. Hermione stepped forward and asked, "Dearest, are you alright? How do you feel?"

He slowly found his breath and said, "I feel...", he paused, shaking his head to clear his jumbled thoughts. "I feel...I feel like a horrible weight has been lifted. I feel whole."

He pulled his amazing wife tightly and said, "Thank you, Hermione. You'll never know how much this means to me. I can never repay this debt."

"You've loved me and promised me your lifelong devotion. I would say that's more than enough," she said, giving him a tender kiss.

"Everything is going to be just fine. Trust me," she said. He nodded knowing that his lovely wife was always right.

XXXXX

The rest of the night felt surreal; it was too beautiful, too full of joy, too perfect. Remus realized with some sadness that he had lived a long life full of strife, pain and worry. He had expected, rather rightfully so, that things would always go poorly, usually because they did. This year and this night in particular taught him that everything little thing had changed. That happiness wasn't something to fear as a sign of impending doom. Happiness it turned out, wasn't to be avoided but rather courted and savored. He was going to have a long, happy life with this incredible woman and that crazy thought was something he was going to have to get used to.

Remus turned to his new bride and pulled her in for a sweet kiss.

"Mrs. Lupin, may I have this dance?", he said, relishing the sound of her new surname.

"Why, yes, Professor Lupin, you may."

They had the whole dance floor to themselves, their dear friends all watching with smiles from the surrounding tables.

They danced and held one another, feeling not only their own joy, but the happiness of all of those around them. The room positively hummed with it. Ron and Claudia had been married not two months ago and they looked blissful. Ginny and Draco had just bought a home in London and we're intended be to wed by Christmas. Even Harry was happy, having brought his new girlfriend, Shannon, a sweet young woman who worked at Flourish and Blotts when Remus had been their. Remus had in fact been the one to introduce them. Even Severus looked happy as he sat chatting happily with Marie. Soon, friends joined them on the dance floor to enjoy the music and the stars and eachother. Everything was perfect.

Bill and Fleur danced while they held their sleeping daughter, Victoire, in their arms, gazing at each other with such love. Seeing this, Hermione felt a pang in her chest and knew what she wanted.

"Remus?", she asked, her head still resting against his chest.

"Yes, my love?", he said, holding her tight.

"Do you think we could have a baby soon?", she asked.

He looked down at her, her eyes both hopeful and happy.

"Are you sure, dearest?", he asked.

"I think I'm ready. That is, of course, if you are?"

The thought of her belly swelling with his child left him breathless with joy. Tears in his eyes, he nodded and said, "I think that would be incredible."

He kissed her soundly, imagining all the amazing years that lay ahead with his dearest love, the possibilities feeling like a dream.

He smiled down at her and whispered in her ear, "Well then, Mrs. Lupin, if it's children you want, I think we should get started right away," his breath sending shivers of excitement down her spine.

She smiled and said, "I thought you'd never ask."

 **A/N: Hope this was enjoyed. I really debated the whole 'finding a cure for lycanthrope' thing. On the one hand, I know Hermione would love him no matter what, but I also felt that Remus had suffered quite a tough life with it and Hermione would want to offer him an opportunity at some normalcy. Also, I've never seen anyone write about curing his condition and I felt like if anyone could do it, it would be the Severus and Hermione potion powerhouse :)**

 **Also, the 'much loved muggle poet' is Shakespeare and the poem is his 116th sonnet, a beautiful poem I've long loved and thought it fit the couple quite perfectly.**

 **Translation for the lycanthrope spell:**

 ** _Free the beast from within_**

 ** _Release the man_**

 ** _Cleanse the soul_**

 ** _Purify the heart_**

 ** _Make the body whole again_**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.**

 **A/N: Well this is it, the last chapter. Just wanted to say a big 'thank you' to everyone who has stopped by to read and offer a review. I especially want to thank** ** _AprilJuneMay_** **for her thoughtful, kind, encouraging reviews, this last chapter is for her :)**

 **Lastly, I'd like to thank my very own Remus; my dear, sweet husband, who not only gave me his heart many years ago, but also inspires me everyday and graciously puts up with all my craziness. This story is humbly dedicated to him.**

 _Five Years Later_

Hermione sat contentedly in her husband's arms, the pair enjoying the setting summer sun as the light glistened and danced across the rippling lake. The warm breeze rustled the verdant leaves in the trees, hummingbirds flittered by and Hermione admired the beautiful castle shining in the golden sunlight. Today was their fifth wedding anniversary and the young woman marveled at how much her world had changed in those few short years.

After traveling the wizarding world for six months, offering their lycanthrope cure to all in need, Severus and Hermione returned to Hogwarts as heroes once more. Minerva retired shortly thereafter, opting to travel and take some much needed time for herself. She happily appointed Severus as Headmaster, knowing that the school would be in good hands and the castle indeed grew and thrived under his watchful, focused attention. With her apprenticeship finished and the potions position left vacant, Hermione was then hired as the new potions mistress and she and Remus taught side by side, as the co-heads of Gryffindor House. The pair were beloved by students across all the houses as creative, kind and dedicated teachers. Defense and Potions quickly became everyone's favorite classes. Neville and Luna married the following year and Neville was then hired as the Herbology professor to replace an ailing Professor Sprout. And two years ago Draco had been hired as the History professor, replacing Clemens as she headed to Durmstrang, hoping a new school was a bit more receptive and appreciative of her.

Yes, so much had changed in these few short years. The castle felt renewed in so many ways, as the young professors brought with them an energy and vitality that seemed to breath new life into the school. With Neville, Luna, Draco and Ginny living in the castle, it felt truly like home to Hermione Lupin.

Their fellow friends and faculty slowly trickled out of the castle to join them in the grass on this lovely evening. School had just let out the week before and the castle felt mercifully empty and quiet. It would have indeed been quiet by the lake too, were it not for the giggles and chatter of Kate and Ollie Lupin, their twin four-year olds, splashing about by the lake's edge.

Katherine looked just like Hermione, small and fierce, with impossibly curly, long auburn hair and a quick wit. She did however, have lovely, gray eyes, full of kindness and intuition, just like her father.

Oliver looked quite a bit like Remus, slightly taller than his sister and thinner, with shaggy sandy blonde hair, that seemed to always be in his eyes. He was quiet and thoughtful and he often let Kate do the talking. The two were thick as thieves, causing quite a bit of mischief around the old castle, but truth be told, they were adored by all. Professors and students alike loved them, for they were the first children to live in the castle in many years.

But they're weren't alone for long. For just after their second birthday, they were joined by Neville and Luna's son, Adam, an eccentric little boy who always seemed to be wearing mismatched socks and then by Draco and Ginny's daughter, Matilda, a small strawberry blonde with her father's clear blue eyes and her mother's lovely smile. The four young children spent the school days in the sweet, cozy nursery, newly-built just beside the greenhouses, where Ginny watched them while their parents taught. The castle was full of babies it seemed.

Headmaster Snape had sneered at first, complaining loudly to all who would listen how inconvenient the young children were and how much they disturbed him, his remarks earning him quite a few glares and nudges from his sweet, new wife, Marie. But those remarks seemed insincere at best, for everyone seemed to notice how much he actually liked being around the young children, visiting the nursery several times a week to check on Ginny and the children, often toting new toys and books along with him.

He now even carried chocolate frogs in his robe pockets just for the young quartet, who would often walk up and tug his robes twice, their own secret signal, and he would slip them a treat with a discrete wink and a small smile, much to the chagrin of their parents. So it wasn't a terribly shocking surprise when a few months back, Marie happily announced to the entire Great Hall that a little Snape would be soon gracing the castle's hallowed halls. She was in fact due any day now.

As Kate and Ollie sat happily making mud pies by the water's edge, joined by Adam and Matilda, Winky suddenly appeared with a pop by Hermione's side, looking highly agitated.

"Missy Lupin, headmaster wants you, now! The baby is coming! You is greatly needed," Winky practically begged as she began tugging on Hermione's arm.

Hermione smiled widely and jumped to her feet, she looked at Remus with such joy, "Can you watch the kids? I think Severus & Marie will be in need of a bit of assistance."

He smiled up at his beautiful wife, "Yes, of course, I'll feed them plenty of chocolate and let them play Quidditch till midnight," he said, standing to give her a sweet kiss.

She gave him a playful scowl back, "If I'm not back by eight, kindly tuck them in. Hopefully I won't be gone too long."

"Take your time dearest, give the Snapes my best and floo if you need anything," Remus said, his face full of happiness as he sat beside his two beautiful children to splash in the water.

"Kate, Ollie, I have to go help Aunt Marie and Uncle Severus for a bit. Be good for daddy," said Hermione, as Winky began frantically tugging at her shirt.

"Okay! Bye, mum!", they called as one, happy to be with their father and friends.

"Good luck, Hermione!", called Neville and Luna.

"Tell Severus not piss off Marie, a woman in labor is a terrifying thing," called Draco, which earned him a warm smack from Ginny.

Winky grasped Hermione's hand and they apparated with a pop and landed in the large headmaster's quarters. Severus was pacing, looking anxious, his usual crisp robes abandoned and the sleeves of his white button-down shirt rolled up. He looked exhausted and on-edge, like he had been pacing for hours. Marie meanwhile was laying in their large, canopied bed, taking deep breaths, having just experienced a strong contraction. Poppy was bustling around the room, looking stern and focused as she attended to her patient.

Hermione rushed to the bed, taking Marie's hand in her own.

"Marie, dearest, I'm here," said Hermione, her face flushed from apparating.

"Oh, Hermione, I'm so sorry to bother you," said Marie. "Thank you for coming. Your first week off from teaching, and I have to go and bug you. I feel terrible interrupting your time with the kids," she said, looking genuinely contrite at picking such an inopportune to go into labor.

"Oh, stop that right now. You're having your baby, there's no where I'd rather be," said Hermione as she smiled, wiping her friend's brow.

Marie and Hermione had indeed grown close since Hermione's wedding. Remus didn't have much family left so Hermione made a considered effort to get to know his cousin a bit better. Marie was often invited to the castle for dinners and the Lupins' couldn't help but notice how attentive Severus was each time the young healer visited. As Marie and Severus grew closer, finding such happiness and comfort from eachother, Hermione grew to love Marie as a dear friend. Marie was thoughtful, kind and smart. She was an exceptional healer, dedicated to helping children and her mind was sharp, often matching Severus point by point in every discussion and argument. She was funny, warm and generous. She was a perfect match and compliment for Severus. Hermione and Remus were overjoyed when the pair married in a small ceremony just three years ago.

"Are you in a lot of pain? Do you need anything?", asked Hermione.

"No. Poppy's taking excellent care of me. It's actually Severus I'm worried about," said Marie, her voice dropping a bit. "He's been bustling around here like a banshee. He seems quite nervous, I think he could use a friend," she said, smiling and squeezing Hermione's hand.

Hermione chanced a glance at the headmaster and saw him helping Poppy carry in fresh towels and vials of healing potions, his face set in a tense frown. Although to the casual observer he might appear to be irritated or preoccupied, Hermione could tell by the slight tick in his jaw and panic in his cold eyes that he was indeed quite nervous.

"Don't you worry about a thing, I'll take care of him. You focus on yourself and the baby," Hermione said, giving her friend a sweet kiss on her forehead.

Poppy came to the bedside just then to check on her patient.

"She will need to push in a little while, she needs to rest for now and gather her strength. You two," Poppy said, directing her attention to Hermione and Severus, "give her a bit of space while she closes her eyes. It won't be long now," she said to Marie who gratefully laid her back and closed her eyes to rest for a bit.

Severus nodded and walked out onto their large, private balcony and Hermione followed, closing the doors behind them. As she turned and breathed in the beautiful, fresh air, she caught sight of Severus, who stared out at the stunning castle grounds, seemingly lost in thought.

"Quite the incredible view you have, Headmaster. It's good to be the king, isn't it?", she said playfully, nudging him affectionately.

He smiled slightly but remained quiet, his eyes stayed fixed on the distant horizon, arms crossed over his chest.

"Are you alright, Severus? Excited? Nervous?", Hermione asked gently.

"Absolutely terrified, if you want to know the truth," he replied.

"Everything's going to be fine, Severus. Trust me," said Hermione.

He remained silent and Hermione took that as her cue to do the same.

"None of this was supposed to happen, you know," he finally said. "I wasn't supposed to live through the war," his voice quiet and soft. "The terrible things I did...", his voice trailed off.

"I know it was you who saved me, Hermione," he said, turning to look her in the eye for the first time since she arrived.

"I was so close to death when you found me in the Shrieking Shack, the darkness felt so close and I honestly...I wanted it. At least then I would be free. But then you found me and staved off the poison long enough to get me to Poppy," he swallowed hard at this, recalling how dangerously close he came to slipping away.

Hermione merely walked to stand by him and gently hooked her arm in his.

"I thought you didn't know it had been me. You never said anything," she smiled softly.

He shook his head, "I always knew it was you," he said looking down at her. "You're the only one strong enough...the only one kind enough to have helped me," his eyes now warmer and full of gratitude, as he placed his hand over hers.

She smiled at his kind words as they watched the sun make its slow descent in the sky.

"I don't deserve all of this," his hand gesturing to the grand castle grounds and Hermione knew he was referring to more than just the magnificent view.

"I don't deserve this life or Marie or this child. I truly don't," he said, his eyes falling to the dark mark that peeked out from under his rolled up sleeves. He looked on the verge of tears.

"Of course you do, Severus. You think so little of yourself, you always have. You so easily forget all the good you've done. Without you, we never would've won. None of us would be here without you. You're meant to be here, for you still have more good to do," she said, taking his cool hand in her own, as they watched the sky turn brilliant shades of pink and red.

"What if I'm terrible at this, Hermione?", he quietly asked, his voice so soft and full of doubt.

"What if I can't ...be a good father? What if I end up being just as terrible as the heartless bastard who raised me?", his eyes sad and unsure.

"But Severus, you're so good with the children. They love you, you're going to be wonderful," she said honestly.

He smirked, "It's one thing to hand out chocolates, it's quite another to actually be a good parent. What if I just don't have it in me to really love this child the way they need to be loved?"

"Severus," she said forcibly pulling him to her, so she could look him in the eye, "you are living proof of how much one person can change. You're a wonderful man with a good heart. You're an amazing husband and a faithful friend. You are not your father. You're going to give this child a wonderful life, believe me. When you hold them for the first time... it's like nothing else in this whole world. You're going to love them more than you ever thought possible."

He swallowed and nodded, still unsure but hoping with all his heart that Hermione was right.

Just then, Poppy opened the double French doors and said, "I think she's ready to push, you two should get back in here."

The pair rushed in to see Marie wide awake and sitting up a bit in bed, her brow covered in sweat as she looked tired but determined. Severus immediately sat on the bed next to her, taking her hand and kissing her head.

"Dearest, what can I do? What do you need?", he asked, so worried and so very much in love with his wife.

"Just hold my hand, the contractions are...very strong. I think...I'm going to need to push," said Marie, her eyes closed as the pain grew in intensity.

Poppy looked between her legs and said, "Marie, you're ready to start pushing. So when I say go, start pushing and hold that push for 10 counts."

Marie looked suddenly scared, the moment was finally here and she needed all the help she could get.

"Hermione, go on her other side and help hold her leg back while she pushes," said Poppy.

"Severus, you hold back her other leg and and support her back," continued Poppy, ever the calm voice of confidence in a crisis.

Hermione crossed around the bed and gave her good friend a warm kiss on her cheek as she pulled Marie's leg back a bit.

"You're going to do marvelous, Marie. We're right here," said Hermione. Marie smiled at the words of encouragement and fixed her face with a look of determination. Flanked by her devoted husband and dear friend, she knew she could do this.

"Now Marie, give me a big push," said Poppy, her eyes focused on the task at hand.

For ten counts, Marie pushed and pushed with all her might. Minutes passed as the contractions grew and grew and the baby's head finally began to show.

"The baby's head is starting to crown, I can see black hair!", said Poppy excitedly.

"Definitely yours then," said an exhausted Marie with a small smile as she looked at her husband, eliciting a soft chuckle from Severus.

"I should hope so," he said, smiling at her.

"A few more pushes should do it. Alright now, push, Marie! Really hard now," said Poppy.

Marie beared down with all her might, her face contorted in concentration and pain as she screamed in agony at the effort and with her very last ounce of energy she gave one final push and out came a beautiful, perfect baby girl.

A clear, heartfelt cry cut through the silence as their daughter made her presence known. Severus pulled Marie tight in his arms as the pair watched, absolutely awestruck, as their daughter wriggled and breathed for the first time.

How many times had he witnessed a life ending, how many innocents drew their last breath in front of him?

In his time, he had seen and committed unspeakable tragedy, he had watched people give up and leave this world, the light in their eyes fading away with such fear and resignation.

Long ago, he had shut himself off from the process, convincing himself that life and death were merely biological functions, with nothing holy or existential behind them.

But in this moment, he realized how mistaken he had been. For before today, he had never seen a baby being born; seeing a child draw their first breath, the light just starting to shine in their innocent eyes. Watching a new life begin was breathtaking to behold, it felt sacred and singular in its beauty. He realized with a start that he was witnessing an absolute miracle unfold before him, and the magnitude of it took his breath away.

"Oh dearest, I'm so proud of you. You're amazing, absolutely incredible," he whispered to Marie, his voice full of adoration and wonder.

Poppy's face broke into a look of pure joy as she quickly wrapped the baby in a soft swaddle and cast a series of complicated spells to clamp the cord, stop any excess bleeding and offer additional pain relief to Marie.

"She's perfectly healthy and quite beautiful," the older nurse said with tears in her eyes as she carefully tucked the child in her mother's waiting arms. She was small and lovely with jet black hair and stunning, clear blue eyes.

Marie cried as she held the baby, holding Severus against her and kissing his sweet lips, delighting in the incredible joy of their small, perfect family.

"Oh, Severus, she looks just like you," said Marie, tenderly touching his cheek.

"Oh, good heavens, no," he said, quietly taking in the miraculous sight of his beautiful baby girl, his voice thick with emotion.

"She has your lips, and your nose and your stunning eyes," he said, as he kissed his wife, so very proud of her strength, her courage, her fierce heart. He felt such gratitude to be her husband and call her his own.

"She's absolutely beautiful, just like her mother," he said, tracing his fingers over her delicate jaw, his eyes taking in her beauty.

"I love you, Severus, with all my heart," said Marie.

"I love you, too, Marie. More than you'll ever know," he said, cupping her face and kissing her forehead.

With some effort, Marie sat up a bit and gestured for Severus to open his arms.

"Here, hold your daughter," she said, gently shifting her small bundle towards her husband.

"Oh, no, no, you should do that. I don't what to hurt her or...", he said, rather self-consciously and unsure of himself.

"Don't be silly, you'll do fine. She wants her Poppa, I can tell," smiled Marie, who obviously knew how to get her way with her smitten husband.

He reluctantly stood and cradled his arms as Marie placed their small daughter in his tentative grasp.

As his daughter settled against his chest, he felt his whole world collide and burn and fall apart, all in an instant. And from those ashes arose something wonderful and new.

As he looked into his daughter's blue eyes, her face so full of innocence, he now fully realized the love you could have for your child, the depth and breadth reaching beyond every realm and ideal he could have ever imagined. Everything was going to be different from here on out, for he now had a real family. And in this moment, he finally understood.

He understood why Lily Potter had sacrificed herself for her son.

He finally grasped just what unconditional love felt like.

It was crushing and all-consuming, frightening and exhilarating. It was the most incredible feeling in the world. He now knew without a shadow of a doubt that if faced with the same choice as Lily, he would happily, joyfully lay down his life for his daughter. For even now, the bond and pull of his love for this child was unbreakable, unquestionable.

He pulled his daughter close and kissed her head gently, breathing in her sweet baby smell, her wispy hair tickling his lips. He sat down on his bed next to his beautiful wife and for the first time in as long as he could remember, Severus Snape wept. He wept tears of sadness, joy, relief and gratitude. He felt that love settle firmly in his heart, burning bright and white hot and he knew he would never feel the same again. Marie pulled him close and kissed his head, knowing just how much this moment meant to her husband. She felt, not for the first time, honored and humbled to be his wife.

Hermione watched and smiled, knowing all the happiness that lay ahead for the new parents. Yes, Severus and Marie Snape were going to be just fine.

Hermione stepped forward and gave Marie a quick hug and kiss before crossing to Severus and saying, "Congratulations, Severus. I always knew you had it in you," as she gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek and gazed at the peaceful baby.

He looked at Hermione, with tears in his eyes and simply said, "You were right, of course, Hermione," as his daughter grabbed his hand, her small, pink fingers clutching his hand and in turn, his heart.

"You were right," he all but whispered.

Hermione smiled at his words and said, "I'll come back later to check on you all and see if you need anything."

As she turned to leave the new family to rest in peace, she stopped and asked, "By the way, what's her name?"

Marie looked at Severus and smiled. Severus turned and said, "Aurelia Hermione Snape. Her first name is after Marie's grandmother and her middle name is after her brave, kind, insufferable, know-it-all godmother."

At this, Hermione felt sweet tears fall from her flushed cheeks as she looked at Severus who smiled back at her, his face full of gratitude.

"Do please let Remus know that he will also be needed as her godfather," Severus said with a genuine smile.

"I owe you and your husband quite a lot, you know. You've both given me so very much. Thank you, Hermione, for everything," said Severus who looked at his family with pure love, knowing all too well how easily he could've missed out on this exquisite joy.

Hermione smiled, knowing just how much she owed Severus, too. They had in fact saved one another from so many things.

She locked eyes with him and smiled and said, "Well, then, I'd say we're even, Severus."

XXXXX

Sometimes in life, we expect the worst. Living in perpetual fear of the unknown, always expecting everything to fall apart when we're least expecting it. Maybe it's because it's how we've been raised. Maybe we do it because it's the only way we've ever known. So when things to do go well, it can come as quite a shock.

As Hermione walked through the quiet castle, back to her husband and children, she felt joy, elation, peace but most of all she felt surprise. She hadn't expected life to bless her with so much, she smiled at all the good fortune that filled every inch of her life in the past several years. Teaching alongside her husband, having two healthy, happy children, watching her friends find love and start families. It all felt right and beautiful, like happiness had been patiently waiting around the corner this whole time.

As she entered their large chambers, she heard giggling coming from her children's bedroom and she crept closer to listen, knowing full-well that this was Remus' favorite time of day with the kids and he relished it each night. She put her ear to the door, she heard them talking and a smile settled onto her face.

"Oh, daddy! One more story! Please!", the twins begged.

Remus smiled at his beautiful children, and sat back down on their bed to tell one more bedtime story, for he found he could never say 'no' to them. He loved tucking them in, he had in fact not missed a single night in four years. Since being cured, he relished each and every night with his dear family. Finally free from lycanthrope, never having to leave his wife and sweet children to wallow alone in the Shrieking Shack, never having to spend days in bed recovering, never worrying about hurting anyone again, he finally felt alive. He finally felt free. As he looked out their bedroom window, he caught sight of the full moon high in the sky and smiled at its beauty, a feeling of peace and gratitude flooding his heart.

"Alright, my loves, just one more. What story would you like?", Remus asked kindly as he tucked himself between the wiggly four year-olds who snuggled closely to their dear father. Smelling sweet and clean, their hair damp from their bath, they each held a well-worn teddy bear as they held their father close.

"Tell us about you and mummy," said Ollie, his beautiful brown eyes looking up eagerly at his father.

"How did you and mummy fall in love?", asked Kate, sitting bolt upright, looking expectantly at Remus, sleep seemingly forgotten.

Remus smiled and chuckled and said, "Well, I met mummy when she was still a student here and I was her teacher."

"Was mummy very smart?", asked Kate, her eyes wide with wonder.

"Oh, she was the smartest of all my students. She always knew the answers. And she was kind and brave and a good friend. She took wonderful care of Uncle Ron and Uncle Harry, she was always saving them from some kind of trouble," Remus said with a smile.

Kate laughed imagining her two favorite uncles probably got into quite a bit of mischief.

"Was she beautiful?", asked Ollie quietly, tucked next to his father. Remus tenderly held him, always taking such joy in spoiling his his sweet, kind son with the warmth and affection he never had as a child.

"Your mum was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and her beauty has only grown over the years. I knew the moment I met her that she was going to be an amazing witch."

Ollie smiled and nodded at the answer, seemingly agreeing with his father's astute assessment.

"Was she your best friend?", asked Kate.

"Oh, yes. She's always been my dearest friend. You see, that's the secret," Remus said leaning close to his babes. "When you find your best friend, you'll love them more than anything in the whole world."

"More than books?", asked Ollie.

"More than flying?", asked Kate.

"More than chocolate?!", the pair asked in unison.

Remus nodded and they stared at each other in disbelief.

"And when you love them that much, you'll know that you were meant for each other," said Remus, smiling.

"That love will grow and blossom, no matter what. And it will make wonderful things, like the two of you," he said, leaning down and kissing each child on their noses.

The pair giggled as Remus tucked Kate back under her blankets, as he slipped from the bed they shared.

"Now, get some good sleep. We have a big day tomorrow," Remus said softly, brushing Ollie's hair from his eyes and tucking Kate's teddy into the crook of her arm.

"Where are we going, daddy?", asked Kate as she let out a huge yawn, her body and mind finally relaxing.

"We're going to Nana and Poppa's for Sunday dinner," he said, and the twins smiled, for they loved Arthur and Molly so dearly and always loved going to their cozy, happy home.

"Uncle Ron and Aunt Claudia will be there with Ally and Aidan. Uncle Draco and Aunt Ginny will come with Mattie, too. We'll have a wonderful time," said Remus.

"Will Uncle Harry come? Will he let me fly on his broom?", asked the fearless Kate, who absolute adored flying.

Remus nodded and smiled at his sweet children and marveled at the love he felt for them. He had never known how deep he could feel for another until he held his children for the first time, their sweet, small hands clutching his fingers, his heart soared at the love that bloomed in his very soul. He was transformed by that love. He felt that his life, the true life he was meant to lead, had finally begun. He smiled, knowing that on the other side of the castle, at this very moment, Severus was having that same realization.

"I love you both so very much," he said as he bent and gave them both sweet kisses.

"We love you too, daddy," they said as one, holding eachother's hands, like they did since they were small.

"Good night," he said softly, as he shut off their light, bathing their cozy bedroom in a warm twinkling glow from their magical nightlight.

As he closed their door, he turned to find Hermione standing in the hallway, smiling.

His face broke into a smile and pulled her close, "When did you get home?", he asked softly.

"Just a few minutes ago, I heard you tucking them in," she said with a smile.

"Did everything go alright? Is there a new Snape in the castle?", he asked, smiling.

"A beautiful baby girl, with jet black hair and good set of lungs," she said, smiling up at her dear husband.

"Sounds just like her father," mused Remus.

"Indeed," said Hermione, chuckling softly.

"I liked your bedtime story," she said smiling.

"So you've always loved me then?", she asked playfully.

He nodded, smiling while rubbing her back and leaning down to kiss her.

"Since before I even knew you, I loved you. We were destined to be together, your name was written on my heart, you see," he said.

"When you say it like that, it's hard to not believe it," she said, smiling.

They stood outside their children's door, hearing their soft giggles soon quiet and they held eachother, tired and happy and overjoyed to have this messy, happy home and this precious life together.

"They sure are growing up fast...", Hermione said a bit wistfully.

"They certainly are. Maybe they'd like a baby brother or sister," Remus said, a bit hopeful that Hermione would agree.

"Well, it's funny you should mention that...", she said biting her lip, looking up at him expectantly.

His mouth hung open in surprise and he placed a tentative hand on her still flat stomach.

"Are you?", he asked, his smile spreading to his eyes.

She nodded and smiled and said, "Happy anniversary."

"Oh, dearest, I couldn't ask for anything more amazing," he said, as he hugged her dearly.

He pulled her in for a beautiful kiss, full of love and devotion, passion and pride.

He pulled away with tears in his eyes and knelt down before her, holding her tenderly in his strong arms.

He kissed her belly and placed his hands delicately there, and said to his new child, "You are already loved, little one. For you have the most wonderful mother in the whole world. You're going to love her dearly," his voice choked with emotion, leaning his head tenderly against this beautiful woman.

She watched him with wonder and felt such a rush of happiness and peace.

"Thank you, Hermione," Remus said as he traced his fingers along her stomach, imagining what their baby would be like.

"For what?", she asked, stroking his soft hair, her fingers as entwined in his soft hair.

"For giving me your love, for curing me, for making me a father," he said looking her in the eye.

"For giving me a life worth living," he said, standing to pull her close.

"I love you, Remus. Forever."

"I love you, Hermione."

 _Finis_

 **A/N: Well, there we are, all finished. *Sniff, Sniff* I'm a bit sad to leave this one behind. Remus is my absolute favorite character and I hope I've treated him well and done justice to the story I wanted to tell. This was my first attempt at fiction writing and I sincerely loved telling this story. I hope a few of you have enjoyed reading it, too. So thanks again for reading and reviewing. You guys are the best! I'll be writing a Severus/Hermione story next called 'A Different Kind of Magic' so if you've enjoyed this, be on the lookout for that. Thanks again & take care :)**


End file.
